User blog:CrashBash/Crash's Wooden Spoons

Since SpaceManiac did this for Series 10, the concept of determining an episode's "Wooden Spoon" seems to have become a popular one.

.....so I just thought I'd post my personal wooden spoons. If nothing else so I can actually keep track of what I don't like about an episode....or something.

So, without further ado, here are my Wooden Spoons for EVERY single episode of EVERY single series.....GO!

Series 1

 * The fact that Roadblock was only declared as having "survived" the Sumo despite pushing Sunt off simply because it

fell off.
 * David Crosby. He got better.
 * Dreadnaut
 * The fact the featherweight heat exists at all.
 * Shunt freeing Bodyhammer and allowing it to win
 * Jeremy Clarkson continually picking on Prince of Darkness

Series 2

 * The heat final's Judges' decision
 * Death Trak going backwards and ruining its own chances.
 * What was clearly a Mortis sacrificial heat.
 * The fact that the two best robots, both statistically and objectively, fell too early.
 * Pain not starting
 * Parthian Shot not starting
 * Roadblock nearly not making it to the battle stage.
 * The House Robots attacking everyone in Football.
 * The fact that Prometheus couldn't even climb the ramp and yet someone STILL did worse.
 * Broot
 * The fact we never got to see Mega-Hurts being interviewed after the Trial, because I feel it'd be fitting

considering they started calling Plunderbird chickens and then chickened out themselves.
 * Dead Metal immediately pushing off Tender Caress and deliberately toying with everyone else.
 * The Mortis incident - I know it's not obvious on the show itself, but looking back over it it's hard to ignore,

especially when you see Mortis isn't even trying anymore.
 * Haardvark losing its chance of beating Cassius just because it slightly strayed into the PPZ.
 * Killertron underperforming
 * The fact that Jim Struts won the reserve rumble solely on the basis that ''all its opponents just strayed into the

PPZ and THE HOUSE ROBOTS JUST DECIDED THAT WAS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH BECAUSE '''THAT'S TOTALLY FAIR IN NOBODY'S

UNIVERSE AND WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THE IDEA OF THE PERIMETER PATROL ZONE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES!!!'

.....ahem....sorry, so sorry.

Series 3

 * Suicidal Tendencies winning the judges' decision despite being immobile on one side seemingly because Raizer Blade

drove into the pit.
 * The Floor Dildo!
 * Razer falling early, again
 * A heat full of extremely low quality robots
 * The fact we had to hear that a kid got sick...gross.
 * Vector
 * Henry
 * Hypno-Disc smashing everything, winning and yet somehow STILL not being the best robot in the heat. Does that

count?
 * Crusher showing so much promise and failing miserably.
 * If Excalibur truly WAS playing dead, they let a seriously good battle down.
 * R.O.C.S. 2's pinball run!
 * The heat final.
 * Cassius 2's pit-dive.
 * Killerhurtz's pit-dive.
 * The fact that despite showing it off, we never actually got to see any footage from Facet's camera.
 * Another heat full of low-quality robots. If your in-theory best robot is Dreadnaut, you have a problem.
 * The Floor Dildo, times three!
 * Gravedigger vs Steg-O-Saw-Us could really have done with being made clearer.
 * The football trial final
 * The fact that it was blatantly obvious from the get-go which two robots would win the groups.
 * Panic Attack and Killerhurtz losing having dominated their fights.

Series 4

 * Obvious champion's sacrificial heat.
 * Ian Lewis' reaction to losing.
 * Firestorm severely underperforming and getting really lucky on two decisions.
 * Shunt deliberately wasting time before pushing Kater Killer off in Sumo...bad Series 2 vibes.
 * Shadow of Napalm.
 * The second first-round battle.
 * Warhog being the best non-Hypno-Disc spinner in the series and breaking down!
 * Wheely Big Cheese
 * Small Torque's cooling system not working.
 * Bigger Brother's flipper not working.
 * The fact that the heat final was between the two worst robots in the heat and yet it STILL managed to be the best

fight of the episode.
 * The fact we didn't get Spawn of Scutter vs Plunderbird 4
 * Why was this heat swapped again? Just so we could get Gemini to fight Chaos 2 earlier? Great job getting that to

work.
 * The finger-waggle.
 * Oblivion dying from a robot driving over it.
 * Obvious Hypno-Disc worship heat.
 * The fact that it's blatantly obvious that Chaos 2 is way ahead of everyone else, since it's the only one not to

get a judges' decision.
 * ....I guess Stinger vs Mousetrap was a little bland?
 * There's NO way Chaos 2 beat Stinger on every category being equal but damage. If you want to keep it tense, be

realistic...
 * The entire Celebrity Special.
 * Three of the tag-teams have one good robot and one bad robot, and one has two good robots. No one will be able to

guess the winner!
 * Dominator 2's last minute breakdown
 * Onslaught just seemingly giving up the ghost in the final...although it did lead to that attack so....
 * The fact TPTB thought they could have a small War of Independence, then had to extend it later to stop it being a

UK whitewash. And it only barely worked.

Extreme 1

 * God, the acting was cringeworthy
 * The fact people were acting like Wheely Big Cheese and Ming 3 of all robots were legitimate threats to Hypno-Disc.
 * Flensburger Power
 * The whole controversy of the Mayhem which could have been cleared up if they'd actually discussed what happened

with Killertron, if indeed anything happened at all.
 * The whole confusion over the Tag Team Terror which to this day I STILL don't understand, aside from believing that

Bigger Brother and Major Tom were never meant to win it anyway.
 * Dull Vengeance battle
 * The fact that people thought Wheely Big Cheese and Ming were threats to Hypno-Disc but Pussycat wasn't.
 * King B losing control.
 * The House Robot Rebellion - they're not interesting when the competitors can't fight back.
 * Razer vs Behemoth. It's not a bad fight by any means, until you realise it COULD have been Razer vs Hypno-Disc.
 * That Mayhem!
 * Two dull battles in a row.
 * The first of many unfair brutalities against featherweights.
 * The fact the annihilator didn't have all the competitors that were meant to be there, or indeed should have been

there, which would have made it much more interesting.
 * Hypno-Disc losing to Nasty Warrior
 * Chaos 2 falling in the pit...again.
 * Are those seriously the best robots the armed forces can make?

US 1

 * The fact that TPTB made a tournament involving five robots designed to be fodder for the House Robots, in

addition to two robots that barely worked and they still messed it up because they forgot about the one robot

that was actually competent. Still a great Rebellion, though.
 * The fact that the second best robot of the tournament lost early.
 * The sheer inbalance of the Union and Confederate teams. One team has two loanerbots, the other has two semi-

finalists. Yes, that's fair.
 * Continual House Robot interference...which I see as foreshadowing.
 * Rebecca Grant!
 * The fact that they tried to shoehorn the ENTIRE US championship into one episode, and it just barely worked.

Dutch 1

 * Rat looking decent but going down early.
 * Pullverizer being too badly damaged to compete thereafter
 * Meshuggah being unable to show any potential.
 * Project One.
 * A heat full of dull robots
 * OK, I get you couldn't get Pullverizer, and to its credit, it DID reach the final two, but why Lizzard exactly?

Series 5

 * Obvious champion's sacrificial heat...and even then Chaos 2 nearly botches it.
 * Juggernot 2
 * The fact we barely got to see from the Plunderbird boys
 * Four lousy newcomers guaranteed the veterans victory
 * Napalm 2 vs Warhog. GodDamnIt, Warhog, you had ONE JOB!!
 * Corkscrew's victories, whilst well earnt, just felt rather fluky.
 * The house robots attacking Evolution for no reason.
 * The fact that Supernova, arguably the best robot in the heat, was up against the only robot who could beat it.
 * Tetanus dying from having steam shot in its belly button.
 * MONAD!!
 * Suicidal Tendencies not working...which is a shame because I would have loved to have seen it fight Razer.
 * Fluffy being handed victory against a legendary robot on a silver platter only to fall FLAT ON ITS FACE!!
 * Why do they still refer to Wild Thing's srimech as a "flipper"?
 * Hypno-Disc vs Dominator 2, not because of what happened, but because nobody tried to stop it.
 * Razer vs Bigger Brother...but that's to be expected when you have two amazing come-from-behind battles, regardless

of how many were successful.

US 2

 * Cyclone dying way too early
 * Medusa Oblongata is counted out, the House Robots pick on The Bat....logic!
 * The fact that Unibite would have won if they followed the UK rules.
 * House Robot interference
 * Techno Trousers
 * More House Robot interference
 * Why is there a Middleweight fighting Heavyweights?
 * A heat of extremely poor quality robots.
 * Too many robots driving into the pit...yes, two is too many.
 * Mick Foley constantly suggesting that everyone teams up against Cyclone and nobody takes the hint until its too

late.
 * Mick Foley being a jerk to Team Joker/Falcon.
 * "Razer's Wheel"....how has that not become a meme?
 * The fact that the two best robots in the competition lost in the semi-finals...they might have given the House

Robots some problems, but I guess we'll never know.

NRW

 * Are these seriously the best four robots you could pick for the US championship?
 * OK, I get Run Away was trashed, but what happened to Kat 3?
 * "What a great Vengeance Battle!" - Oh, don't kid yourself, Dave, some things are best left NOT sugar-coated.
 * The fact that, after a great opening battle, every other battle was basically "something falls out, robot dies"
 * Revolutionist failing in the Ultimate Mayhem. Why did they use those cords anyway? We've already seen they didn't

need them.
 * Oh look, another Middleweight amongst Heavyweights!

Series 6

 * Obvious champion's sacrificial heat.
 * Three of the four Round 1 winners ended in the pit.
 * Chaos 2 struggling in all three of its battles. Time has not been kind to it.
 * Sir Chromalot driving around the pit instead of trying to fight S3.
 * 259
 * Fluffy being handed victory against a legendary robot on a silver platter only to fall FLAT ON ITS FACE FOR THE

SECOND SERIES IN A GODDAMN ROW!!....sorry.
 * Tornado accidently eliminating Terror-Bull. Oops
 * Spawn Again being at its worst, subjectively speaking, and STILL winning the heat.
 * Corkscrew's early exit.
 * Both S.M.I.D.S.Y. and Hydra being so great against Dominator 2 only to be unable to finish it off. Give credit to

Dominator for managing to pull the victory back, but still...
 * Obvious Hypno-Disc worship heat.
 * Behemoth somehow going through despite being the second to be immobilised. Although in the long run, that was

probably for the best.
 * The first of Dantomkia's link problems.
 * Spawn Again being so close to winning the losers' melee only to seize up...oh, NOW you decide to not work.
 * The grand final, not for the fight itself, but purely because of the fanboy rage that somehow STILL hasn't

stopped.
 * OK, I know you're on home ground, but come on, Das Gepack clearly won that battle, at least from what I saw. That

might be interesting to go over.

German

 * Who in their right mind decided that the opening fight of the entire series should be one where only one of three

robots actually works?
 * What are obviously the best two robots in the series in the same group battle
 * Forgone conclusion, even if the final was great.
 * The fact that the European Championship was trying so hard to get a Black Hole vs Razer final and they STILL

botched it up!

Dutch 2

 * Project Two: Hex'em being nothing like RA2's replica....what, that counts as a reason, surely?
 * Shapeshifter being nowhere near as much fun as the last series.
 * Bamm Bamm, one of the best robots in the last series, losing to a flipper that barely moves.
 * Weapons not working throughout the entire episode.
 * Scarab vs Vortex Inducer
 * Meshuggah's unfortunate exit

Extreme 2

 * Philippa constantly going on about how awful Tornado's scoop is despite it being its best weapon.
 * The fact we'll never get a Hypno-Disc vs Razer battle
 * Raging Reality losing way too early.
 * Bigger Brother and five other robots ranging from decent-to-meh-to-rubbish. Yeah, the winner CLEARLY isn't

obvious!
 * The fact they don't introduce Mini Morg or Velocirippa properly.
 * Maximus
 * Night Raider
 * Mad Dog. I won't say Chopper because that was hilarious.
 * Practically every robot that wasn't Cedric Slammer
 * The mess that was Mute vs Cedric Slammer
 * Ellie's Frickin' Pink Bot!!
 * None of the challengers were going to beat Tornado. Which makes the tournament kinda redundant.
 * Shunt's actions in Behemoth vs Chompalot, more so it righting Chompalot. Why? Was it so that Pussycat would have

an easy opponent in the final? Well, congrats, you messed that up.
 * The fact the two best robots, the ones who were MEANT to be in the final, fell in Round 1.
 * Philippa not shutting up about Corkscrew driving in the pit despite that only happening once.

Series 7

 * Cassius Chrome barely getting a mention. And then being underwhelming.
 * The way they handled Terrorhurtz's disqualification.
 * OK, this one is nitpicky...when I first saw the episode, I legitimately thought Dantomkia would have to withdraw

because the "after the break" clips showed replays of the previous fight, not clips from the heat final itself, and

since I was writing down the information at the time, I thought I was going to make a mistake...of course, it's

clear WHY they did this, but it messed about with me anyway, so...
 * 13 Black really underperforming.
 * Obvious champion's sacrificial heat.
 * The Axe Attack was frankly a mess
 * Atomic being the only good robot.
 * The Crusher Crunch-Up.
 * No special event? Seriously?
 * Pinser dying for the second battle in a row over the same flame jet. Regardless of which was filmed first, you'd

THINK they'd learn their lesson.
 * The Middleweight battle.
 * Behemoth's loss
 * The Featherweight battle, especially with what happened to Micro-Mute
 * Spawn Again being at its best, again subjectively speaking, and STILL losing the heat!
 * All credit to Iron Awe, but can you imagine what would have happened if Bigger Brother had won?
 * Black and Blue being severely disappointing.
 * Gravity's flat tyre.
 * Thermidor dying too quickly.
 * Even though they don't specify it, several little things make it clear that someone on the production team doesn't

like Storm 2.
 * Three robots dying within seconds during the first round of the annihilator.
 * Firestorm losing the way it did.
 * I dunno, the whole World Championship felt rushed to be honest.

Series 8

 * Razer losing the way it did. No disrespect to Kill-E-Crank-E, it just left me wanting more. I feel seeing Behemoth

getting its revenge or Carbide wiping the floor with it, both of which I think would happen, would have been much

more satisfying ways for Razer to go out. Still better than what happened to Firestorm.
 * Foxic vs M.R. Speed Squared...and Foxic in general.
 * Or Te
 * PP3D vs Eruption
 * Pulsar. I don't think I've been this unimpressed of a robot winning its heat since Spawn Again in Series 6.
 * Dara really could have made the announcement of who won the final a little more dramatic. He's capable of making

declaration voices, but here sounded too normal.

Series 9

 * JAR
 * Dee...albeit its attempt at using YOLO as a strategy against Kadeena Machina was hilarious
 * Terrorhurtz getting screwed by the format for the second series.
 * ...do I really need to explain this one?
 * The pit not working properly to the point of it trapping robots.
 * The whole mess that was Ironside3 vs Pulsar...and not for the first time.
 * How set-up this heat was. I mean, I don't normally play the whole "rigged heat" card, but it was obvious that

Apollo and Carbide would make the final, and also pretty obvious whoever didn't win would get the wildcard.
 * Wildcard rendered redundant.

Series 10

 * PrayForGabeToCalmDown
 * The whole confusion over the Cease that never happened.
 * Craig Danby's overall behaviour, regardless of what the cause was, didn't sit well with me.
 * Iron Awe 6
 * Push To Exit
 * Magnetar throwing away two potential wins
 * Apollo still not being able to flip Sir Killalot
 * The fact that Foxic and Mega Melvin were turned down in favour of a revamped Arena Cleaner...shame Fuzzy couldn't

get Polar Vortex across.