The Morgue

"Morbid name, hopes very much alive and kicking..."

- Jonathan Pearce

The Morgue was a Welsh series of robots that competed across three UK series and two series of Extreme of Robot Wars. Although taking a variety of weapons and sizes, the robots generally shared the same basic design; a yellow barrel shape, enabling it to self right by rolling over. "It's like a large self-righting tortoise."

- Craig Charles

The first incarnation, known as The Morgue, competed in the Fourth Wars. It featured a shunt-and-lifting system with forks powered by an actuator used in adjustable authopeodic beds and protected by aluminium checker plate. It had a rollover kevlar & fibreglass shell shell, two motors off a Scanyard truck. The Morgue lost in the first round of Series 4, but was reinstated after Scar withdrew, and managed to beat Ming 2 to reach the heat final, where it suffered an unfortunate & arguably controversial defeat at the hands of Firestorm 2. Originally as a pupil's A level project, school rules stated that it must be stored. "The undertaking of the Morgue boys? To cause "grave" problems for the house robots!"

- Jonathan Pearce

The Morgue's spare parts were largely salvalged for the new built machine Mega Morg for the first series of Extreme. The weight increase allowed it to improve its weapon from electric spiked lifting forks to a pneumatic large spiked lifting plate, but was not too quick at 10mph. It featured a picture of Ann Robinson on its front, in the hope that it would be destroyed - apparently, the team disliked her attitude towards Welshmen. This was the last usage of this large chassis before dismantling, although the yellow shell would be on display in Dorian Caudy's classroom until well into 2004. Dorian Caudy also used to manage the Welsh women's rugby team.

Unhappy with the performance of Mega Morg and with the news of potential seeding, the team started to build a new titanium shelled robot Mini Morg for Series 5. It originally exhibited in the Cardiff leg of the Robot Wars tour, abeit in unpainted titanium with a yellow Grim Reaper logo. Although downsized significantly, this machine was 2 kilos heavier than its predecessor, presumably due to the steel chassis. It retained the picture of Ann Robinson, but had it set beneath the black lifting bar weapon, which was of similar design to that of Atomic. Mini Morg also had a rear axe weapon, based off Shunt's design, although Jonathan Pearce mistakenly stated it had two axes. It was given a controversially high 19th seed, and fell in the first round to an impressive Kat 3. Unsurprising considering a lack of traction meant the machine couldn't push forward on the wet floor. It returned for Extreme 2, attempting a second try for the Tag Team Terror title, this time paired with X-Terminator. This version of Mini Morg had only slightly modified titanium shell onto a new aluminium chassis. It was armed with a titanium flipping shovel and a vertical spinning disc replacing the axe weapon on the last incarnation, this was a design which was then converted into the Series 7 machine.

When entering Series 7, the team chose to return to the name Mega Morg. It was the smallest robot of the lineage when measured in any dimension, and featured skid-steering. Mega Morg upgraded The Morgue's drive train with the original Mega Morg's wheels, modified Mini Morg's titanium shell and utilised Mini Morg's CO2 flipper and small 10kg, now horizontal, spinning disc, powered by a 24V motor and both also built out of titanium. It also contained custon-made actuators. Teaming up with fellow Welsh team Panic Attack, it made the second round before being knocked out by an impressive Robochicken. Mega Morg is still in one piece and on display in Dorian Caudy's classroom.

"This turning into a right farm-yard brawl!"

- Mark Hooper, looking at the surrounding rubber chickens and inflatable sheep

From Extreme 1 onwards the team would have a flock of blow-up sheep which they called "Ninja Sheep", these would be the teams mascot and one would usually go into the arena with the robot, but they always got dislodged from the robot, punctured or melted.

Like many other competitors, The Morg also competed in Techno Games. For the Technogames Sumo event, The Morgue –now with no electronics or motors - was dragged out of cupboard. A new set of motors bought for the next Morg incarnation was added to The Morgue’s drive train as were the wider surface area small wheels from Mega Morg. It earnt the team a bronze medal and the drive was recycled for the Seventh wars. For the Technogames football, this new incarnation of The Morgue and the weaponless Sixth Wars Mini Morg both got tortoise paint jobs and polystyrene heads based off the above Craig Charles quote.The Morgue were renamed Torty after Francesco Totti and Mini Morg was renamed Slowman after David Seaman. The football team was called ‘One Foot in the Goal’ after the tortoise filled titles of BBC sitcom ‘One Foot in the Grave’.

The Team also entered the Penalty kick with their Neil Jenkins caricatured machine Cybertenic, tying with and then losing to Big Brother's Ian Watts. It earnt them two bronze medals over two consecutive years.

Appearances in Merchandise

 * Mega Morg/Minibot

Ming
"It's almost as bad as being called English"

- Dorian Caudy on his dented pride

During the same controversial heat that sparked the Firestorm rivalry, The Morgue earned themselves a rival in the form of Ming. During the semi-final bout between the pair, Ming 2 began the stronger, before breaking down, allowing the Morgue to claim a rather lucky win. However, the Ming team that The Morgue only won by default, this sparked a vengeance battles with the team's new robots in the first series of Extreme. The Vengeance battle began with Ming 3 by far the stronger, puncturing Mega Morg with its new claw. Mega Morg did fight back with its lifting weapon, but this was not enough to take the resulting judge's decision. The two never fought again, leaving the score settled at 1-1. "Nice to see that Razer has been welded to the top of Ming 2!"

- Mark Hooper

Series 4
"Boys never grow up, their toys just get more dangerous."

- The team motto

The Morgue made its first appearance in the Fourth Wars, it was drawn up against the number 5 seeds and previous Grand Finalists Firestorm 2 and fellow newcomers Scar. In the battle, The Morgue started sluggishly, trying but failing to push Scar. After a short while, Firestorm 2 took the opportunity to flip The Morgue. Firestorm 2 charged into The Morgue side on, got underneath it, carried it over to the arena side wall, and flipped it. The Morgue couldn't roll back onto its wheels, due to it being up against the arena side wall. The Morgue was deemed immobilised, so Sir Killalot came in, picked it up, held it over the flame pit, before the ouse robot eventually dropped the robot, The Morgue then rolled back onto its wheels and started moving again, but cease was then called, and the result remained. "No, you can't zombie-like rise from of the pit!"

- Jonathan Pearce as The Morgue escapes and attacks again

However, Scar had suffered major technical problems meaning that The Morgue was reinstated in their place and met Ming 2 in the second round. The Morgue wasted little time and charged side on to Ming 2 and managed to avoid being flipped. Despite Ming 2 appearing to be on top, The Morgue speared its wedge with the lifter, and Ming 2 broke down, causing a grudge that would be settled in Extreme 1. In the heat final, Firestorm attempted a couple of times to softly flip The Morgue so its shape would not help it self-right, but without success. Firestorm flipped The Morgue into Matilda, and flipped it again, however the Welsh machine self-righted both times time due to its shape. Firestorm pushed Morgue into the wall, but again did not successfully turn it over. The Morgue came onto the attack, pushing Firestorm around and getting underneath the Durham competitor. As the pit descended, Firestorm pushed Morgue across it, getting it wedged on the open pit, and Firestorm 2 reversed in. The Four Horsemen celebrated, thinking that they were victorious, however the judges awarded the win to Firestorm 2 based on the controversial view that the Morgue had gone into the pit. "What the judges have said, is that the pit was activated and The Morgue went into it first, and though it wasn't immobilised for 30 seconds, Firestorm was winning on points up to that point anyway. So they've given it - to Firestorm!"

- Craig Charles relates the judges decision to a crestfallen Dorian Caudy and team

Extreme 1
Mega Morg fought in three battles in the first Series of Extreme. The first was in the Tag Team Terror competition, where it was paired with Diotoir. In the first round, Mega Morg and Diotoir faced reigning champions 101 and King B Powerworks. Mega Morg started the battle by charging at 101, fighting the former champ until each tagged their teammates. Then both 101 and Mega Morg came out of their corners and started to battle, turning the battle into a four-way melee. 101 was then flipped over by Diotoir and it looked like only one of its tracks were working. King B meanwhile had lost control and was spinning wildly. The battle went to the judges, who declared that Mega Morg and Diotoir were the winners. "I'd just like to say that we are the world champions now. We've stopped the whole tournament because we've beaten you lot[King B Powerworks and 101], we are the world champions!"

- Dorian Caudy

However disaster struck before the second round as Mega Morg broke down, with their speed controllers breaking as the main source, and it was unable to continue, so Diotoir was joined by substitute Pussycat. Pussycat and Diotoir then went onto win the competition.

Mega Morg was also challenged to two Vengeance battles, firstly against Plunderbird 5 to determine which team were the best singers. The battle that came was very slow with the two robots mostly dodging each other until Plunderbird 5 got its claw stuck in Mega Morg's lifter. Towards the end it seemed that the House Robots were getting bored and Shunt came out of his CPZ and axed Mega Morg. Refbot then gave Shunt a yellow card. The battle ended and the judges decided that Plunderbird 5 had won. "Well for a vengeance battle that was just shoving and pushing and calling names. I usually show you some highlights... but there weren't any."

- Craig Charles describes Mega Morg's battle against Plunderbird 5. Mega Morg again featured a Vengeance battle, this time against Ming 3. Ming 3 wanted vengeance after the Mega Morg team's victory against Ming 2 in the Fourth Wars, and inflamed the situation by calling the win a "default". The battle started quickly with both robots dodging each other, until Ming 3 managed to get its crushing arm into position and it caused some damage to Mega Morg. The two robots dodged each other some more until both robots strayed into Sir Killalot's CPZ. Sir Killalot then pushed Mega Morg into the pit release button, which ripped the button from the arena wall. Whilst Mega Morg tried to escape from Sir Killalot's grasp Dead Metal almost drove down the pit. The rest of the battle featured both robots trying to push each other until cease was called. The judges then decided that Ming 3 had won and taken vengeance.

Series 5
Mini Morg came into the Fifth Wars as the number 19 seed, mainly due to reaching the heat final of the previous series, despite having to be reinstated along the way. In the first round of the heat, Mini Morg was drawn up against the new Kat 3 machine. In the battle, both robots started the fight tentatively with them both dodging each others attacks. Kat 3 missed with its axe as Mini Morg rammed it. Mini Morg then used its axe, but it didn't seem to cause much damage. Mini Morg looked very sluggish and Kat 3 grappled it with its axe and pulled it around the arena. Mini Morg was then pushed towards Sir Killalot and was almost flipped over. It escaped, but Kat 3 pushed and rammed it, before activating the pit release button and pushing Mini Morg into the pit of oblivion, eliminating the seeded machine from the competition.

Extreme 2
Mini Morg returned in Extreme 2 in the Tag Team Terror Competition. This time it was partnered with X-Terminator whom they had met at Junction 7 on the M5, according to Dorian Caudy. In the team's first battle, they were drawn up against veterans to the competition Sumpthing and S.M.I.D.S.Y.. X-Terminator started the fight against S.M.I.D.S.Y. and after some dodging X-Terminator buried its axe into a wheel opening on S.M.I.D.S.Y. The two robots strayed close to Sumpthing, whop tried to axe X-Terminator. Sumpthing was then tagged and chased X-Terminator around the arena, Mini Morg was then tagged, S.M.I.D.S.Y. then came back into the action and shoved Mini Morg into X-Terminator. Mini Morg then used its rear disc to cut into S.M.I.D.S.Y. which caused some sparks to fly. X-Terminator then axed S.M.I.D.S.Y. The battle descended into chaos as Shunt and Dead Metal ganged up on Sumpthing, whilst S.M.I.D.S.Y. tried to lift Mini Morg. Sumpthing then appeared to break down and was counted out one second before cease was called, which meant that X-Terminator and Mini Morg went through to the second round. In the Semi-Final round, the pair was drawn up against Hydra and Barbaric Response. Again X-Terminator started and immediately axed Hydra. However Hydra managed to get under X-Termiantor's scoop and flip it onto its end. Dead Metal then grabbed X-Terminator and cut into it. Both Mini Morg and Barbaric Response were tagged, with Barbaric Response quickly flipping Mini Morg over, but Mini Morg's barrel shape meant it rolled back onto its wheels. X-Terminator then came back out and for a few seconds got its axe stuck in the arena floor. Then like all Tag Team matches four robots came into the fray with Hydra flipping and axing Mini Morg and X-Termiantor miss timing its axe blow on Hydra. Hydra then flipped Mini Morg again, but this time Mini Morg didn't have the momentum to roll back onto its wheels and Growler then slammed into Mini Morg and dragged to the Refbot. "Mini Morg slammed into the CPZ, and that will be its kennel"

- Jonathan Pearce as Mini Morg is dumped into Growler's CPZ

X-Terminator released the pit release button and Mini Morg was self-righted, but it looked like it had broken down. Mini Morg was counted out by the Refbot and subsequently then pitted by the house robots. As a result, Hydra and Barbaric Response had won the judges' decision for having both robots still mobile, whereas X-Terminator and Mini Morg were eliminated from the competition.

It was later discovered by the team when Growler rammed Mini Morg, the house robot had managed to knock all of the receiver cables out.

Series 7
"It looks yellow... dangerous, looks like a bee."

- Dorian Caudy describes Mega Morg.

A more compact Mega Morg machine returned to the Seventh Wars, still with the flipper but this time equipped with a horizontal disc, rather than a vertical disc. In the first round of the heat, Mega Morg was drawn up against New Blood heat-finallists Edge Hog, Spin Doctor and another yellow robot from Wales in the number 8 seeds Panic Attack. In the battle, all four robots started quite quickly as Panic Attack drove into Spin Doctor almost flipped it over. Mega Morg tried to use its disc on Edge Hog, but Edge Hog was unaffected and axed a hole in the top of Mega Morg. Meanwhile, Panic Attack had lifted Spin Doctor over and Spin Doctor rolled into the pit release button. Mega Morg continued to back into Edge Hog. Edge Hog launched a number of axe attacks, but only landed a few on Mega Morg, none of which seeming to cause any damage. It looked like the two Welsh machines were teaming up on Edge Hog and as Edge Hog attack Panic Attack, Mega Morg got its flipper underneath Edge Hog and flipped it onto its back. Edge Hog managed to self-right with some help from Mega Morg. Spin Doctor was then counted out. Panic Attack then slid under Edge Hog and lifted it into the air. Then both Mega Morg and Panic Attack held Edge Hog in the air and pushed it into the pit of oblivion, putting the seeded Panic Attack and Mega Morg through to the next round of the heat. "The Welsh here are ganging up - Mega Morg from Swansea and Panic Attack from Cardiff, and Edgehog out as a result - celebration in the Welsh camps"

- Jonathan Pearce as Edge Hog is pitted

In the second round of the heat, Mega Morg was drawn up against Robochicken, a robot with a similar amount of experience. In this battle, both robots initially dodged each other, but then Robochicken tried to flip Mega Morg, but missed. Mega Morg then pushed Robochicken into the arena wall, but then seemed to get stuck on the wall with its front end perched on top of the wall. However it managed to free itself. Both robots rammed each other and Robochicken managed to flip Mega Morg into the air, but Mega Morg landed on its wheels. Robochicken then circled around the front of Mega Morg and got its flipper under Mega Morg's flipper and Robochicken flipped Mega Morg over. Due to the fact that it was flipped at its front and not its side, Mega Morg's semi-circle shape (designed to roll the robot over back onto its wheels) couldn't be used to self-right. Robochicken then ground into the shell of Mega Morg with its saw, then activated the pit release as Mega Morg was counted out and put on the drop zone where a washing machine fell on it. Sergeant Bash then pushed Mega Morg into the destroyed washing machine, which then fell down the pit. Cease was called with the defeated Mega Morg on the edge of the pit.

Results

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Wins/Losses

 * Wins: 4
 * Losses: 7

Series Record

 * Series 1-3: Did not enter
 * Series 4: Heat Final
 * Series 5: Heat, Round 1
 * Series 6: Did not enter
 * Series 7: Heat, Round 2

Trivia

 * Alongside X-Terminator and The Steel Avenger, The Morgue was one of only three machines to fight in two Tag Team Terrors with different partners. Intriguingly, it teamed up with the former in the Extreme 2 one.
 * Mini/Mega Morg lost both Tag Team Terrors by breaking down. Ironically, X-Terminator lost its earlier Tag Team Terror, also because its partner (Inverterbrat) broke down.
 * The Morgue series had the same Wins/Losses ratio in the UK Series as the Ming series, whom they were rivals with.