User blog:Toon Ganondorf/Ranking all of the weapons in Robot Wars

It's time for a new list and I've been experimenting with a few ideas, but this is one I've settled on tonight. The weapons of Robot Wars are one of my favourite discussion points on this wiki; their weaknesses, strengths, which weapons work best against others and which ones give the best coverage.

If I had more time and energy I'd do a huge write up on which weapons work best on other robots as well (I started previously but never finished). Instead I'm just going to provide thoughts on each of the weapons from the least good to the most good.

Most good. Yeah, I'm not as eloquent when I'm tired.

I've chosen to omit spikes, ramming blades, wedges and all unique weapons. The first three are by nature passive secondary weapons almost impossible to comment on without simply talking about Mighty Mouse's speed, Tornado's drive or Roadblock's tactics. Unique weapons are also unfair to rank, as how can one discuss the merits of Mousetrap when there's only one robot to discuss? For every other weapon there's Hypno-Discs and Devastators, Chaos 2s and Cygnus X-1s, Terrorhurtzs and X-Terminator 2s.

26. Drills
The drill is without a doubt the worst weapon. The logic is there to choose it - a weapon that can bore holes straight into the robot has to be a viable choice. Look int your workshop - you've got the hammer, the axe, the circular saw and the chainsaw, why not throw the drill in?

Unlike hammers, axes and saws, drills are almost completely useless in their own regard. I grew up with two handyman grandfathers and can tell you that the drill was the first tool I was allowed to use because of its extremely low potential for injury. Hit your thumb with a hammer or run an active saw into it, it'll hurt something crazy. Against robots those two may be naff but they'll still hurt a human. A drill on the other hand is safe. You have to be deliberately trying to hurt yourself to inflict injury on yourself with a drill. And therein lies the dilemma.

How does the workshop's safest tool, which cannot hurt a human, become a viable weapon against robots without flesh, nerves or pain receptors armoured in steel and aluminium? Even wood is hard to damage with a drill without serious force behind it - how often have you tried to drill a screw into a piece of wood and had it spin on the spot or get stuck going in? Now it's all well to say that a drill can have pressure applied by adding some drive power behind the weapon, but that assumes you're driving full power into an immobile force. No opponent in the combat arena, even the sorts of bots Torque of the Devil came across, is going to sit still while you try to drive a drill into it.

And then, even if you do get your drillbit into the robot, the chances of inflicting actual damage is slim to none. The robot is exactly the same, just with a two-centimetre hole in it. You have to drill through a battery or a wire to inflict something that's going to make a difference.

The most famous drill robots are Drillzilla and Ming Dienasty. Drillzilla barely counts as it's strength was in ramming. Ming Dienasty was one of only two seeds to lose in round one, spending the whole battle failing to get the required purchase on its opponents to score any damage points.

Save the drill for the construction and leave it in the shed where it belongs.

25. Flails
The Flail is a showman's weapon. In essence it was simply a few strands of chain or steel rope with heavy pieces attached to the end. They were great for show, highly active and very resilient to reaction shock (i.e. the impact with an opponent). That's all terrific except for the fact that they do next to no damage.

The most famous flail bots are Mace, Nuts, Tornado, Inquisitor and Caliban. Tornado's was nothing more than an "active" (quotation marks) weapon on its scoop. Inquisitor and Caliban never saw action. That leaves Mace and Nuts, a Series 2-3 robot and a Series 8-9 robot. A startling discrepancy between the flail heydays, one must say. Mace was the first one to use a flail properly and used it to dislodge Leighviathan's armour and scuff Chaos'. Hold your kudos at the door, because everyone knows Mace had a perfectly functioning lifting arm and it used that to win the fights that counted. Cosmetic damage only helps if you're trying to win a judges decision, and in a primarily srimechless era, there's no need. There's also the fact that Mace mounted the flail on the rear of the robot, which means its only useful if you go around reversing into opponents, which is a silly design which I've never liked.

Nuts on the other hand was designed more as a nuisance fighter. The flail is a perfect weapon for it. It's fun and entertaining to watch and has little to no prospects of winning even if it had a pair of Stinger-style maces on the end. The entertainment factor of Nuts is not a huge factor in the rateability of a flail weapon.

Overall, flails are pretty naff weapons. They do next to no damage, are all flash and no substance, are fragile, and had almost nothing going for them as early as Series 3.