User blog:Rammingspeed/Robot Wars Series 9 Heat B - Rammingspeed's Punditry

That first episode was a doozy, wasn't it? It was like nothing we'd ever seen before; Terrorhurtz being destroyed (twice), Aftershock looking like if 259 wasn't made out of crisp packets and THAT OOTA ON NUTS MY GOD. I'm sure Matilda's flywheel wasn't that scary last series, Christ.

On the topic of Aftershock, I think we might be looking at one of the best robots in the world right now - if not the best. I can't think of anything, including Tombstone, Minotaur, you name it. Currently, I think it's unstoppable.

Can anything in this heat stop it? Probably not, but let's get down to business.

Group Battles
Behemoth vs Cobra vs Eruption vs Hobgoblin

This is a very, very strong group battle and I'm confused as to why one of them wasn't moved to the other, weaker, melee. However, if I had to pick a weak link I'd definitely say Hobgoblin - its slow speed, lack of srimech and unconvincing weapon (an eggbeater on a heavyweight? It's like giving a train a golf caddy engine) leave it very exposed here. It's gonna be on its back quicker than Tyson Fury's next opponent with Behemoth and Eruption around.

That leaves the remaining three. This is one of the toughest decisions I've had to make since I had to decide whether to get up this morning for my 9am lecture. Eventually I just thought "who can do the least?", and I'm afraid I settled on Cobra. Should one of the other two flip it (which they will) it totally neutralises the crushing beak, leaving it relatively defenceless. It'll survive to a decision, where it'll lose out.

Eruption and Behemoth Progress

Cherub vs Draven vs PP3D vs Push to Exit

First of all, what a crap name "Push to Exit" is. What was wrong with Envy? It's times like this that make me want to point out how Shane Swan looks like the villain in Toy Story 3.

That aside, it won't be troubled here. Draven and Cherub (Gabriel pls come back) are sub-par opponents in this melee, and they're easy targets for PP3D who will have little trouble tearing them to bits. Cherub to lose a lifting fork, (Lord) Draven to end up in the exact same way it did last series. I wish I could write more, but this just seems all too obvious.

PP3D and Push to Exit Progress

Head-to-Head Battles
Eruption vs PP3D

Let's get the toughest one out of the way first, shall we? We all saw what happened last year - PP3D tore pieces off Eruption in a battle that would have been far worse for it had PP3D's motors not been more fragile than a YouTuber's ego. As for this year? I think PP3D looks strudy enough to weather the recoil from its own attacks, leaving Eruption in a very bad position. It can do very little here, giving PP3D a KO win.

PP3D Wins by KO

Behemoth vs Push to Exit

Push to Exit is very fast, 9mph faster than Behemoth and that front looks lower to me. This should be a good little battle though, we haven't had a flipper-on-flipper duel for a while - and they're always entertaining when they're two competent machines such as these.

I don't see a knockout, but I do see a great fight. Push to Exit to take it, forcing Behemoth into hazards and the house robots more than its opponent.

Push to Exit Wins by Judges' Decision

PP3D vs Behemoth

Imagine Behemoth vs Carbide, except Carbide is more powerful and Behemoth can do even less to it.

PP3D Wins by KO

Push to Exit vs Eruption

The general rule of thumb is that front-hinged, despite being generally inferior, beats rear hinged. I'm not sure here though - Eruption is more compact and has that drum that could be the turning point if it catches the lip of PtE's wedge. That being said, PtE is a lot quicker, and can certainly catch Eruption with a couple of flips.

Overall though, I think this battle belongs to Eruption due to its more powerful flipper and that drum would really have me worried if I was Rafa Benitez - I mean, Shane Swan. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say his machine lasts the 3 minutes, it looks sturdy enough.

Eruption wins by Judges' Decsion

Behemoth vs Eruption

Behemoth's really struggling here isn't it? Eruption beats it regularly at live events, so I don't see why this should be any different. Eruption has a lower front end, I reckon Behemoth's going oota.

Eruption wins by KO

PP3D vs Push to Exit

Time to bring up another rule of thumb - Horizontal Spinners beat Front-Hinged Flippers, especially if they're a Full-Body Spinner. Can PtE rush PP3D before it gets up to speed? Maybe, but that flipper is just too narrow to have any real effect. PP3D will inevitably damage the weapon of PtE, eventually causing a KO.

PP3D wins via KO

PP3D: 9 Eruption: 5 Push to Exit: 2 Behemoth: 0

Heat Final
PP3D vs Eruption

A weird part of me wants to say Eruption here. Probably the same part of me that used to burn ants with a magnifying glass and listen to Nu-metal. I thought that part of me was dead. Well, apparently not. Will PP3D be damaged by this point? Maybe, but remember that should the disc become warped, the team has a replacement. I trust it to be in good enough shape here to see off Eruption and enter the grand final. Two spinners already? Is this Battlebots?

HEAT B WINNER: PP3D