User blog:Toon Ganondorf/Robots jibbed in favour of "more interesting" opponents

We all know that Robot Wars was about merchandise and making household names. I'm interested in documenting robots who were promising in their own regard, but got - for lack of a better word - "screwed over" by the show in order to make more interesting robots proceed.

Making a robot is difficult, and many of the roboteers are families or university students who want to do something for fun. Frequently, these groups were tossed out in favour of glamorous robots who would look good on TV. Sure, the wars were often bettered by this discretion, but sometimes they weren't.

''Please note that none of the "behind the scenes" stuff is necessarily fact. I am writing this in the interests of writing a creative piece, and sometimes hyperbole results. I do not intend to accuse anyone of foul play in doing so.''

Prizephita Mk 2
The biggest problem with Wheely Big Cheese was its metre-long body. Once part of that started to slide forward, it was basic gravity until the whole thing ended up in the pit. Sure enough, this happened twice in the Series 4 heat.
 * When: Series 4, Heat H, Eliminator.
 * The Beneficiary: Wheely Big Cheese.

Typically when a robot goes into the pit, it takes really obvious circumstances to save them (Vector was DOA and that's why T2 survived). The judges didn't save Panic Attack against 101, nor Milly-Ann Bug against Bumblebot. Terror Bull in Series 6 copped the misfortune of a technicality, because everyone thought Inshredable was immobilised and so Tornado pitted them in good fun, not realising that Terror Bull would be the ones to go out.

Now imagine you are a producer of Robot Wars. You rely on people going "woah!" about the robots on your show, and that means exposure, exposure, exposure. No one cares if Gravedigger goes out in Round 1, get a load of Thermidor 2! Cerberus? That didn't even have a head. We have Hypno-Disc to make that episode exciting. Diotoir? Weld-Dor 2 and Evil Weevil 2? That heat was a write off anyway. But when Roger Plant unveiled his Wheely Big Cheese, everyone was desperate to get that money shot.

The fight isn't great. WBC doesn't attack either opponent, instead going after Sir Killalot in the CPZ. Notice how Killalot and Shunt corner WBC in the opening seconds of the battle, and yet don't make any attempt to slice or axe. They don't dare impede the robot they are counting on to boost the series' ratings. Prizephita Mk 2 ends up in the CPZ, but this time the House Robots show no mercy. Wheely Big Cheese goes after Sir Killalot, and the battle looks to be settled.

But then - just as Prizephita Mk 2 is pushed towards the descending pit - Wheely Big Cheese is nudged forward and gravity does the rest. Wheely Big Cheese is in the pit! What are you going to do? Your anguish lasts a mere few seconds, as Prizephita Mk 2 is pitted by the House Robots. And for good measure, Shunt chucks Wheelosaurus in on top. Had Wheelosaurus been on the other side of the arena, perhaps the outcome might have been harder to justify. Now, however, the fans are busy guffawing about all three robots being in the pit. The fans want Wheely Big Cheese to go through. Regardless of the next battle, WBC is up against either Maverick or Killertron, both of whom are big, weak, chunky robots who can't damage Wheely Big Cheese and will look great flying through the air. And remember how Wheely Big Cheese was going after Sir Killalot? We need to give them another chance to flip Killalot!

So with three in the pit, you get to pick two robots to go through. Despite being a rather old-fashioned machine, Peter Gibson's Wheelosaurus has no grounds whatsoever to be eliminated. You really only have one scapegoat to sacrifice to save Wheely Big Cheese. Can you go to the judges? Not really. Look at the criteria.
 * Style - Wheely Big Cheese got that big yawning flip on, which looks great, but it achieved absolutely nothing with it. Lowest category, no one really gets anything here.
 * Control - WBC deliberately drove into the CPZ twice, and then the pit. It definitely loses here.
 * Aggression - The only robot doing any attacking of opponents was Prizephita Mk 2 by flipping Wheelosaurus. WBC got two feeble half flips on Prizephita, but they missed almost entirely. I'd say they're about even.
 * Damage - WBC took damage from Dead Metal, Prizephita from Shunt. Again, I'd say about even, as neither caused any.

If swayed by the battle between Prizephita Mk 2 and WHeelosaurus - which they should be - then WBC loses, the pit notwithstanding.

So what do you do?

You stiffen your spine, straighten your tie, and declare that "Prizephita Mk 2 was immobilised too long." So what do the judges do? Was Prizephita Mk 2 completely dead on arrival, like Vector? Or was it still moving, like Inshredable? We'll never know for certain. Prizephita Mk 2 was showing impeded mobility, but no one can say for sure because Shunt grabbed hold of it like a prime time TV slot and didn't let go for the rest of the battle. However, given that it took very little physical damage, I'd say that Prizephita didn't get a chance to show that it was broken down. So much the better, if you are Wheely Big Cheese.


 * 101 -