User blog:NJGW/The Robot Wars Forgetmebots

Hello, everybody. It's your boy, NJGW, back at it again with another blog. With Judge NJGW and my Ranking The Reboot still ongoing, it's not exactly the best idea to chuck another into the equation, but when you somehow end up chatting away with Toast and TG until 5am, you're always asking for the worst I guess.

Speaking of TG, this blog will take a very similar tone to his previous entry of a similar ilk. As per that blog, this one was sprouted during one of our many random topics we have during our calls. However, unlike most topics which just have their short timeframe of talk and are then put to one side, this particular idea casually knocked at the front door, and after you let your guard down and allow him inside he then sets his stall out and sleeps over for the next week and a half.

So yeah, this was initially just a tangent about us picking the most forgettable machine of Series 1. But after some surprisingly passionate debates, we just couldn't resist the temptation to tackle every single classic series UK Championship Heat, as well as Series 8's.

So what specifically is the idea about? Simply put: we go through each Heat, and we each make our pick of the least memorable/most forgettable machine in each and every one. Eventually, a final pool of machines is built up from all of those Heat winners - allowing each of me, Toast, and TG to pick our Bottom 3 Most Forgettable Machines of each series. We will also conclude the journey by picking the Most Forgettable Machine of All Time - the Ultimate Forgetmebot, if you will.

We all good? Cool. Let's get on with Series 1.

Series 1
Heat A: our first Heat opens with the situation-beneficiary, Shogun. A machine that benefits from being in Heat A, as apposed to Shogun benefiting the episode itself. No other machines were even discussed - with the rest of the Heat consisting of notable controversy, or future darlings of the show.

Heat B: Uglybot took Heat B in another rather quick decision. Scrapper was put forward as an interesting last-ditch save for the unattractive machine, but ultimately a short Gauntlet run is going to hinder any machine, and especially one like Uglybot.

Heat C: A rather unexpected one, but Cruella being the loser of Heat C just ended up feeling like it made sense. Wedgehog is definitely another main contender, but that machine feels like it finds the smallest, lightweight-sized place in people’s hearts with its plucky performances and fun Gauntlet-trial hybrid. Meanwhile, Cruella is what it is. It trickles its way through the Heat, and then lost in the way it did. Still, it’s quite funny: Cruella itself is such a bland name, and yet it feels like the name is the only memorable thing about it. For some reason, you do remember there being a robot being called Cruella at some point in the show's history, even if you don't remember the robot itself. What we certainly don't remember is its campaign as a whole.

Featherweight Face-off: The Featherweight Heat was a really good brainstorming session. TG went in early with shouts for any of SAT’arn, Bugs, or Krayzee Tokyo, while Nick pushed Vector of Armageddon forwards (but not too far forwards - we don't want it beached on anything, do we?). Now, initially when we started this blog idea, we used Series 1 to warmup. We simply narrowed the list down to the losers of Heats E and F, and sort of left the Featherweight’s to wilt at the side without committing to anything being the most forgettable. However, after getting into our stride with the remaining series, we did revisit Heat D of Series 1 and did agree on Adam Clark’s machine. Vector of Armageddon is simply Cunning Plan without a title charge. For a bland robot to be remembered it really has to do well. Cunning Plan did, VoA didn’t. Even the Adam Clark factor doesn't save it here, because the man went on to create so many machines - with the likes of 259 and even Wowot always able to take the main spotlight of his. While TG’s nominations were hardly bots that we reminiscence on during a rainy day, VoA is still the machine that tried everything it could to ensure Heat defeat here - in more ways than one.

Heat E: Wharthog is likely to be a strong contender for the Ultimate Forgetmebot, and certainly seals its place as the loser of Heat E. Not only was it strikingly similar in shape to the already obscure Full Metal Anorak, but it also starred in the 5th episode which feels like a position where forgettable robots can get swallowed whole. To sum things up here, Wharthog gets beaten by a bar - no not spinner - and is frozen there. Wharthog lost immediately, had a horrible Heat to be in in terms of trying to be remembered, and couldn’t even provide a sticking-point-of-a-name like Cruella tried to. This really is so poor, and Wharthog really could be in big trouble overall.

Heat F: So far us guys have largely been in agreement. Yeah, that’s about to change in Heat F. After some early lucky dips where everybody covered every angle, Nick and Toast decided on The Blob. However, I casually mentioned that Elvis felt so 'lost' as a Series 1 robot, and TG's Australian lightbulb went off as it result. It was also staying on and covering the entire electricity bill because Elvis became one of TG's most passionate votes during this whole process. Toast and TG had an interesting back and forth as a branch of that. Toast said that Elvis was still was a memorable robot, lookswise, despite its performance - and especially in a Heat like this. TG held firm though - really trying to push home the lack of identity or belonging that this machine had in Series 1. As a result, this became our first and only split of the series.

THE POOL: Heat A - Shogun Heat B - Uglybot Heat C - Cruella Heat D - Vector of Armageddon Heat E - Wharthog Heat F - The Blob x2, Elvis (TG)

THE BOTTOM THREE: Here we have the first instance of the bottom three. The machines in contention are all from the pool above. Below, we see which trios our three wise men went for. What would you personally pick?

Nick: 1st: Wharthog 2nd: The Blob 3rd: Vector of Armageddon TG: 1st: Elvis 2nd: The Blob 3rd: Wharthog Toast: 1st: Wharthog 2nd: The Blob 3rd: Vector of Armageddon

OVERALL: 1st: Wharthog, 2nd: The Blob, 3rd: Vector of Armageddon

So, the first batch of The Bottom Three is in, and here are our results. Both Wharthog and The Blob feature on each list, and infact Nick and Toast completely shared their order, as Vector of Armageddon filled in at number 3. TG still largely agreed, but ensured that his Jailhouse would be filled by Elvis. What a way to Rock our world.