User blog:Rammingspeed/Robot Wars Rebooted: Episode 2 predictions

Before I begin, can I start by stating how strangely amused (in a depressing and ironic kind of way) by a member of the Nuts team having a slight disagreement with CB as I write this? It's weird. It's like watching a super-fan go to a concert of their favourite band having waited over 12 years to see them again, only to climb on stage and start fighting with the drummer. And they say satire is dead.

...One more thing. In retrospect, my first round predictions for Episode One were frighteningly on point. I swear I didn't go to any tapings. Oh well, my second round predictions were about as accurate as a £2 BB gun. Let's see if I can turn that little trend around.

First Round Melees
Disconstructor VS Shockwave VS Thor VS Tough As Nails

Christ, that right there is a group of death. Every single robot is highly impressive. I'm going to give Shockwave the nod due to its aggressive nature and durability; I think these two factors will allow it to shrug off attacks from every other robot in the field. If TAN grabs it for example, I still believe Shockwave will still have the power to push its opposite number around with its 4WD.

As for the other three, it's a toss up. But, I'll give it Thor on the account that we haven't (or at least I haven't) seen Disconstructor since its less-than proud exit in Series 7 and in that lone battle it did nothing noteworthy besides the obvious. Thor has some decent pedigree behind it and plenty of experience in robotics, so it gets my approval here.

Disconstructor to be left immobilised after being ricocheted around the arena following blows from its flywheel on other robots and TAN to be pushed around by Shockwave, whilst Thor picks up aggression points throughout the 3 minutes.

Thor and Shockwave Qualify

Chimera VS Draven VS Foxic VS M.R Speed Squared

Now, I'm no engineer. I'd have trouble changing a light bulb and I also do not know what pnuematics are. It's not my specialised field. But being honest with you here, I'm pretty certain I don't need this expert knowledge to put together a solid opinion on why Chimera will not progress through this bout. I've talked about it before - beating dead horses isn't preferable to me.

Foxic, to me is an unknown quantity, but I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt here against the aged Draven - who, to be frank, wasn't very good in the first place. It doesn't help that the proverbial "first place" took place in 2001, when I was still shoving crayons up my ears. It looks very, very nice with those jaws, but I've a feeling it won't look quite so visually appealing after a run in with M.R Speed Squared. Like an 18-year old girl when she gets in after a rough Saturday night (except the part where it gets ripped apart by MRSS, they usually get ripped apart by something else).

In conclusion (bloody hell, I sound like my history essays), this is MRSS' battle. Foxic can do enough to survive given its opponents here. Chimera to be separated from its wheels with all the inevitability of a Big Brother marriage, and Draven to end up in a similar state. Foxic to do little in the grand scheme.

Foxic and M.R Speed Squared Qualify

Head-to-Head Battles
Foxic VS Thor

Right, ok. I've struggled to find videos on YouTube of Foxic (expert research) where it's actually working properly - the other videos I found after typing "Foxic" into the search bar were of Sonic the Hedgehog characters doing phallic things to one another. It still comes into this competition with a bit fear factor behind it, so I may end up getting my predictions with it completely wrong. However here, with Foxic's flat top, I feel the durable Thor can snatch this one. Eventually, this mystery of a machine will suffer too many blows and be rendered immobile after what I predict will be a good, hard-hitting fight.

Winner by KO: Thor

M.R Speed Squared VS Shockwave

Now this will be a worthwhile watch. It's also a very tough one to decide on. Which factor outweighs the other, MRSS' spinning power or Shockwave's raw strength? I'm going with Shockwave, as I feel it can use that scoop to deflect the blows, providing it doesn't expose its connecting beams on the side. If that happens, game over - but I don't think it will. I'm not certain on MRSS' reliability, so I'll give it a pass here and it doesn't get knocked out, but does suffer a loss via Judges.

Winner by Judges' Decision: Shockwave

Shockwave VS Foxic

It seems to me that Shockwave is a better version of Foxic. Whilst the latter may in some minds fare better here due to its lower looking front, take into account that Shockwave is faster, heavier, and hasn't shown itself up in every video I've watched of it. I'm loving this, lazy journalism at is finest. My favourite. Shockwave to take a win on a Judges' Decision again.

Winner by JD: Shockwave

Foxic VS M.R Speed Squared

Now, I'm going for a surprise here. With the logic I applied in MRSS' battle with Shockwave, I'm going to do the same here. I acknowledge that I stated that Shockwave was a superior version of Foxic, but I don't think that matters - the general design of Foxic looks very well suited for dealing with horizontal spinners. It's another Judges' Decision - and it's in favour of Foxic.

Winner by JD: Foxic

Thor VS M.R Speed Squared

And here we a have robot not very well suited for dealing with horizontal spinners - Thor. Axes have historically struggled against this weapon type, especially the full-body variety. I do like Thor, but I don't see it faring well here. Knockout victory for MRSS after smacking Thor around the arena like a middle aged UKIP voter smacks around his wife.

Winner by KO: M.R Speed Squared

Thor VS Shockwave

Now, I feel I should apply the same logic of Foxic vs Thor, like I did earlier in pointing out similarities between Shockwave and the former. However, something tells me Shockwave will just be too aggressive here and while Thor may score hits, they won't be enough to immobilise this brute of a machine. In this final battle, Shockwave takes it on a close Judges' Decision.

Winner by JD: Shockwave

Tallying up the scores, the final table leaves us with:

Shockwave: 6

M.R Speed Squared: 3

Thor: 3

Foxic: 2

(I've forgotten how to make tables on the wiki, it's been a while)

So, that leaves us with Shockwave vs MRSS. Taking possible battle damage into account, I'm very, very tempted to give MRSS the nod - but I'll stick with my guns and say Shockwave takes it here. I'm looking forward to this episode - it looks like the most interesting of the series. EPISODE TWO WINNER: SHOCKWAVE