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- "Ah, at last: Robot Wars enters the computer age!"
- — Jonathan Pearce in Series 6
Mega Hurts was a robot which debuted in Series 2, and then fought in Series 6 and 7. Despite entering four series, the Mega Hurts team never made it past the heats, or even reached a Heat Final. The team also entered Series 3 with Tut's Revenge.
Mega Hurts in all three of its appearances entered with a different incarnation but every robot was computer-themed.
Versions of Mega HurtsEdit
Weighing 71.8kg, Mega Hurts was a yellow box shaped robot based on a desktop computer. It was powered by four drive motors, salvaged from Ford Fiesta windscreen wipers. For weaponry, it was equipped with a lifting plate, designed to look like a computer keyboard, referred to on the show as a 'keyboard disguised lift'. It featured a rear blade which could move vertically, and a mouse mascot, and the robot even featured a moving disc drive. The monitor contained the robot's receiver. However, Mega Hurts was slow at only 4mph.
Mega Hurts 2Edit
The team returned for Series 6 with Mega Hurts 2, weighing 100kg. Its lifter was now more powerful, and quicker in operation, positioned at an angle instead of directly lifting upwards. The rear of the robot was protected by a static spear. Mega Hurts 2 used innovative side axes, powered by an automatic infrared system to fire whenever another robot came within six inches of Mega Hurts 2, making the robot one of the first to use autonomous weaponry. The side of the robot was decorated with warning stripe skirts, and the monitor on top now featured an angry face.
Mega Hurts LTEdit
- "The keyboard to CO2 full pressure flipper so is the screen which also acts as a srimech. Steel construction, poly carb and protection. Looks good, until we turn up the heat."
- — Jonathan Pearce
Mega Hurts LT appeared in Series 7, the initials in the name standing for 'laptop'. It was lighter than its predecessor by 9kg. The robot now had a much more low-profile shape, constructed from polycarbonate with a steel chassis. All three sides of the robot were protected by static spikes, aside from the front, which featured a brand new double-flipper system, the first offensive use of the monitor on a Mega Hurts machine. The keyboard flipped upwards, while the monitor flipped forwards, the team boasting that the combination of the two could flip another robot out of the arena. Mega Hurts LT was also the first machine from the team that could self-right, although it still struggled to do so when low on gas.
The name Mega Hurts is a pun based on the frequency megahertz, a concept also used by competitors Killerhurtz and Terrorhurtz. In particular, Mega Hurts references the use of megahertz when describing storage in computers. The Series 7 entry, Mega Hurts LT, stood for "Mega Hurts Lap Top" in full.
Mega Hurts qualified for Series 2 after a successful auditioning process, and subsequently entered Series 3 with Tut's Revenge. The team are not known to have attempted qualification for Series 4.
Mega Hurts was intended to make its return in Series 5, and featured a radio modem between two computers instead of the traditional RC system. Mega Hurts fought The Stag in one of its qualifier battles, but lost the battle after its sides were scratched and dented by its opponent's pincers, with Mega Hurts' name stickers also being removed. As a result, Mega Hurts would not compete in the Fifth Wars.
By attending the live qualification tour, Mega Hurts 2 was able to successfully qualify for Series 6, while Mega Hurts LT also qualified for Series 7.
Mega Hurts was entered into Robot Wars by a team from Preston in Lancashire, captained by Dave Lund, who was joined by relative Tony Lund in all of the robot's appearances. Teammate Gordon Keeling was also present in both Series 2 and 6, but was absent in the Seventh Wars. The team also competed in Series 3 with Tut's Revenge, with the same lineup of three.
- "Forget roms, Craig, this one can ram!"
- — Jonathan Pearce in Series 2
Mega Hurts fought in Heat K of the Second Wars for its first Robot Wars appearance. In the Gauntlet stage, Mega Hurts took the ramrig route, but got stuck half way down it due to the robots considerable width, but managed to break free, dodge the House Robots and reach the end zone, which put it second out of six on the leaderboard, more than enough to put it through to the trial stage of the Heat, which was King of the Castle.
After Plunderbird 2's run, the Mega Hurts team called the Plunderbird team chickens for driving into the Pit of Oblivion on purpose, and led a chorus of chicken noises in the pits, which was copied by several other roboteers.
However, this turned to look premature for Mega Hurts in the King of the Castle Trial, Mega Hurts was defeated fairly quickly (just 22.2 seconds) after getting driven off the podium by Dead Metal after the robot carelessly positioned itself in the balance and on the edge. The house robot delayed its attack to push it off, but when it did, Dead Metal went off with it. Dead Metal fell on the computer monitor, crushing it. This left Mega Hurts at the bottom of the leaderboard at the end of the Trial, eliminating them from the competition.
- "That's suicide, That is suicide! You're going, you're going, you're gone!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Mega Hurts is pushed off the ring in the Trial
At the end of the series, Mega Hurts was nominated for the Most Original Entry Award but lost out to Milly-Ann Bug.
The Mega Hurts team returned to the sixth series of Robot Wars after a long interval away from the show, this time returning with an improved machine in Mega Hurts 2. In Heat B of the competition, Mega Hurts 2 was placed up against the number three seeds Firestorm 4, and two fellow Lancashire representatives in Colossus and Cedric Slammer in the first round melee.
- "Plenty of "ram" from the twenty-four volt motor, loads of "mega-byte" from the flipper, axe and spikes, but "monitor" this lightweight armour closely and you'll see this computer-bot could "crash" easily!"
- — Jonathan Pearce sums up Mega Hurts 2 with a lot of computer puns
Mega Hurts 2 started reasonably well, but it was Firestorm 4 that did all of the aggressive work, first flipping Cedric Slammer over and then Colossus over, where neither of them could self-right. Then Mega Hurts 2 was also flipped over by Firestorm 4, smashing its computer monitor. Mega Hurts 2 was also unable to self-right, so Firestorm used pushed them into the pit. Soon afterwards, Firestorm 4 drove straight into the pit of its own accord, but as Mega Hurts 2 and Firestorm 4 were the last two robots to be immobilised, they were both put through to the next round of the heat by the judges.
In the second round, Mega Hurts 2 was drawn up against the experienced X-Terminator machine. Marlon Pritchard of the X-Terminator team was keen to win this battle due to his troubles in operating computers.
- Philippa Forrester: "Mega Hurts, now as good as new. Show me the before"
- Team Mega Hurts: "Here it is, our starter kit."
- Philippa Forrester: "That's after Round 1, this is going into Round 2, so remember what it looks like now, because you're up against...the nasty X-Terminator. And you have a grudge against computers, don't you?"
- Marlon Pritchard: "Yeah, computers have messed me around all my life, so we've made sure the axe is extra sharp for this one."
- — Mega Hurts 2 is threatened by Team X-Terminator
X-Terminator dominated the match (particularly the early stages), relentlessly hitting Mega Hurts 2 with its axe, smashing the screen off the brand new computer monitor, though Mega Hurts 2 did get underneath and push its opponent towards the end of the fight, lifting it up and driving it into a CPZ. X-Terminator lost its axe head eventually before cease was called. Mega Hurts 2 had fought well late on, but the judges' decision went in favour of X-Terminator, eliminating Mega Hurts 2 from the competition.
- "Fighting in their fourth wars. Trouble is, they've never been out of the heats."
- — Jonathan Pearce
In Heat H of the Seventh Wars, Mega Hurts LT was drawn up against two fellow veterans, the Cornish machine St. Agro and New Blood competitors Revolution 3 as well as newcomers The Scrapper in its first round melee.
- Jayne Middlemiss: "Started in Series 2, it's now War 7."
- Dave Lund: "We're getting old."
- — Pre-first round interview
Mega Hurts LT started fairly well, narrowly missing the other robots with its flipper weapon. St. Agro came in to try to flip Mega Hurts LT, but the more experienced machine managed to stay on its wheels. After a while, St. Agro managed to properly flip Mega Hurts LT over, but Mega Hurts LT was just about able to self-right. After St. Agro had dispatched The Scrapper by throwing it out of the arena, Revolution 3 began to slowly grind to an unprovoked halt just as St. Agro flipped Mega Hurts LT over again, Mega Hurts LT couldn't self-right this time and was spun around by Growler.
- "The Mega Hurts Lap Top has crashed and it can't evade Growler. Suffering from some sort of virus perhaps, and Growler hardly a mouse out there in the war zone!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Mega Hurts LT is in peril from Growler
Mega Hurts LT's wheels were still very slowly spinning, but Refbot counted it out. It was then flipped by the floor flipper, before being dumped into the pit by Growler. 'Cease' was then called and Mega Hurts LT was eliminated from the competition along with The Scrapper, while St. Agro and Revolution 3 progressed. The Mega Hurts team then retired after this.
- "Anyone who owns a laptop would be grimacing at this moment in time, with the screen and the keyboard. But it all got locked up. The memory was lost. And as for a byte, there's a mega bite...from Growler, back in the old laptop case."
- — Jonathan Pearce as Mega Hurts LT gets finished off by Growler
|MEGA HURTS - RESULTS|
|The Second Wars - UK Championship|
|Heat K, Gauntlet||Completed (2nd)||Qualified|
|Heat K, Trial (King of the Castle)||22.20 Seconds (5th)||Eliminated|
|MEGA HURTS 2 - RESULTS|
|The Sixth Wars - UK Championship|
Heat, Round 2
|Heat B, Round 1||vs. Cedric Slammer, Colossus, Firestorm 4 (3)||Qualified|
|Heat B, Round 2||vs. X-Terminator||Lost|
|MEGA HURTS LT - RESULTS|
|The Seventh Wars - UK Championship|
Heat, Round 1
|Heat H, Round 1||vs. Revolution 3, St. Agro, The Scrapper||Eliminated|
- Wins: 1
- Losses: 2
NOTE: Mega Hurts' Gauntlet and Trial runs are not included
|Series||Mega Hurts Series Record|
|The First Wars||Did not enter|
|The Second Wars||Heat, Trial|
|The Third Wars||Entered with Tut's Revenge|
|The Fourth Wars||Did not enter|
|The Fifth Wars||Failed to qualify|
|The Sixth Wars||Heat, Round 2|
|The Seventh Wars||Heat, Round 1|
|Series 8||Did not enter|
|Series 9||Did not enter|
|Series 10||Did not enter|
- On entrance to the arena for its Series 7 battle, the Robot Wars announcer Stuart McDonald introduced Mega Hurts LT as Mega Hurts Limited, believing that the LT in the name stood for Limited, rather than Laptop.
- Mega Hurts LT was one of seven robots from a team that had previously fought in three wars that went out in the first round of the Seventh Wars, the others being Aggrobot, Velocirippa, Metalis, Black and Blue, Major Tom 3 and Shredder Evolution.
- In both Mega Hurts' first and last appearances, it was the last robot to be introduced in the heat.
- Both of Mega Hurts' losses in Series 6 and 7 involved it being spun round by Growler.
- Throughout the series that it appeared in, Mega Hurts never shared the arena with Cassius Chrome or Shunt.
- All three of Mega Hurts' domestic championship battles involved a former or eventual semi-finalist, with St. Agro being the only one not to reach a Grand Final.
- Both times the Mega Hurts team were in the same heat as Team Death, they appeared in Heat H and both fell in the first round.
- The Scrapper was the only one of Mega Hurts' opponents not to appear in another series.
- Chris Delph of Team A-Kill notably confused Terrorhurtz with Mega Hurts while being interviewed by Craig Charles after A-Kill's loss to Panic Attack in Series 6.
- Both of Mega Hurts' robot combat losses involved a robot that would fight each other in the first round of the semi-finals in Series 7.
- Most Original Entry - Robot Wars: The Second Wars