- "Ah, at last: Robot Wars enters the computer age!"
- — Jonathan Pearce in Series 6
Mega Hurts was a robot which debuted in Series 2, and then fought in Series 6 and 7. Despite entering four series, the Mega Hurts team never made it past the heats, or even reached a Heat Final. The team also entered Series 3 with Tut's Revenge.
Mega Hurts in all three of its appearances entered with a different incarnation but every robot was computer-themed.
Versions of Mega Hurts
Weighing 71.8kg, Mega Hurts was a yellow box shaped robot based on a desktop computer. It was powered by two 12 Volt batteries and four drive motors, salvaged from Ford Fiesta windscreen wipers. For weaponry, it was equipped with a lifting plate, designed to look like a computer keyboard, referred to on the show as a 'keyboard disguised lift'. It featured a rear hacksaw and chisel which could move vertically, and a mouse mascot, and the robot even featured a moving disc drive. The weaponry was powered by 3 windscreen wiper motors. The monitor contained the robot's receiver. However, Mega Hurts was slow at only 4mph. It had four wheels, which curiously were located in the middle, despite the robots rectangular shape. It had a high ground clearance of 40mm, but according to Jonathan Pearce, the robot could wedge itself into the arena floor.
- "It's powered by two 12 Volt motors, so at times we can actually go into 24 Volts to give it the extra speed and extra power."
- — Dave Lund
Mega Hurts 2
- "The robot has lots of bits from old computers, like the monitor on top and the keyboard. It dosen't matter too much if these bits get damaged, and we hope the other bots will go for these and leave the more important parts of Mega Hurts 2 alone!"
- — The Mega Hurts team in Robot Wars: The Official Magazine
The team returned for Series 6 with Mega Hurts 2, weighing 100kg. Its lifter was now more powerful, and quicker in operation, positioned at an angle instead of directly lifting upwards. The rear of the robot was protected by a static spear. Mega Hurts 2 used innovative side axes, powered by an automatic infrared system to fire the axes whenever another robot came within six inches of Mega Hurts 2, making the robot one of the few to use autonomous weaponry. The side of the robot had warning stripe skirts to prevent robots getting underneath, and the monitor on top now featured an angry face. This version was faster than the original, with a top speed of 10 mph, and was powered by two 750 Watt motors. Despite being a box shape, Mega Hurts 2 only had two small wheels at the front, with two casters at the back.
Mega Hurts LT
- "The keyboard to CO2 full pressure flipper so is the screen which also acts as a srimech. Steel construction, polycarb and protection. Looks good, until we turn up the heat."
- — Jonathan Pearce
Mega Hurts LT appeared in Series 7, the initials in the name standing for 'laptop'. It was lighter than its predecessor by 9kg. The robot now had a much more low-profile shape, constructed from polycarbonate with a steel chassis. All three sides of the robot were protected by static spikes, aside from the front, which featured a brand new double-flipper system. Unlike previous versions, the monitor was now a front-hinged flipper, whereas it had previously only been decoration. The keyboard flipped upwards, while the monitor flipped forwards, the team boasting that the combination of the two could flip another robot out of the arena. Mega Hurts LT was also the first machine from the team that could self-right, although it still struggled to do so when low on gas. Like Mega Hurts 2, Mega Hurts LT only had two wheels despite being a rectangular shape. The robot was powered by two 750 Watt motors, and was the fastest version of the robot, with the top speed increased to 12mph. However, the robot had a high ground clearance, which St. Agro took advantage of in its only televised battle.
The name Mega Hurts is a pun based on the frequency megahertz, a concept also used by competitors Killerhurtz and Terrorhurtz. In particular, Mega Hurts references the use of megahertz when describing storage in computers. The Series 7 entry, Mega Hurts LT, stood for "Mega Hurts Lap Top" in full.
Mega Hurts qualified for Series 2 after a successful auditioning process, and subsequently entered Series 3 with Tut's Revenge. The team are not known to have attempted qualification for Series 4.
Mega Hurts was intended to make its return in Series 5, and featured a radio modem between two computers instead of the traditional RC system. Mega Hurts attended the Manchester event of the Robot Wars Live tour, and fought The Stag in one of its qualifier battles.
- "A very technical team who have been on the TV show a few times."
- — The Stag website on the Mega Hurts team
Mega Hurts lost the battle after its sides were scratched and dented by its opponent's pincers, with Mega Hurts' name stickers also being removed. As a result, Mega Hurts would not compete in the Fifth Wars.
By attending the live qualification tour, Mega Hurts 2 was able to successfully qualify for Series 6, while Mega Hurts LT also qualified for Series 7.
Mega Hurts was entered into Robot Wars by a team from Preston in Lancashire, captained by Dave Lund, who was joined by his brother Tony Lund in all of the robot's appearances. Teammate Gordon Keeling, a friend of Dave and Tony's, was also present in both Series 2 and 6, but was absent in the Seventh Wars. The team also competed in Series 3 with Tut's Revenge, with the same lineup of three.
- "Dave Lund is the driver, Tony Lund is at the control of the weapons, and Gordon Keeling supports."
- — Jonathan Pearce describes the Mega Hurts team before the Round 2 battle in Series 6
- "How much megabyte from this PC-shaped bot? The keyboard goes up and down, but don't typecast this as a brain-drain boffin without some bit! ... Forget roms, Craig, this one can ram!"
- — Jonathan Pearce introduces Mega Hurts
Mega Hurts fought in Heat K of the Second Wars for its first Robot Wars appearance.
- "Tony Lund's greatest ambition in life is to meet Phillipa Forrester! Now, how ambitious is Mega Hurts?"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Mega Hurts begins its Gauntlet run
In the Gauntlet stage, Mega Hurts took the ramrig route, but as it was about half way through the ramrig, it nearly drove into one of the sides, and when it turned to avoid the saw, it drove into the closing side. Mega Hurts tried to line itself up, but this proved difficult with the ramrig closing, and Mega Hurts was stuck, with Sergeant Bash ready to block the exit.
- "...going against the angle grinders, and the ramrig, and squeezed in, a suicidal route it would seem, from Mega Hurts! And it is hurting!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Mega Hurts is trapped in the ramrig
However, eventually Sergeant Bash turned away and the ramrig opened, allowing Mega Hurts to get through. Mega Hurts drove around the pendulum, but as it drove over the flame pit, Sir Killalot blocked its path. Mega Hurts turned and drove over the flame pit, but Sir Killalot pinned it against the wall. However, Sir Killalot reversed, allowing Mega Hurts to reach end zone.
- Dave Lund: "We thought we were going to get barbecued, and we got away with it!"
- Craig Charles: "Well I thought the little mouse was going to be the first one to go, but he got away with it too!"
- Tony Lund: "Well we put the mouse on so the robots would keep off it, 'cause they thought we were pet friendly!"
- — Post-Gauntlet interview
This put it second out of six on the leaderboard, more than enough to put it through to the trial stage of the Heat, which was King of the Castle.
- Craig Charles: "Well, you're through to the end zone, are you confident about the next round?"
- Gordon Keeling: "Er, yes. Very!"
- Craig Charles: "Give them a round of applause! Let's hope their confidence is not misplaced!"
- — Post-Gauntlet interview
After Plunderbird 2's run, the Mega Hurts team called the Plunderbird team chickens for driving into the Pit of Oblivion on purpose, and led a chorus of chicken noises in the pits, which was copied by several other roboteers.
- Philippa Forrester: "Why do you think they're chickens?"
- Tony Lund: "Because they dived in the pit straight away! They're the big tough men, and they chickened out!"
- — In the pits after Plunderbird's Gauntlet run
However, this turned to look premature for Mega Hurts in the King of the Castle Trial.
- "71.6 kilos, is this heavy enough to hold on against Sergeant Bash..."
- — Jonathan Pearce at the start of Mega Hurts' King of the Castle run
Mega Hurts spun on the spot with its weapons raised as the House Robots took a slow approach up the ramps. Sergeant Bash drove into the back of it, whilst Dead Metal got at the other side and grabbed it with his pincers, then reversed, closed the pincers and pushed Mega Hurts. This pushed Mega Hurts free of Sergeant Bash, and it turned around and drove away from the House Robots, with Dead Metal following it, but Mega Hurts drove too far, driving to the edge of the ring, where it precariously balanced on the side, unable to get back. Dead Metal and Sergeant Bash got in position and pushed Mega Hurts off, with both House Robots falling off as well
- "That's suicide, That is suicide! You're going, you're going, you're gone!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Mega Hurts is pushed off the ring in the Trial
As Mega Hurts fell off the ring first, it still counted as a defeat although both House Robots went off. Having lasted 22.20 seconds, Mega Hurts was left last on the leader board, and needed Plunderbird 2 to perform worse to stay in. Unfortunately for them, Plunderbird 2 managed to defeat both Dead Metal and Sergeant Bash, leaving Mega Hurts last and eliminating it.
At the end of the series, Mega Hurts was nominated for the Most Original Entry Award but lost out to Milly-Ann Bug.
The Mega Hurts team returned to the sixth series of Robot Wars after a long interval away from the show, this time returning with an improved machine in Mega Hurts 2. In Heat B of the competition, Mega Hurts 2 was placed up against the number three seeds Firestorm 4, and two fellow Lancashire representatives in Colossus and Cedric Slammer in the first round melee.
- "Plenty of "ram" from the twenty-four volt motor, loads of "mega-byte" from the flipper, axe and spikes, but "monitor" this lightweight armour closely and you'll see this computer-bot could "crash" easily!"
- — Jonathan Pearce sums up Mega Hurts 2 with a lot of computer puns
At the start of the battle, Mega Hurts 2 drove towards Firestorm 4, but turned away from it and Firestorm 4 drove away across the arena to attack Cedric Slammer. Whilst Firestorm 4 flipped Cedric Slammer over, Colossus drove over to attack Mega Hurts 2. As Colossus reversed at Mega Hurts 2, Mega Hurts 2 tried to get its flipper underneath, but Colossus reversed over the flipper before Mega Hurts 2 could flip. Colossus tried to get under Mega Hurts 2, but couldn't get under the side, and missed with the flipper. Mega Hurts 2 got its flipper under the front of Colossus and pushed, but Colossus reversed. Mega Hurts 2 and Colossus continued to try and get under the other and flip whilst Firestorm 4 prevented Cedric Slammer from self-righting. Mega Hurts 2 tried to get its flipper under the side of Colossus as it reversed past, but Colossus reversed too fast. Colossus got its flipper under the front corner of Mega Hurts 2 and flipped, but could only lift it a little. Colossus drove down the arena and opened the pit, and as Mega Hurts 2 drove after it, Firestorm 4 left Cedric Slammer to drive after Colossus. Mega Hurts 2 held back as Firestorm 4 got under Colossus and flipped it over into an empty CPZ at the bottom of the arena. Colossus tried to self-right, but its flipper couldn't stretch far enough. Firestorm 4 turned away and charged under the side of Mega Hurts 2, throwing the robot over.
- "Firestorm looking pretty impressive so far, now they've gone after Mega Hurts!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Firestorm 4 flips Mega Hurts over
Mega Hurts 2 landed on its monitor, breaking the screen. With Mega Hurts 2 unable to self-right, Firestorm 4 pushed it down the arena and into the pit.
- "Mega Hurts meanwhile, on the edge of the pit! Firestorm pushes them in, to what would normally be a pit of doom, gloom and despondency, I'm not too sure, I think Mega Hurts might be allowed to carry on!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Firestorm pits Mega Hurts 2
Not long afterwards, Firestorm 4 drove straight into the pit whilst chasing Cedric Slammer, which had been righted, but as Mega Hurts 2 and Firestorm 4 were the last two robots to be immobilised, they were both put through to the next round of the heat by the judges.
In the second round, Mega Hurts 2 was drawn up against the experienced X-Terminator machine. Marlon Pritchard of the X-Terminator team was keen to win this battle due to his troubles in operating computers.
- Philippa Forrester: "Mega Hurts, now as good as new. Show me the before"
- Team Mega Hurts: "Here it is, our starter kit."
- Philippa Forrester: "That's after Round 1, this is going into Round 2, so remember what it looks like now, because you're up against...the nasty X-Terminator. And you have a grudge against computers, don't you?"
- Marlon Pritchard: "Yeah, computers have messed me around all my life, so we've made sure the axe is extra sharp for this one."
- — Mega Hurts 2 is threatened by Team X-Terminator
X-Terminator charged across the arena at Mega Hurts 2, which fired its flipper as X-Terminator collided with it, and the impact sent X-Terminator spinning away. X-Terminator quickly recovered, reversing and driving past Mega Hurts 2. Mega Hurts 2 turned around, but drove onto the flame pit as it did so. It quickly got off, but when it tried to line up an attack, it overturned, then overturned again when trying to correct its mistake. This delay allowed X-Terminator to get under the front of Mega Hurts 2. X-Terminator reversed for another charge, and when Mega Hurts 2 turned, exposing its side, X-Terminator charged at it and rammed it onto the flame pit. As Mega Hurts 2 turned off the flames, X-Terminator hit the monitor with its axe, hitting the front and ripping it clean off. Mega Hurts 2 turned around, and as X-Terminator drove at it, it got the flipper under the front of X-Terminator, lifting it up.
- "Did you see Mega Hurts there, getting the flipper in underneath X-Terminator. And they're not too bothered about that superficial damage."
- — Jonathan Pearce as Mega Hurts lifts X-Terminator
Mega Hurts 2 got off the flame pit, but X-Terminator soon got off the flipper. X-Terminator 2 got at the side of Mega Hurts 2 and pushed, firing the axe, which landed onto the monitor then slid onto the body, doing no damage. X-Terminator pushed Mega Hurts 2 into the CPZ, but as it tried to reverse out, Growler rammed into it, slamming it against the arena wall. X-Terminator managed to reversed away, and Mega Hurts 2 was cornered by the House Robot, which pinned it into the corner and grabbed the body in his jaws. Growler pulled Mega Hurts 2 out of the CPZ, and pushed it up the arena and span it around, throwing it aside. Mega Hurts 2 drove at X-Terminator, but couldn't get under the front, so turned around to try again. Mega Hurts 2 got its flipper under the front of X-Terminator, but only lifted the front scoop. X-Terminator fired the axe but narrowly missed. The two competitors turned around, and X-Terminator got under the front corner of Mega Hurts 2 and pushed it back, but Mega Hurts 2 reversed.
- "If Mega Hurts 2 has a hope here, I think they have to flip X-Terminator. We know it doesn't like flipping its lid. And that's exactly what its trying to do!"
- — Jonathan Pearce
X-Terminator 2 reversed, and Mega Hurts 2 drove at it, getting its flipper underneath, lifting X-Terminator up and pushing X-Terminator into a CPZ at the bottom of the arena. Mega Hurts 2 pinned its opponent there, but then Mr. Psycho came over. Both competitors escaped the CPZ in different directions, with X-Terminator driving up the arena, and Mega Hurts 2 driving to the pit release button, which it opened. X-Terminator drove back at Mega Hurts 2, and Mega Hurts 2 got under it with its flipper again, lifting it and pushing it into an empty CPZ. Mega Hurts 2 reversed out of the CPZ, but as X-Terminator tried to get away, Growler rammed into it.
- "...who's on top here? X-Terminator to me, has suddenly been bashed and smashed, and hopes crushed!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Growler rams into X-Terminator
X-Terminator got away, and chased Mega Hurts 2 up the arena, eventually catching up with it and pushing it into one of the top CPZs. X-Terminator got out of the CPZ as Mr. Psycho came over, but Mega Hurts 2 was too slow, and Mr. Psycho drove into it as it left the CPZ, hitting it with its hammer, which broke some pieces off the monitor but did not appear to damage Mega Hurts 2.
- "Down came that huge club! 30 kilos in weight, travelling at 60 miles an hour, and still Mega Hurts 2 survived! That's the power of these robots in this series!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Mega Hurts survives the hammer blow
X-Terminator charged at Mega Hurts 2 and fired the axe, but it had lost its axe-head, so could not damage, though it did rip the monitor. X-Terminator pushed Mega Hurts 2 back into Mr. Psycho, who landed another hammer blow, and pinned Mega Hurts 2 down with his claw as time ran out. The battle went to the judges, but the judges' decision went in favour of X-Terminator, eliminating Mega Hurts 2 from the competition.
- Craig Charles: "Disappointed?"
- Dave Lund: "Not really, we got better than what we expected. We're only here for the fun and enjoyment, so hopefully we did better than what we expected!"
- — In the post-battle interview
After the battle, it was revealed that the axe head of X-Terminator had broken off in Mega Hurts 2, and it was presented to the team by Craig Charles in the post-battle interview.
- "Fighting in their fourth wars. Trouble is, they've never been out of the heats."
- — Jonathan Pearce
In Heat H of the Seventh Wars, Mega Hurts LT was drawn up against two fellow veterans, the Cornish machine St. Agro and New Blood competitors Revolution 3 as well as newcomers The Scrapper in its first round melee.
- Jayne Middlemiss: "Started in Series 2, it's now War 7."
- Tony Lund: "We're getting old!"
- — Pre-first round interview
At the start of the battle, St. Agro drove at Mega Hurts LT, getting its flipper under the front of Mega Hurts LT, but the flipper was only under Mega Hurts LT's flipper, so when it fired, it merely lifted the flipper up. Both robots reversed, but before Mega Hurts LT could get away, St. Agro rushed around the back, getting the flipper under one of the corners and fired the flipper. Mega Hurts LT went up on its side, but fell back on its wheels.
- "I'm intrigued by Mega Hurts LT, the LT for lap top. Intrigued to see if it can do better, not on the evidence of that! That was a mighty blow from St. Agro!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as St. Agro flips Mega Hurts LT
As it landed, The Scrapper rushed in between St. Agro and Mega Hurts LT, hitting the side of Mega Hurts LT with its disc, but doing no damage. As Mega Hurts LT drove forwards, The Scrapper chased after it, landing a glancing blow, and Mega Hurts LT turned around and drove away from The Scrapper. Revolution 3 drove between Mega Hurts LT and The Scrapper, hitting The Scrapper with its drum, whilst Mega Hurts LT appeared to stop. St. Agro drove around the other two competitors and rushed under Mega Hurts LT and flipped it over. Mega Hurts LT tried to self-right, but couldn't get over the front flipper, then tried again and flipped itself back over. Mega Hurts LT drove forwards, firing its flipper at random. St. Agro tried to get under Mega Hurts LT, so Mega Hurts LT reversed. Suddenly, Revolution 3 drove at Mega Hurts LT, ramming into its side and pushing it over a flame jet. Mega Hurts LT appeared to stop again.
- "Revolution 3 looks nippy and aggressive. Mega Hurts, to be honest, looks in a bit of trouble."
- — Jonathan Pearce
and the other competitors left it, but Mega Hurts LT soon started moving again. Revolution 3 rammed into its back, whilst St. Agro flipped The Scrapper out of the arena. Mega Hurts LT stopped moving again, and Revolution 3 rammed it, and St. Agro drove up the arena, getting its flipper under the front and pushing it into one of the top CPZs and flipping it against the wall, but Mega Hurts LT fell back on its wheels. St. Agro tried to get away as Growler and Dead Metal came in, but the House Robots blocked its escape, with Dead Metal driving onto the flipper. St. Agro was able to lift Dead Metal with its flipper and escape the CPZ, whilst Growler grabbed Mega Hurts LT in its jaw, pulled it out of the CPZ and span it around, throwing it into the wall.
- "The Mega Hurts Lap Top has crashed and it can't evade Growler. Suffering from some sort of virus perhaps, and Growler hardly a mouse out there in the war zone!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as Mega Hurts LT is in peril from Growler
Mega Hurts LT was still not moving, and St. Agro got under it and flipped it against the arena wall. Mega Hurts LT's wheels were still very slowly spinning, but it could not right itself. Revolution 3 had also stopped moving, but because Mega Hurts LT had stopped moving first, Refbot counted it out. Growler grabbed it in his jaws again, taking it up the arena, where he span it around, then put it on the floor flipper, which threw it across the arena. Mega Hurts LT landed on its side and Dead Metal pushed it against the pit release button. Dead Metal pulled Mega Hurts onto its top, and Growler bit into it again, and took it to the pit and dropped it in.
- "Anyone who owns a laptop would be grimacing at this moment in time, with the screen and the keyboard. But it all got locked up. The memory was lost. And as for a byte, there's a mega bite...from Growler, back in the old laptop case."
- — Jonathan Pearce as Mega Hurts LT gets finished off by Growler
'Cease' was then called and Mega Hurts LT was eliminated from the competition along with The Scrapper. The Mega Hurts team then retired after this.
|MEGA HURTS - RESULTS|
|The Second Wars - UK Championship|
|Heat K, Gauntlet||Completed (2nd)||Qualified|
|Heat K, Trial (King of the Castle)||22.20 Seconds (5th)||Eliminated|
|MEGA HURTS 2 - RESULTS|
|The Sixth Wars - UK Championship|
Heat, Round 2
|Heat B, Round 1||vs. Cedric Slammer, Colossus, Firestorm 4 (3)||Qualified|
|Heat B, Round 2||vs. X-Terminator||Lost|
|MEGA HURTS LT - RESULTS|
|The Seventh Wars - UK Championship|
Heat, Round 1
|Heat H, Round 1||vs. Revolution 3, St. Agro, The Scrapper||Eliminated|
- Wins: 1
- Losses: 2
NOTE: Mega Hurts' Gauntlet and Trial runs are not included
|Series||Mega Hurts Series Record|
|The First Wars||Did not enter|
|The Second Wars||Heat, Trial|
|The Third Wars||Entered with Tut's Revenge|
|The Fourth Wars||Did not enter|
|The Fifth Wars||Failed to qualify|
|The Sixth Wars||Heat, Round 2|
|The Seventh Wars||Heat, Round 1|
|Series 8||Did not enter|
|Series 9||Did not enter|
|Series 10||Did not enter|
- On entrance to the arena for its Series 7 battle, the Robot Wars announcer Stuart McDonald introduced Mega Hurts LT as Mega Hurts Limited, believing that the LT in the name stood for Limited, rather than Laptop.
- Mega Hurts LT was one of seven robots from a team that had previously fought in three wars that went out in the first round of the Seventh Wars, the others being Aggrobot, Velocirippa, Metalis, Black and Blue, Major Tom 3 and Shredder Evolution.
- In both Mega Hurts' first and last appearances, it was the last robot to be introduced in the heat.
- Both of Mega Hurts' losses in Series 6 and 7 involved it being spun round by Growler.
- Throughout the series that it appeared in, Mega Hurts never shared the arena with Cassius Chrome or Shunt.
- All three of Mega Hurts' domestic championship battles involved a former or eventual semi-finalist, with St. Agro being the only one not to reach a Grand Final.
- Both times the Mega Hurts team were in the same heat as Team Death, they appeared in Heat H and both fell in the first round.
- The Scrapper was the only robot Mega Hurts fought not to appear in another series.
- Chris Delph of Team A-Kill accidentally referred to Terrorhurtz as Mega Hurts while being interviewed by Craig Charles after A-Kill's loss to Panic Attack in Series 6.
- The two robots that defeated Mega Hurts in its combat losses, X-Terminator and St. Agro, would fight each other in the first round of the Semi-Finals in Series 7.
- Most Original Entry - Robot Wars: The Second Wars