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Heat J of Robot Wars: The Fifth Wars was the tenth of twelve heats which determined the Semi-Finalists of Robot Wars: The Fifth Wars. The episode featuring Heat J was originally broadcast on May 17, 2002 on BBC Choice and repeated on September 13, 2002 on BBC Two. This episode was repeated on the 19th February 2016 on Sky 2.

Competing RobotsEdit

NewcomersEdit

Barber-ous
Barber-Ous
Weight 93kg
Dimensions 0.8 x 1.03 x 0.46m
Power 24V electric motors
Weapons Barbed rotating drum
Strengths Invertible
Weaknesses First time competitors
From: Horsham
Team Members: Simon Rafferty, Christopher Watts & Guy Radford
Kliptonite
Kliptonite
Weight 100kg
Dimensions 1.12 x 0.72 x 0.86m
Power 36V DC motors
Weapons Pneumatic axe
Strengths Plasma welded shell
Weaknesses Inexperience
From: East Farleigh
Team Members: Michael Edwards, Nathan Crawley & Graham Huish
Monad
Monad
Weight 100kg
Dimensions 1.22 x 0.78 x 0.54m
Power 50CC petrol engine
Weapons Hydraulic crushing claw
Strengths Robust design
Weaknesses High ground clearance
From: Dublin
Team Members: Bernard Karstel, Andrew Karstel & Sean Meyler

VeteransEdit

Kat 3
Kat 3
Weight 100kg
Dimensions 1.17 x 0.83 x 0.78m
Power 2 x 800W electric motors
Weapons Pneumatic axe
Strengths Girl power
Weaknesses No self-righting mechanism
From: Addlestone
Team Members: Keith Williams, Georje Reed & Julie-Ann Williams
Major Tom
Major Tom
Weight 90kg
Dimensions 1.03 x 0.94 x 0.87m
Power 12V golf caddy motors
Weapons Vertical flywheel
Strengths Patriotism
Weaknesses Poor armour
From: the Isle of Sheppey
Team Members: Henry Ryan, John Morris & Arthur Robinson
MiniMorg
Mini Morg (seeded 19th)
Weight 100kg
Dimensions 1.13 x 0.72 x 0.70m
Power 2 x 12V electric motors
Weapons Pneumatic axe and lifter
Strengths Self-righting ability
Weaknesses Unreliable
From: Penclawdd
Team Members: Dylan Jenkins, Mark Hooper & Dorian Caudy
Panic Attack
Panic Attack (seeded 6th)
Weight 98kg
Dimensions 1.00 x 0.97 x 0.37m
Power 2 x Wiper motors
Weapons Lifting forks
Strengths Experienced driver
Weaknesses Limited weaponry
From: Thornhill
Team Members: Kim Davies & Michael Davies
Tiberius2
Tiberius 2
Weight 100kg
Dimensions 1.18 x 0.93 x 0.68m
Power 2 x 750W electric motors
Weapons Hydraulic ram
Strengths Powerful weapon
Weaknesses Slow & sluggish
From: Hove
Team Members: Sam Smith & Stuart Smith

EliminatorsEdit

Mini Morg (19) vs Kat 3Edit

Mini Morg vs Kat 3

Mini Morg uses its axe on the pushing Kat 3

Kat 3 vs Mini Morg

Both robots trade axe blows

Both robots started the fight tentatively moving around the other - with no meaningful attacks carried out. However, after the first swing of its axe, Kat 3 curiously remained static for a few seconds. It started moving again shortly after, but still had problems with its axe - with the weapon hanging awkwardly in a fired position. Kat 3 came onto the offensive again though, and carried out a ram to the side of Ming Morg. The 19th seed responded to Kat 3's next push by using its rear axe. This caused minor damage to the shell of Kat 3 - penetrating it with a small hole. Despite making small inroads on Kat 3's armour, Mini Morg started to have mobility issues itself. This allowed Kat 3 to angle Mini Morg towards the arena flame jet.

"Kat 3 comes in to see if Mini Morg is the weakest link."
— Jonathan Pearce makes reference to the picture of Anne Robinson on the front of the Mini Morg machine
Mini Morg Kat 3 1

Mini Morg comes under pressure from Kat 3 and Sir Killalot

MiniMorgKat3S5

Kat 3 pushes Mini Morg into the pit

After this, both machines resorted to using their axe weapons. Neither made any notable impact on the opponent, but Kat 3 ended the exchange between the two machines the stronger, as it caught Mini Morg side on and drove it into the arena wall. Boxed in, Mini Morg was put under pressure by both Kat 3 and its axe, as well as Sir Killalot - which attempted in vain to lift it up. Mini Morg evaded further danger by accelerating across the arena floor, but Kat 3 was still on its tail, and attempted to keep the pressure on Mini Morg by pressing the Pit Release Tyre. After activating the arena hazard, Kat 3 was successful in smothering the Welsh machine further, as it quickly positioned itself and then pushed Mini Morg down into the Pit. The 19th seed was out, and Kat 3 progressed to Round 2.

"And Mini Morg goes into the pit, and the kittens jump about with glee."
— Jonathan Pearce

Winner: Kat 3

Monad vs Tiberius 2Edit

TiberiusMonad

Tiberius 2 pierces Monad

Monad Tiberius 2 1

Monad presses Tiberius 2 into the CPZ

Monad attempted to be aggressive right from activate, with a drive to the side of Tiberius 2, before pushing its opponent into Sergeant Bash's CPZ. After both competing robots moved away from the House Robot, a part of Monad's top armour began to flap. Monad attempted to move into space, but wheelied aggressively, and was then caught side-on by Tiberius 2. When Tiberius 2 pressed its crushing arm through the already-ajar armour panel of Monad, it plunged down into the Irish machine's internals.

"Tiberius has got inside, and at the moment, is well on top."
— Jonathan Pearce as Tiberius 2 crumples Monad's armour
Tiberius 2 Monad 1

Monad, with its front jaws buckled

Tiberius 2 vs Monad

Tiberius 2 pushes Monad towards the pit

Tiberius 2 then crashed Monad into the arena wall, which dislodged the front pincers of its opponent. Monad then drove at Tiberius 2 after the later bumped itself into the arena wall, but Monad was unable to move Tiberius 2 around. After this, Monad resorted to charging towards the Pit Release Tyre. It was unable to activate it on its first attempt with Tiberius 2 hassling it, but did press the tyre at the second time of asking. However, after skirting near the Pit, Monad ended up breaking down. This allowed Tiberius 2 another chance to bring its crushing beak into play, before it slowly released Monad and dropped it down into the Pit.

"Tiberius, came, saw, and conquered."
— Jonathan Pearce as Tiberius 2 pits Monad

Winner: Tiberius 2

Kliptonite vs Major TomEdit

Kliptonite vs Major Tom

Kliptonite brings its axe down on Major Tom

Major Tom vs Kliptonite

Kliptonite sustains damage from Major Tom

This first round battle was between two robots from the Isle of Sheppey: newcomer Kliptonite and veteran Major Tom. Kliptonite attempted to carry out a quick axe attack, but only hit the arena floor with its swing, and was attacked by Major Tom's spinning weapon as a result. Kliptonite responded briskly, with a ram and an axe attack, but after another set of mistimed axe attacks and spinner hits from Major Tom, Kliptonite came to a stop.

"Kliptonite, not strong enough to survive. Apprentices, you have to learn to get your engineering qualifications and bring back a stronger robot next time."
— Jonathan Pearce
Kliptonite out

Kliptonite is counted out

Kliptonite Matilda

Matilda shatters the back-end of Kliptonite

Major Tom continued to ram into Kliptonite until Refbot counted it out, before Matilda came in to damage the beaten machine. The House Robot did exactly that, with some hefty attacks to the side of Kliptonite. After Matilda had sheared Kliptonite's stainless-steel armour from its roots, Sir Killalot took over. He crumpled into Kliptonite and hurled it into the distance following a demonstration of his signature sit-and-spin manoeuvre.

"The House robots, Sir Killalot and Matilda, to punish Kliptonite for bringing in a sub-standard machine! Bring in a heap of junk, and we'll turn it into proper rubbish, says Killalot!"
— Jonathan Pearce, as the House Robots demolish Kliptonite
Kliptonite Sir Killalot

Kliptonite is held over the Flame Pit

Kliptonitekillalot

A ruined Kliptonite is pitted by Sir Killalot

Kliptonite was still subjected to further punishment after this, as another bump from Major Tom was followed up by Sir Killalot holding Kliptonite in place for Matilda to wreck havoc on Kliptonite's rear defences. Kliptonite was then held over the Flame Pit, before one of its side panels dropped off completely. Finally, Sir Killalot pitted Kliptonite - leaving it battered, and eliminated from The Fifth Wars.

Winner: Major Tom

Panic Attack (6) vs Barber-OusEdit

Panic Attack vs Barber-Ous

Panic Attack grips Barber-Ous' axle

Panic Attack Barber-Ous 1

Barber-Ous violently spins up off of Panic Attack - causing damage to its skirts

At the start of the fight, Panic Attack played things tactically - backing into space before sliding under one of Barber-Ous' yellow axles. The two machines then curiously became entangled, as part of Barber-Ous' support frame for its front wheels got caught up in Panic Attack's forks. The machines separated after Panic Attack lowered its forks. Panic Attack attempted to come onto the attack straight after, but the two drives it carried out ended up damaging Panic Attack itself - with Barber-Ous' rotating-drum body visibly warping Panic Attack's armour as it rode over the top of the Series 2 champion. Barber-Ous continued to crash into Panic Attack - causing damage and then deflecting away, but at this stage it was clear that Barber-Ous had lost drive on one side. To compound matters for the newcomer, one more Panic Attack drive saw the now-torn Barber-Ous drum stop.

"And has the drum ceased? Well it's ripped. The weaponry has stopped of Barber-Ous."
— Jonathan Pearce
Barber-Ous vs Panic Attack

Barber-Ous' drum comes to a halt

Panicattackbarberous

Barber-Ous is pitted

Panic Attack used this as a chance to edge Barber-Ous around, with the latter opting to swing into the Pit Release Tyre. Barber-Ous was unable to move away from here though. Panic Attack, with its srimech raised, then slipped Barber-Ous into Sergeant Bash. The House Robot crumpled down onto one of Barber-Ous' axles, peeling back the top armour. After this, Panic Attack slid Barber-Ous towards the Pit of Oblivion, before repositioning and nudging its opponent down to defeat.

"Barber-Ous gets a pudding cut, Panic Attack go through!"
— Craig Charles

Winner: Panic Attack

Semi-FinalsEdit

Kat 3 vs Major TomEdit

Philippa Forrester: "This lot have had time to do their nails with the cat design, darling! So you obviously haven't had much to do between bouts!"
Keith Williams: "No, we've been fine! We're just about there, I think. 50/50 chance, we've got the other 50 that [Major Tom] had"
Philippa Forrester: "Of course when they get in there, they'll be so aggressive, they won't recognise themselves!"
— Each team rates their chances at 50/50
Kat 3 Major Tom 1

Major Tom - with damage to its top - comes in with a slam on Kat 3

Kat 3 vs Major Tom

Kat 3's axe breaks through the bumper car

Both machines started driving towards each other after activate was sounded, but Kat 3 tried to outfox Major Tom by driving to the side. Kat 3 swung around again though which allowed Major Tom to bump into Kat 3 side on. Kat 3 responded by driving into Major Tom head on, but the axe attack it attempted afterwards was inaccurate. After another wild swing of its axe onto the arena floor, Kat 3 then connected with the next couple of attacks with its weapon. Major Tom came out of these attacks with damage to the top and back of its shell, but replied with an aggressive slam on a rather-static Kat 3.

"That axe of Kat 3 swishing down like an old cat of nine tails but without the brutal effect."
— Jonathan Pearce
Major Tom Kat 3 1

Major Tom splits the rear of Kat 3

Majortompit

Major Tom reverses into the pit

After this, Kat 3 went off to activate the Pit Release Tyre. It did this, but closely following it was Major Tom - which cracked Kat 3's back armour with a hit from its spinner. Despite its good attack, Major Tom's fortunes quickly turned for the worse. After completing its attack, Major Tom backed away. Unfortunately for it, Major Tom's reverse came just as the Pit siren sounded. This meant that Major Tom moved over the Pit just as it was about to go down. As a result, Major Tom went down right as the Pit did - slowly lowering it to elimination, and sending Kat 3 through to the Heat J Final.

"The pit release button has been pressed-OH NO!! Major T-can you hear me, Major Tom!? Can you hear me!? What a dreadful piece of driving!"
— Jonathan Pearce on Major Tom's exit

Winner: Kat 3

Panic Attack (6) vs Tiberius 2Edit

Tiberius 2 vs panic attack

Panic Attack raises Tiberius 2

Panic Attack Tiberius 2

Tiberius 2 brings its crushing arm into play

Panic Attack slid into gear very quickly, as it immediately got past the protruding front wedge of Tiberius 2 and lifted it up by its side. Panic Attack edged itself backwards and forwards in an attempt to hook onto an exposed part of Tiberius 2, but was unable to, which allowed Sam Smith's machine to drop down and move away. Tiberius 2 responded well: spinning and then getting its crushing beak into the housing of Panic Attack's lifting forks. Tiberius 2 then backed Panic Attack against an angle grinder, before Kim Davies' machine scuttled. Then, a short period of manoeuvring took place, which ended with Panic Attack prising itself under the front of Tiberius 2. Panic Attack proceeded to roast Tiberius 2 over the Flame Pit, before swinging around and pressing Tiberius 2 into the CPZ - allowing Dead Metal and Shunt the chance to come in and attack.

"Little bit a lack of experience maybe?"
— Jonathan Pearce as Tiberius is put on the back foot and near the House Robots
Panic attack vs tiberius 2

Panic Attack carries Tiberius 2 over the flame pit

Panic Attack vs Tiberius 2

Panic Attack drops Tiberius 2 into the pit

Despite the House Robots helping Panic Attack out, Kim Davies' machine decided to attack Shunt - lifting it up slightly. Nevertheless, both Shunt and Tiberius 2 remained locked together until Shunt knocked Tiberius 2 onto Panic Attack. This worked out well for the number 6 seed, as the slot underneath Tiberius 2's front wedge was what ended up on top of Panic Attack's lifting forks. This allowed Panic Attack space to hook Tiberius 2, and to drag it around the arena. After a period of doing this, Panic Attack pressed the Pit Release Tyre. Panic Attack then arched around the Pit and dangled Tiberius 2 over it. This unbalanced Panic Attack, but didn't prevent Panic Attack from pushing its lifting forks back out and dumping Tiberius 2 down into the Pit. Panic Attack was through to its fourth consecutive Heat Final, where it would face Kat 3.

Winner: Panic Attack

FinalEdit

Panic Attack (6) vs Kat 3Edit

Panic Attack vs Kat 3

Panic Attack and Kat 3 fail to separate

Kat 3 vs Panic Attack

Kat 3 axes the dominant Panic Attack

Very early on, Panic Attack got its lifting forks underneath Kat 3. Panic Attack hooked itself onto the outside of Kat 3's baseplate which gave it sufficient purchase to drag Kat 3 around.

"And for Kat 3 here now, great danger, because I don't think they can get off those prongs. Kim Davies knows exactly what he's doing."
— Jonathan Pearce

Kat 3 desperately flailed away with its axe in an attempt to loosen Panic Attack's grip on it. However, despite consistent hits to the top of Panic Attack, Kat 3 was unable to free itself and remained in Panic Attack's possession. Meanwhile, Panic Attack moved its lifting prongs up and down, putting Kat 3's front panel under stress. Panic Attack then took Kat 3 on a long drive across the arena and slammed it into a CPZ. Kat 3 continued to fight by hitting Panic Attack's srimech panel, but still couldn't wriggle itself free. After Sergeant Bash came across, Panic Attack pushed Kat 3 into the House Robot. Panic Attack continued to buckle Kat 3's front panel with its lifting forks - with the support structure for Kat 3's armour being peeled from its resting place.

"This is all Panic Attack control, here."
— Jonathan Pearce
Panic Attack Kat 3 1

Kat 3's front armour is squeezed out of place

Panicattackkat

Panic Attack defeats Kat 3

After this, Panic Attack pushed the Pit Release Tyre before moving Kat 3 over the Pit of Oblivion. Panic Attack's front moved over the edge of the Pit, but after edging backwards and wiggling its forks up and down, Panic Attack managed to dump Kat 3 down into the Pit. This booked Panic Attack in for its fourth semi-finals appearance in four attempts

Heat Winner: Panic Attack

"I don't know what wiped out the dinosaurs, but robots get wiped, on Robot Wars!"
— Craig Charles' sign-off

Trivia Edit

  • Every battle in this heat ended with the loser being pitted. Therefore, there were no judges' decisions, like in Heat D.
  • Kat 3, Barber-Ous and Team Monad were all drawn in Heat K of the Sixth Wars, as well.
  • All eight teams competed in Series 7, the only one of the 12 Heats to contain eight robots that competed in Series 7. All of them failed to make it past the Heats in Series 7.
  • Jonathan Pearce claimed at the start of the Heat that Panic Attack won Series 3, when it actually won the series before, Series 2. However, he made the correct claim later in the episode.
  • Panic Attack team member Michael Davies wore a Team Raptor cap for the entire heat.
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