- "In a desperate bid to bring peace once again to this sceptred isle, the USS Nimitz today arrived off the coast with a full compliment of F-14 fighters. Now ordinarily, the might of the US Navy's flagship would be no match for the robots on Robot Wars, but tonight, things are a little different. Tonight, it's a lightweight [sic] special, where all the robots weigh less than 12kg. They're small, but don't worry, they're still vicious. So let's go and meet the only machines in the world that are brave enough to spill Prince Naseem's pint!"
- — Jeremy Clarkson introducing the featherweight heat
Heat D of Robot Wars: The First Wars was the fourth of six heats which determined the Grand Finalists of Robot Wars: The First Wars. The episode featuring Heat D was originally broadcast on March 13, 1998 on BBC Two.
|Dimensions||0.70m x 0.55m x 0.40m|
|From: Chesham School|
|Team Members: Michael Stacey, Michael Langdon & Stephen Devereau|
|Dimensions||0.63m x 0.48m x 0.17m|
|Power||Electric drill motors|
|From: University of Reading|
|Team Members: Oliver Steeples|
|Dimensions||0.60m x 0.34m x 0.17m|
|Team Members: Sam Rudgard, Gary Speed-Macey & Bill Rudgard|
|Dimensions||0.63m x 0.34m x 0.22m|
|From: Milton Keynes|
|Team Members: Kevin Church, Matthew Davy & Chris Purchase|
|Dimensions||1.27m x 0.60m x 0.21m|
|Team Members: Tom Barber & Sam Barber|
|Vector of Armageddon|
|Dimensions||0.46m x 0.69m x 0.26m|
|Power||2 x 14.4V motors|
|Team Members: Adam Clark|
Cunning Plan exited the turntable and spun on the spot and bouncing into the fence on the right route. Cunning Plan carefully steered around the maze until the end. Cunning Plan waited for the drills to retract before moving forwards, and driving into the obstacles. Cunning Plan reversed in again, passing one drill and backing onto the springs. Cunning Plan waited for too long, so Matilda drove in hard, forcing Cunning Plan back as the drills tried cutting into it. Matilda spun around, knocking Cunning Plan free where it got lifted by the spikes before being released, where it crossed the line to complete the run.
- Jeremy Clarkson: "Appropriate name, Cunning Plan."
- Oliver Steeples: "Maybe."
- Jeremy Clarkson: "You were looking pretty pleased there."
- Oliver Steeples: "The spikes were a bit tricky, but the robot didn't give me any problems."
- Jeremy Clarkson: "What, the spikes are tricky, but Matilda isn't?"
- — The post match interview.
Krayzee Tokyo whizzed out of the turntable and turned straight into a wall. Krayzee Tokyo backed up and went down the right route, taking the corners slowly but carefully. As Krayzee Tokyo reached the end of the maze, Matilda pushed the springs in front of the drills, blocking that route. Krayzee Tokyo dodged around the drill box, driving into the middle route and moved towards the end. However, it got stuck on the final set of springs, so Matilda was able to ram the block of springs, but got stuck herself. As time ran out, a huge plume of black smoke poured out of the top of Matilda.
SAT'arn reversed out of the turntable and then drove forwards to go down the left route. SAT'arn dodged past Sergeant Bash and drove towards the side of the ramp, getting stuck. SAT'arn reversed out and drove around Matilda, past the pendulum to finish the course.
- Jeremy Clarkson: "I can't believe you beat both of them!"
- Tom Barber: "Brilliant!"
- Jeremy Clarkson: "That was brilliant, well done."
- — The post match interview
The Demolisher chose the left route and passed Sergeant Bash instantly. The Demolisher bumped into Matilda, but was able to drive around the House Robot and wiggled its way to the finish line.(Unseen on television, The Demolisher got flipped over briefly as it ran into Matilda, before it was re-righted and finished the course, thus explaining why it was placed third overall on the leaderboard.)
Bugs reversed out of the turntable, straight into indecision as to which route to pick. Bugs drove forwards, hitting the turntable again, eventually reversing down the left route. Bugs passed Sergeant Bash and carried on to Matilda near the end zone. Bugs was pushed back before impaling itself on the spikes. Matilda parked itself and blocked the end zone, and eventually pushed Bugs back as time ran out.
Vector of ArmageddonEdit
Vector of Armageddon drove out of the turntable and headed towards the first ramp, making its way up and over. As Vector of Armageddon came off the first ramp, it stopped to let the drills come out and drove backwards out of their way. Vector of Armageddon drove to the second ramp, but the low ground clearance beached it on the change in gradient.
|Vector of Armageddon||8.55m|
1995 UK Open Competition FinalEdit
In-between the rounds of the competition, a one-off battle between Thor and The Master was shown, having been filmed at the 1995 UK Robot Wars Open Competition, for which this battle was the Grand Final.
- "We'll revisit the 1995 Robot Wars UK Championships in London, featuring two of the most powerful robots in the world today! The Master, built by Mark Setrakian, and Thor, designed by Shilling Robotics, both from America, and what a night it was!"
- — Jonathan Pearce
The Master initially turned to face Thor using its lifting panel, but Thor made no aggressive movements, and The Master bumped into it, before continuing to circle around Thor. After a sustained period of hostility, The Master made the first move and drove up the surface of Thor, burying its circular saw through the armour of Thor, which could only flail its weapon at no target in defence. The Master's attack also caused Thor to start leaking fluids. The Master withdrew its saw, and bumped into Thor using its left wheel. After Thor retreated, The Master held off until it found the right moment to charge in with its saw, shearing a loose piece of armour from the top of Thor.
- "And there, surely a killing blow! Smashing right to the heart of the hydraulic cabling!"
- — Jonathan Pearce
While Thor pushed back, The Master brought its saw onto the top of it, causing damage while shearing the circular saw in the process, creating a shower of dust. The Master continued to grind away in spite of the damage, cutting into the top of Thor's weapon, and briefly throwing sparks. The Master almost managed to drive up the side of the retreating Thor, but The Master brought what remained of its saw onto the front of Thor, creating a gash, before finally sacrificing the remainder of its saw to cut into a front wheel of Thor. This attack had immobilised Thor, and The Master won the battle.
- "And The Master is surely one of the most powerful robots in the world, and for me, the star of the 1995 UK London Robot Wars!"
- — Jonathan Pearce
In between the Trial and Arena stages of the episode, two short montages of the 1996 US Robot Wars competition were also aired. The Master was among the competitors showcased, along with eventual 1996 US champion BioHazard and heavyweight melee winner La Machine.
- "Now for some motor racing where pit-stops are banned, but ramming is actively encouraged. It's a sport that could've been designed specifically for Michael Schumacher... a three-lap race around this figure-of-eight course, and the one that crosses the line last, or covers the least distance, is eliminated. Unless of course, they were sensible enough to give the government a million pounds."
- — Jeremy Clarkson explains the format for the Stock Car Trial
Krayzee Tokyo jumped the start and bounced into The Demolisher, as SAT'arn understeered into the fence, and was followed into the wall by Cunning Plan and The Demolisher. Cunning Plan reversed, flipping The Demolisher over a few times, but it landed on its wheels. Bugs and Krayzee Tokyo also messed up the first corner, with both robots spinning on the inside line.
Eventually, SAT'arn made it around turn 2 in the lead, but clipped a wall, allowing The Demolisher to take the lead. The Demolisher complete the first lap, as the other robots all struggled to make it around the track cleanly. The Demolisher pushed Cunning Plan out the way as it was lapped, before lapping SAT'arn, which was squeezing Krayzee Tokyo into a wall.
The Demolisher completed a second lap before anyone else had completed their first, and made it through the crossover through the middle of three other robots. However, as The Demolisher entered the last corner, it clipped the inside wall and flipped itself over. Bugs rammed the upturned Demolisher and carried on past.
- "Back down the centre stretch, around the final corner, it could all be over here – OH MY GOODNESS ME! HE'S FLIPPED! It's flipped over, The Demolisher!"
- — Jonathan Pearce as The Demolisher flips itself over on its would-have-been final lap
Cunning Plan took the lead of the remaining robots, getting a small nudge from Bugs as it lapped the red robot. Krayzee Tokyo stopped moving near the end of lap 1, and SAT'arn was stuck trying to get past the overturned Demolisher, but still progressed to complete a second lap.
As it rounded the final corner on its third lap, Cunning Plan pushed The Demolisher forwards and propped it up against a wall, where it fell on its side. Bugs managed to cross the start line, just before Cunning Plan whizzed over taking the chequered flag waved by Shunt, thus eliminating Krayzee Tokyo.
- Jeremy Clarkson: "Oh, no, no, no, the one that looks like a dustbin or something is out. And you jumped the start! Come on."
- Kevin Church: "It wasn't my fault!"
- Jeremy Clarkson: "Well, whose fault is it? Father Christmas'?"
- Kevin Church: "Its whoever's got the other controller on the same frequency."
- Jeremy Clarkson: "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard in my entire life."
- — Krayzee Tokyo is eliminated
|Cunning Plan||3 Laps|
|The Demolisher||2 Laps|
|Krayzee Tokyo||0 Laps|
- "If I may liken this show to a cup of cappuccino, we have now reached the point where the froth is gone. It's neat wake-up juice from now on in."
- — Jeremy Clarkson's introduction to the Arena stage
Cunning Plan vs BugsEdit
Cunning Plan shot forwards towards Bugs, which hardly moved, but Cunning Plan still missed. Bugs spun on the spot, but managed to drive a little way as Cunning Plan took time to position itself for an attack. Cunning Plan drove under Bugs, lifting it up and over the wedge, but nothing more as Bugs fell back down onto its wheels. Cunning Plan ran into a side rail and backed away, as Bugs still stuck spinning on the spot was too close to a grille, and eventually turning onto it
Stuck in place, Dead Metal moved in, spinning around and whacking Bugs with the pincers. Meanwhile, Cunning Plan was busy teasing about with Sergeant Bash by pushing into its front, and circling round. Cease was called.
- "You will not escape from there, Bugs! I didn't think it had the manoeuvrability it had earlier...that's Dead Metal. Those pincers could crush the life out of the bug..."
- — Jonathan Pearce
It was later revealed that a change in castor wheel had cost Bugs the battle as it decreased Bugs' manoeuvrability.
Winner: Cunning Plan
The Demolisher vs SAT'arnEdit
- "SAT'arn, like a bull, rushes at the Demolisher - oh, you silly moo, you missed him!"
- — Jonathan Pearce
SAT'arn charged and missed The Demolisher as it swerved and sped the other way, so it was forced to reverse and drive round. SAT'arn bumped The Demolisher aside, and after repositioning itself SAT'arn hit The Demolisher with the spikes, whilst trying to push it into Shunt's CPZ, but The Demolisher managed to escape. As both robots crossed the arena, SAT'arn suddenly stopped moving. The Demolisher tried a spiking attack, but was pushed back and almost toppled by Shunt before it could, and then together with Shunt rammed into the immobile SAT'arn. However, The Demolisher was subsequently pinned against SAT'arn by Matilda, as she attacked with the chainsaw. Matilda cut through the wooden armour of SAT'arn, but the saw stopped when it touched The Demolisher's metal armour. SAT'arn was bullied by the other house robots as cease was called.
- "There was a connection that came off...we had problems with it yesterday."
- — The crestfallen SAT'arn team explain
Cunning Plan vs The DemolisherEdit
- "In the Stock Car, Cunning Plan actually tried to rescue Demolisher. That’s not going to be happening in the final!"
- — Jeremy Clarkson
Cunning Plan moved forwards as The Demolisher decided to reverse away. It came back to the start position, as both squared off temporarily. Eventually, Cunning Plan darted under The Demolisher, which rolled off the wedge and landed upside-down as Cease was called.
- "Demolisher, at the top of your picture, is the quicker, but Cunning Plan is the heavier of these two featherweights. Demolisher will be trying to keep out of trouble, with young Sam at the wheels- Oh, but the wheels have come off! The Demolisher is beaten by the Cunning Plan of Oliver Steeples. I'm not too sure whether the crowd wanted young Sam Rudgard to go through, but he had no chance with power like that."
- — Jonathan Pearce
Heat Winner: Cunning Plan
- Both Cunning Plan and Demolisher came very close to going out of the arena - Demolisher entered the arena for the first time and almost shot out through the wall, and Cunning Plan's burst of speed to finish the Gauntlet almost caused the same thing.
- While the other five heats of the series featured robots of various weight categories, Heat D only featured featherweight competitors, although Jeremy Clarkson stated incorrectly that it featured lightweight robots.
- Cunning Plan's defeat of Demolisher in the Heat Final broke the Shortest Battle Record. Currently, it is ranked 5th in Shortest Battles in UK Robot Wars.
- Also included in this episode were video clips from the final of the 1995 UK Open Competition in London, between American robots The Master and Thor, as well as from the final rumble of the 1996 American Robot Wars, won by La Machine.
- Jonathan Pearce introduced Cunning Plan by stating that Oliver Steeples, builder of the robot, was a Star Wars fan. Steeples would later build a robot for Star Wars: The Force Awakens in 2015.
- This was the first time children appeared on Robot Wars. It was also the first time a child drove a robot.