"Throughout history, warmongers have promised that their conflict will be the mother of all battles, but tonight, we're gonna show them how a proper war should be fought. The whole series has been leading up to tonight's final showdown, and throughout the land we're getting reports of a nation on tenterhooks. Men are tending their allotments, women are cooking supper, children are tucked up in bed and dreaming of the day they can have a pony. But here, in the East End of London, we have six more robots revved up and ready to fight it out for that last place in the final showdown."
— Jeremy Clarkson introducing the heat

Heat F of Robot Wars: The First Wars was the sixth and final heat which determined the Grand Finalists of Robot Wars: The First Wars. Also included in this episode was the Grand Final of the First Wars. The episode featuring Heat F and the Grand Final was originally broadcast on March 27, 1998 on BBC Two.

Competing robotsEdit

Weight 65.7kg
Dimensions 1.15m x 1.15m x 0.50m
Speed 10mph
Turning Circle 0m
Ground Clearance 25mm
Power 2 x 12V motors
Weapons Pneumatic ram
From: Enfield
Team Members: Neil Lambeth & John Ebden
Eubank the Mouse
Eubank the Mouse
Weight 20kg
Dimensions 0.90m x 0.90m x 0.90m
Speed 15mph
Turning Circle 0m
Ground Clearance 10mm
Power 12V wheelchair motors
Weapons Right hook & left cross
From: Maidenhead
Team Members: Steve Dove
Prince of Darkness ready for battle
Prince of Darkness
Weight 27.2kg
Dimensions 0.90m x 0.50m x 0.35m
Speed 7mph
Turning Circle 0m
Ground Clearance 30mm
Power 14.4V drill motors
Weapons None
From: Sutton
Team Members: Jon Scott, James Cruickshank, Matthew Wilson & Stephen Rowles
Weight 86.3kg
Dimensions 0.92m x 0.73m x 1.00m
Speed 3mph
Turning Circle 2m
Ground Clearance 10mm
Power 2 x 12V motors
Weapons Steel bar (replaced with Killertron's mace in the heat final)
From: Oxford
Team Members: Jonathan Attias, Chris Crosskey, Peter Kyberd & Robin Cox
The Blob
The Blob
Weight 73.9kg
Dimensions 1.10m x 0.70m x 0.45m
Speed 15mph
Turning Circle 1.2m
Ground Clearance 5-50mm
Power 12V/24V motors
Weapons Lawnmower blade
From: Mitcham
Team Members: Phil Patching, Gareth Munday & Simon Carroll
Weight 52.9kg
Dimensions 1.55m x 0.85m x 0.20m
Speed 10mph
Turning Circle 0m
Ground Clearance 50mm
Power 12V motor
Weapons Spikes
From: King Edward VI Grammar School
Team Members: Andrew Rockliffe, Christopher Hancomb & David Hall


The BlobEdit


Dead Metal attacks The Blob

The Blob stuttered out of the turntable and chose the left route, passing Sergeant Bash with only a small bump and tried to turn out of Dead Metal's way, but was pushed into a spike block. Dead Metal pushed The Blob through the skittles and wedged it on the second ramp. The Blob tried to back away, but Sergeant Bash came in and pushed it further back. Matilda joined in to push The Blob backwards as the competitor had broken down.

Jeremy Clarkson: "So, using the power of hindsight. What changes would you have made to strategy there?"
Phil Patching: "Choose another driver, really."
— Lighthearted hindsight from The Blob



Elvis lifts its body

Elvis drove out of the turntable and spun around. Elvis drove towards the ramp, but got stuck with the wheels off the ground. Elvis lowered its body to try and free itself, but to no avail. Sergeant Bash reversed in and slammed into the side of Elvis, but couldn't free it.

"He needs some blue suede shoes to get out of there! Oh, you Hound Dog Sergeant! Leave him alone!"
— Jonathan Pearce

Therefore, Sergeant Bash started to cut away at the side of Elvis as it fruitlessly lifted the bodyshell up and down. Eventually time ran out and Sergeant Bash's saw had been shattered partially.



T.R.A.C.I.E. passes Sergeant Bash

T.R.A.C.I.E. headed down the left route, straight past Sergeant Bash, but struggled with the turn and was pressured by the house robot. T.R.A.C.I.E. slowly crawled to the halfway point, but failed to move much further as Dead Metal came in from the front, pinning T.R.A.C.I.E. in between it and Sergeant Bash. Bash flicked flames towards T.R.A.C.I.E. as time ran out.

Andrew Rockcliffe: "It was hard, it was very difficult."
Jeremy Clarkson: "Oh dear, you should have called it Sharon. Would've been better."
— After the Gauntlet run

Eubank the MouseEdit

Mouse gauntlet

Eubank the Mouse gets past Matilda

Eubank the Mouse zipped out of the turntable, straight down the left route and past Sergeant Bash. Eubank the Mouse's angled sides meant that it clipped the wall with the back corner and was steered into the wall, allowing Dead Metal to stop it. Eubank the Mouse tried to get around the house robot, eventually finding a gap and being stopped by Matilda. Eubank the Mouse avoided Matilda and instead got stuck on the spike block, but reversed and set off across the finish line.



Skarab makes it to the end zone

Skarab exited the turntable and headed down the left route, being hit by Sergeant Bash. Skarab passed Bash and moved on, being chased by the flamethrower and heading into Dead Metal, swinging and missing with its hammer. Dead Metal tried to pin Skarab against the wall, but it pushed through and crossed the line.

Jeremy Clarkson: "What's it like when you're being attacked by those things?"
Jonathan Attias: "I wasn't paying that much attention to them, actually. Just trying to force my way through."
Jeremy Clarkson: "Right, deduct points for smugness."
— After the Gauntlet

Prince of DarknessEdit


Prince of Darkness crosses the ramps

Prince of Darkness made its way up the first ramp without incident and drove straight onto the second one. As Prince of Darkness came off the ramp, Matilda lay in wait and pushed it back into the end of the left route, having not fully crossed the finish line.

"The Prince of Darkness is going all the way! Look at that! Oh, until Matilda came across, but did they cross the line? They think so - but the judges say no, they have to do it all again!"
— Jonathan Pearce

Matilda shoved Prince of Darkness back into the spike blocks, but left them enough space to squeeze out. Prince of Darkness pushed a pipe along as it finally made it to the end.


Rank Robot Distance
Eubank the Mouse Completed
Prince of Darkness Completed
Skarab Completed
T.R.A.C.I.E. 8.70m
The Blob 7.00m
Elvis 2.75m

Trial (Snooker)Edit

Tracie stuck

T.R.A.C.I.E. wedged against its own goal

Prince of darkness scores

Prince of Darkness puts its third goal in

Skarab was the first to move, but The Blob was the first to smash though the triangle of balls. The robots sat in a melee and tried to move the balls into their allocated goals. Prince of Darkness became the first goalscorer, followed by Skarab who then sat by its goal for the remainder of the trial. The Blob made one attempt on its goal, but still failed to pot. Eubank the Mouse pushed some balls around aimlessly before it broke down near the top, and T.R.A.C.I.E. whilst trying to exit its goal at the start, impaled itself on the surrounding wall.

Prince of Darkness carried on potting the balls, eventually scoring six in total as cease was called. The judges considered Eubank the Mouse to be eliminated, having broken down 'irreparably'.

Jeremy Clarkson: "That's an impressive score, in my view, you weren't really up against much were you."
Jon Scott: "No, I was quite glad actually, the competition had broken down 'cause I thought I was going to be quite badly beaten up."
— Jeremy interviews the Prince of Darkness driver


Rank Robot Balls
Prince of Darkness 6
Skarab 1
The Blob 0
T.R.A.C.I.E. 0
Eubank the Mouse 0



"And if, at the end of the bout, two robots are still running, we shall turn to our panel of adjudicators, for a decision. Now they're going to be marking you roboteers for style, control, violence and aggression. I, on the other hand, am only interested in violence. Now get out there and do some."
— Jeremy Clarkson

The Blob vs SkarabEdit

Blob v skarab

Skarab pushes The Blob into the side wall

Skarab took a while to make it to The Blob as they were both slow robots. When they met, The Blob stabbed Skarab, who in turn pushed The Blob slightly back. The Blob then rammed Skarab askew, and the latter fired the hammer from the side, but narrowly missed as it spun round before retracting its weapon. Sergeant Bash flicked flames at both robots as Skarab turned to push The Blob, now motionless, backwards into the top wall.

"Its oh-no-whoa, the big heave-ho, out onto those side bars, so difficult to escape from - especially with the Sergeant coming in. Argh! You could be right, you could be stone dead - oh! Rust in peace, The Blob!"
— Jonathan Pearce

With The Blob still not moving, Shunt and Sergeant Bash both attacked The Blob a few times until Cease was called.

Winner: Skarab

T.R.A.C.I.E. vs Prince of DarknessEdit

TRACIE vs prince of darkness

T.R.A.C.I.E. spears Prince of Darkness

Prince of darkness vs tracie

Prince of Darkness tips under pressure from T.R.A.C.I.E.

"So it's a seven year-old go-kart with wet paint. But it is the crowd favourite, its David against the heavyweight Goliath in the shape of T.R.A.C.I.E."
— Jonathan Pearce on Prince of Darkness

Prince of Darkness, sporting a new paint job for the fight, edged towards T.R.A.C.I.E. but decided to move away at the last second. T.R.A.C.I.E.'s spike bounced off the front wedge initially as they met for the first time. Both robots pushed against each other, and it was T.R.A.C.I.E who was the stronger one. T.R.A.C.I.E. spun around, slamming rearwards into the side of Prince of Darkness before driving away to reposition. T.R.A.C.I.E. drove in on the side of Prince of Darkness, and the right spike impaled Prince of Darkness' tyre.

As T.R.A.C.I.E. reversed, the hole grew and Prince of Darkness were stuck with a flat tyre. Prince of Darkness tried to drive away, but T.R.A.C.I.E.'s next attack hit the same tyre and almost pulled it off the rim. T.R.A.C.I.E. tried edging Prince of Darkness toward a grille, but Prince of Darkness managed to turn away from danger. Instead, T.R.A.C.I.E held Prince of Darkness in place, briefly tilting it up, and allowed the house robots to come in and attack the fallen robot. T.R.A.C.I.E. remained stationary on a grille, as Prince of Darkness finally ground to a halt.

Winner: T.R.A.C.I.E.


Skarab vs T.R.A.C.I.E.Edit

Tracie skarab

T.R.A.C.I.E. spears Skarab

"Killertron, in order to help us uphold the honour of the hammerbots, because we're the only one left, has lent us their mace, because it'll give us the reach to get into the centre of T.R.A.C.I.E.'s electronics"
— Team Isis before the fight

T.R.A.C.I.E. drove into the side of Skarab, piercing the armour. With both robots stuck together, Dead Metal and Matilda tried to free them. Skarab spun around and tried to hit T.R.A.C.I.E. with its new mace, but T.R.A.C.I.E. backed off with some fibreglass armour from Skarab, peeled off and stuck on the spikes.

Tracie bash

T.R.A.C.I.E. assails Sergeant Bash

"He's ripped the flesh off can see a trailer off one of the deadly prongs! And up against it, that mace is like a little schoolground conker against a juggernaut!"
— Jonathan Pearce

T.R.A.C.I.E. moved around Skarab in the centre of the arena, while Skarab turned on the spot, using its mace to ward off another attack, until T.R.A.C.I.E accidentally drove into Sergeant Bash's CPZ, impaling the house robot. Skarab were being pressured by Matilda, until the house robot's chainsaw cut the aerial off Skarab. T.R.A.C.I.E. escaped the CPZ, and moved to spear Matilda, pushing it away from Skarab. T.R.A.C.I.E. then turned to attack Sergeant Bash again, as Skarab stuttered at the side. Cease was called and the judges gave T.R.A.C.I.E. the victory.

Heat Winner: T.R.A.C.I.E.

Trivia Edit

  • Eubank the Mouse became the third Stock Robot to cause controversy, as Elvis was eliminated due to The Mouse completing the Gauntlet.
  • T.R.A.C.I.E. became the only Grand Finalist in the series to not complete the Gauntlet.
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.