- "Monty Python once said “What have the Romans done for us?”. But he was forgetting about Venus, the Goddess of love and beauty. Venus gave the World balance and harmony and other words which are later used to sell shampoo. But, fortunately for us, Venus had a brother. Her brother’s name was Mars. And he gave the World chainsaws and Led Zeppelin and the desire to build robots out of ugly lumps of metal and have them bash the brains out of each other just for fun. What Mars gave us was Robot Wars, and here in our very own pantheon of destruction, six titans clash fight for a place in our series semi-finals."
- — Craig Charles' introduction
Heat D of Robot Wars: The Second Wars was the fourth of twelve heats which determined the Semi-Finalists of Robot Wars: The Second Wars. The episode featuring Heat D was originally broadcast on 27 November 1998 on BBC Two. The broadcast managed to attract 5.94 million viewers, a decrease of ten thousand viewers when compared with the previous episode. According to BARB, this meant it ranked third in the top thirty highest rated BBC 2 broadcasts during 23-29 November, behind only The Simpsons and Have I Got News For You.
Competing Robots[]
Newcomers[]
 | ||
|---|---|---|
| Behemoth | ||
| Weight | 67.7kg | |
| Dimensions | 0.95 x 0.5 x 0.55m | |
| Speed | 5mph | |
| Turning Circle | 0m | |
| Ground Clearance | 15mm | |
| Power | 2 x 12V batteries | |
| Weapons | 1000kg front lifting shovel | |
| Notes | Weapon powered by 'sodastream' CO2 cylinder | |
| From: Hemel Hempstead | ||
| Team Members: Anthony Pritchard, Michael Pritchard & Edward Pritchard | ||
 | ||
|---|---|---|
| Inquisitor | ||
| Weight | 64.5kg | |
| Dimensions | 1.35 x 0.7 x 0.38m | |
| Speed | 15mph | |
| Turning Circle | 0.7m | |
| Ground Clearance | 5mm | |
| Power | 24V (5 batteries) | |
| Weapons | Chainsaw and rear mounted flail | |
| Notes | Gavin was placed 4th in a Mr Great Britain body-building competition | |
| From: Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire | ||
| Team Members: Keith Millward & Gavin Hatton | ||
 | ||
|---|---|---|
| Milly-Ann Bug | ||
| Weight | 53.0kg | |
| Dimensions | 1.4 x 0.62 x 0.40m | |
| Speed | 5mph | |
| Turning Circle | 0.7m | |
| Ground Clearance | 55mm | |
| Power | 6 x 12V batteries | |
| Weapons | Circular saw / wooden mandibles | |
| Notes | Head and torso independently driven | |
| From: Leeds | ||
| Team Members: Geoff Warren, Martin Dawson & Ben Weaver | ||
 | ||
|---|---|---|
| Razer | ||
| Weight | 78.8kg | |
| Dimensions | 1.15 x 0.7 x 0.8m | |
| Speed | 11mph | |
| Turning Circle | 0m | |
| Ground Clearance | 8-90mm | |
| Power | 2 x 12V batteries | |
| Weapons | 9 tonne piercing/crushing arm | |
| Notes | Driven by 2 x 12V golf caddy motors | |
| From: Bournemouth | ||
| Team Members: Simon Scott & Ian Lewis | ||
Veterans[]
 | ||
|---|---|---|
| Bodyhammer (seeded 3rd) | ||
| Weight | 77.0kg | |
| Dimensions | 0.8 x 0.8 x 0.65m | |
| Speed | 15mph | |
| Turning Circle | 0m | |
| Ground Clearance | 5mm | |
| Power | 1 x 24V battery | |
| Weapons | 6" circular saw | |
| Notes | Robin and Andrew work in the nuclear power industry | |
| From: Gloucester | ||
| Team Members: Robin Herrick, David Gribble & Andrew Dayton-Lovett | ||
 | ||
|---|---|---|
| Elvis | ||
| Weight | 83.0kg | |
| Dimensions | 1.4 x 1.45 x 0.8m | |
| Speed | 10mph | |
| Turning Circle | 0m | |
| Ground Clearance | 10-140mm | |
| Power | 2 x 12V batteries | |
| Weapons | 50kg lifting flap and 12" diamond disc | |
| Notes | Pneumatically driven wheels and ground clearance (CO2) | |
| From: Enfield in Middlesex | ||
| Team Members: Neil Lamber & John Ebdon | ||
Gauntlet[]
| Left Route | Centre Route | Right Route |
|---|---|---|
| Sir Killalot and two pits | Brick wall, see-saw and Sergeant Bash | Ramrig, flame pit and Shunt |
Milly-Ann-Bug[]
Shunt lifts Milly-Ann Bug's head
Milly-Ann Bug turned out of the start zone and headed down the right route. Milly-Ann Bug drove into the ramrig, but both right wheels got caught on the obstruction, and Milly wriggled about, failing to escape. Milly eventually made it to the end of the second rig, but was trapped almost instantly by Shunt, with the House Robot pushing Milly-Ann Bug into the arena wall. Shunt flipped Milly-Ann Bug's front pod up, axing between the eyes and causing some minor damage. Shunt let Milly-Ann Bug move, but it drove across the route and instead got stuck on the other wall. In the middle route, Sergeant Bash was waiting, and threw a flicker of flame at Milly-Ann Bug's hair, which caught alight.
- "The fringe, singed!"
- — Jonathan Pearce, as Sergeant Bash sets fire to Milly-Ann Bug's hair.
Behemoth[]
Behemoth carries a block across the ramp
Behemoth tentatively moved towards the brick wall, lifting the scoop to bring the blocks down. Behemoth reversed as fallen bricks blocked the path, before driving in to push more bricks forwards. Behemoth headed up the ramp, carrying one brick, and pushing a second under the scoop. Sergeant Bash defended the base of the ramp, so Behemoth tried to push the House Robot back. Behemoth bared the flipping scoop of Sergeant Bash, who moved out the way, allowing Behemoth to complete the gauntlet.
- "That's a superb run by Behemoth"
- — Jonathan Pearce
Bodyhammer[]
Bodyhammer gets stuck on the ramrig
Bodyhammer chose the right route and set off towards the ramrig. As it reached the start, the rig moved and slid under Bodyhammer. The low ground clearance of Bodyhammer meant this lifted the wheels off the ground, trapping the seeded robot. The ramrig held Bodyhammer in position, as it frantically fired the weapons to try and free itself. Sir Killalot drove in, scratching Bodyhammer with his lance, but managing to free it. Bodyhammer drove forwards, only to be trapped again on the other side of the ramrig, shoved into the saws by Sir Killalot.
Razer[]
Razer crushes Shunt
Razer drove down the right route, setting up at the front of the ramrig. Razer waited for the rig to retreat before heading in, getting halfway before spinning side-to-side trying to reorient itself. Razer bounced off a circular saw, sending sparks flying. Razer eventually escaped, driving at Shunt and just riding the scoop. Razer backed up for another attempt, charging in and sliding under the side of Shunt, pushing the house robot back and into the end zone. Razer dug the claw into the side of Shunt at the end.
- "Then we pushed that wuss [Shunt] out of the way"
- — Ian Lewis on defeating Shunt
Inquisitor[]
Inquisitor squeezes through the ramrig
Inquisitor drove towards the ramrig, which only had two out of six saws working. Inquisitor made it through the first ramrig, but found the second one blocking its route. Inquisitor waited and eventually made it through the second part of the ramrig, where it was spun around by Shunt. Shunt pushed Inquisitor back into a spike block, but Inquisitor escaped over the flame pit to cross the finish line.
- Craig Charles: "Where does the name Inquisitor come from?"
- Gavin Hatton: "I'd rather not say"
- Craig Charles: "Why? Oh go on tell me"
- Gavin Hatton: "Red Dwarf"
- Craig Charles: "Never heard of it!"
- — Craig Charles interviews the Inquisitor team after their robot's run
Elvis[]
Elvis meets the brick wall
Elvis moved forwards, firing the flipper before dropping the dome down. Elvis moved slowly into the middle route, being lifted by the spikes before making m a small dent in the brick wall. Elvis reversed to have another go, firing the flipper to knock some bricks down. Elvis set about flipping more bricks away, pushing as far up as it could get through the bricks as time ran out.
Results[]
| Rank | Robot | Distance |
|---|---|---|
| Razer | Completed | |
| Behemoth | Completed | |
| Inquisitor | Completed | |
| Milly-Ann Bug | 8.4m | |
| Elvis | 3.7m | |
| Bodyhammer | 3.0m |
Trial (Football)[]
Round 1[]
Dead Metal scores an own goal
Razer shot forwards, pushing the ball with its attacked baffles on the claw. Razer pushed the ball towards a corner, as the goal was defended by Dead Metal. Dead Metal grabbed Razer, pushing the robot back, and bouncing the ball against a wall. As Dead Metal reversed, the left pincer pushed the ball backwards and scored an own goal. Razer reversed into Elvis, who was being pressured by Sergeant Bash's flamethrower as Cease was called, and Razer was awarded the goal.
Through: Razer
Round 2[]
Milly-Ann Bug is intercepted by Elvis and Behemoth
Milly-Ann Bug, starting next to the ball, instantly grabbed it and drove around, trying to get it towards the goal. Elvis drove into the side of Milly-Ann Bug, lifting the rear section up and allowing Behemoth to drive in and steal the ball. Behemoth struggled to turn and keep the ball in its scoop, while Milly-Ann Bug's hair was set on fire by Sergeant Bash. Dead Metal tried to stop Behemoth scoring, as Elvis stayed by the side, but Behemoth eventually drove the ball into the goal and scored.
Through: Behemoth
Round 3[]
Inquisitor scores
Elvis backed up to block Milly-Ann Bug, allowing Inquisitor to knock the ball towards the goal unchallenged. Dead Metal charged at Inquisitor, batting it away, but leaving an open goal. Inquisitor hit the ball, sending it towards the net. Dead Metal tried to defend, but aimed badly, allowing the ball to trickle in the net.
Through: Inquisitor
Round 4[]
Milly-Ann Bug goes up in flames while Elvis scores
Elvis flipped at Milly-Ann Bug, but any escape was prevented by the House Robots. Sergeant Bash aimed to set fire to Elvis' head, but allowed the competitor to drive away. Elvis headed towards the ball, as Sergeant Bash and Dead Metal attacked Milly-Ann Bug. Elvis dribbled the ball towards the goal, sending it the wrong way much to the team's dismay near the goal. Milly-Ann Bug was being burnt, but Sergeant Bash came in and moved the ball away from the wall, giving Elvis a clear run to score the final goal.
Through: Elvis
Eliminated: Milly-Ann-Bug
Arena[]
Semi-Finals[]
Razer vs. Inquisitor[]
Inquisitor get crushed by Razer, losing its flail
Razer continues to crush Inquisitor
Razer headed towards Inquisitor, which turned to try and get the flails into the fight. Razer pushed Inquisitor headfirst into the wall, trapping it in the claw and bringing the crushing claw down into Inquisitor, destroying the flail. Shunt started slamming Inquisitor with his axe. Razer stayed there, bringing the claw down again, buckling another part of Inquisitor. Sir Killalot pushed the pair of the robots, giving Inquisitor a chance to move away.
- "I think they've got no chance now"
- — Jonathan Pearce doubting Inquisitor's hopes
The now immobile Razer is attacked by Matilda
Sergeant Bash torches the underbelly of Razer
Inquisitor drove off, heading out of the PPZ and into the centre of the arena. However, Razer had not moved, and were limited to just the claw moving up and down. With Razer still in the PPZ and not moving, the House Robots pounced. Matilda flipped Razer over, allowing Shunt to hammer the base of the robot and Sergeant Bash to set fire to the inside of Razer. As Razer was deemed immobile, Inquisitor was left as the surprise victor.
Winner: Inquisitor
Elvis vs. Behemoth[]
Elvis' rear disc creates sparks
Behemoth pushes Elvis back
Behemoth drove at Elvis with the scoop raised, being lightly flipped as the robots met. Elvis turned and managed to bring the cutting disc in on Behemoth's scoop. Behemoth went around the side of Elvis to lift it up, allowing Dead Metal to charge into the raised robot. Behemoth pushed Elvis backwards into the PPZ, where it was set on by the House Robots, Matilda pressuring Elvis hard into the wall. Matilda, Dead Metal and Shunt all started holding Elvis in a corner, before dragging it onto the flame pit.
Elvis is pushed onto the flame pit by Matilda
- "Well, Elvis did like his burgers flame-grilled."
- — Jonathan Pearce as Elvis is burnt
Matilda kept dragging Elvis over the flames as the battle ended.
- "They burnt you to a crisp, they bashed your head in!"
- — Craig Charles
Winner: Behemoth
Final[]
Inquisitor vs. Behemoth[]
Behemoth lifts Inquisitor
Inquisitor is toppled
Inquisitor, lacking the chainsaw due to damage from the last fight, managed to stop Behemoth from getting under it initially. However, Behemoth tried again, managing to force the scoop under Inquisitor's spikes. Inquisitor was lifted, then left on a floor spike, eventually escaping. Inquisitor pushed Behemoth back under the scoop, but Behemoth pushed harder after a little while. Inquisitor changed angle, but was pushed back into Sir Killalot, which ripped Inquisitor's flail off with his lance. Matilda managed to bounce Inquisitor into Behemoth's scoop, and Inquisitor was lifted and pushed back into the PPZ. Dead Metal grabbed Inquisitor, but pressure from Sir Killalot eventually turned Inquisitor over. And during the credits, Sir Killalot picked it up and dropped it in the pit.
Heat Winner: Behemoth
- "You don't need spots, or boils, or sores, to be a fan, of Robot Wars!"
- — Craig Charles' sign-off
Trivia[]
- This heat signified the first time that a seed lost in Round 1, with Bodyhammer falling at the Gauntlet stage.
- Team Razer would fight every team in this heat except Elvis at some point in the show's history, and it fought Team Make Robotics four times.
- This heat featured the debut of the vertical crusher weapon in Razer, as well as the first intended entanglement device in Milly-Ann Bug, despite the latter being illegal in the sport at the time.
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