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"Think about fish for a moment: little fish get eaten by big fish, big fish get eaten by bigger fish, and the really big fish are made to jump through hoops and clap their flippers for American tourists. Blimey, nature’s cruel! Luckily for us, life’s no longer a case of survival of the fittest; if it was, I’d of been eaten long ago! No, us humans have to get one over on each other in a different way. If we’re called Gerald, we play golf and we play squash, and we get really upset if we lose a Julia from accounts! But those of us with a chin build robots and have them fight out animal instincts for us. It may be unnatural selection, but only one robot survives!"
— Craig Charles' introduction

Heat J of Robot Wars: The Third Wars was the tenth of sixteen heats which determined the Semi-Finalists of Robot Wars: The Third Wars. The episode featuring Heat J was originally broadcast on February 18, 2000 on BBC Two. The broadcast managed to attract 4.89 million viewers, a decrease of 330,000 viewers when compared with the previous episode. According to BARB, this meant it fell to third in the top thirty highest rated BBC 2 broadcasts during 14-20 February, behind only Gormenghast and Top of the Pops 2.

Competing RobotsEdit

NewcomersEdit

Centurion1
Centurion
Weight 79.3kg
Dimensions 0.95 x 1.33 x 0.82m
Clearance 0.01 - 0.02m
Power 2 x 750W Electric Motors
Weapons Axe & Ramming/Lifting Forks
Notes Wheels Are From a Go-Kart
From: Essex
Team Members: Ray Tait, Matthew Tait, David Whorlow
Erics3
Eric
Weight 80.0kg
Dimensions 0.52 x 1.25 x 0.80m
Clearance 0.05m
Power 3 x Electric Motors
Weapons Hydraulic Lift/Jaw
Notes Cost £1,000
From: East Sussex
Team Members: Ian Nicholson, Mike Hammerton, Bruce Nicholson
Overkill official image series 3
Overkill
Weight 77.6kg
Dimensions 0.53 x 1.16 x 0.80m
Clearance 0.10m
Power 2 x Motors & 1 x Petrol Engine
Weapons Ramming Fire Axe & Chainsaw
Notes Cost £2,000
From: Somerset
Team Members: Lawrence Burke, James Yule, Lawrence Burke Jr
Iron mask
The Iron Mask
Weight 77.2kg
Dimensions 0.49 x 0.96 x 0.49m
Clearance 0.02m
Power Electric Motor
Weapons Axe Powered By 12V Motor
Notes Cost £450
From: Yorkshire
Team Members: Chris Sievers, Tait Sievers
Weldor
Weld-Dor
Weight 76.9kg
Dimensions 0.79 x 1.14 x 0.74m
Clearance 0.03m
Power 2 x Wheelchair Motors
Weapons Pneumatic Lift & Hammer
Notes Aluminium Body
From: Belfast
Team Members: Phelim Lundy, David Brown, Ryan Crilly

VeteransEdit

101
101
Weight 79.5kg
Dimensions 0.27 x 1.0 x 0.75m
Clearance 0.05m
Power Electrically Powered
Weapons CO2 Powered Ram With Spike
Notes Cost Under £5
From: Northamptonshire
Team Members: Mike Franklin, Amy Franklin, Paul Johnson
Excalibur
Excalibur
Weight 84.1kg
Dimensions 0.92 x 1.08 x 0.76m
Clearance 0.01m
Power 3 x Starter Motors
Weapons Steel Axe Pneumatic Ram
Notes Able To Lift 280PSI
From: Wales
Team Members: Anthony Lockwood, David Martin, Wayne Martin
King b
King Buxton
Weight 77.9kg
Dimensions 0.25 x 1.03 x 0.76m
Clearance 0.05m
Power 5 x Electric Motors
Weapons Lifting/Ramming Spikes
Notes Cost £1,500
From: Essex
Team Members: Simon Harrison, Phil Brett, Steve Monk

Round 1Edit

"Well, it's an expensive looking line-up, Philippa. The Centurion team a real right up against Excalibur with the fearsome looking axe blade. 101, the jumble sale team against Overkill. What was Lawrence doing riding it in the trials? The Iron Mask all smiles and leathers in the pit against Weld-Dor the new boys. Eric with the lovely flaming paintwork against King Buxton, back again in a spin, but will they go in the bin?"
— Review of the first round from Jonathan Pearce

Centurion vs ExcaliburEdit

Centurion vs excalibur

Centurion wedges beneath Excalibur

Centurion swiftly crossed the arena and ran into Excalibur. Excalibur axed through Centurion's armour easily, pinning it in place temporarily. Centurion pushed Excalibur into the side wall, and the latter's axe caught on the wall. Centurion then tried to attack with its own axe, but missed and Excalibur escaped. Centurion whirled away, and Excalibur's axe appeared to be stuck in the downwards position. Centurion darted past, but briefly became stuck on the spikes. Excalibur turned sluggishly around, and Centurion, now free, attacked it from behind and wedged its lifting forks beneath it. Excalibur's axe had recovered, but it was unable to hit Centurion behind it, and it was pushed onto the flame pit. Sir Killalot pushed Excalibur across the arena and against Sgt. Bash, who bathed Excalibur in flames. Centurion prevented Sgt. Bash from attacking Excalibur, but darted away before the Sergeant could turn on it.

Axes locked

The axes locked together

"Centurion thought about having a little dig at Sgt. Bash and wisely turned away."
— Jonathan Pearce

Centurion pushed the apparently immobile Excalibur into Sgt. Bash, and Excalibur axed Sgt. Bash, piercing Sgt. Bash's armour. Sir Killalot came across and pushed Excalibur against the side wall, and Centurion started attacked with its axe. Excalibur used its own axe to block, and the axes locked together.

Excalibur Centurion Sir Killalot

Sir Killalot closes in on the immobile Excalibur

"Ah, axes locked! I don't think we've ever seen that before in Robot Wars - axes locked together like that."
— Jonathan Pearce

Centurion left off Excalibur and the silver machine was unable to move away. This cued the House Robots to attack, although only minor damage was done by Matilda's chainsaw before cease was called.

"There is life in the axe blade, but nothing much left in Excalibur."
— Jonathan Pearce

Winner: Centurion

101 vs. OverkillEdit

Overkill 101

101 ducks to one side

Overkill 101 Dead Metal

Overkill gets itself into trouble with Dead Metal

Overkill pushed beneath 101 initially, but 101 easily drove off; its tracks nearly always remained on the ground, allowing it to keep traction. Overkill pushed underneath one more time, this time more successful as it pushed 101 around and nearly into the pit, with only 101's track system allowing it to duck to one side like that. Overkill stopped dead beside the pit, and 101 rammed it from behind. Overkill came back to life and sped into Dead Metal's CPZ, before promptly stopping again.

"Now Overkill, has it gone into overdrive, I wonder, and burned itself out? What's happening here? Not a great deal of movement of Overkill."
— Jonathan Pearce

Dead Metal seized Overkill and cut into the back of the machine. 101 pushed itself in and freed Overkill from the side wall, allowing it to dart behind Dead Metal and escape the CPZ. Overkill and 101 fought again, with 101 driving up and onto Overkill's wedge several times, but the chainsaw of Overkill was either not working or stopped every time 101 came into contact with it. Overkill made another lunge for the pit, but again 101 drove off at the last second. Overkill had a quicker recovery on this occasion, and pushed 101 into Sir Killalot. However, 101 merely drove out from underneath Sir Killalot's lance, undamaged.

101 overkill

101 bulldozes the immobile Overkill

Overkill 101 Sir Killalot

Sir Killalot rides up the overturned Overkill

"Look, no purchase of the lance there on the bodyshell of 101. Again, the tank tracks simply threw of Killalot's lance, and we haven't seen that too often in Robot Wars."
— Jonathan Pearce

Despite its aggression, pushing 101 back into Sir Killalot, Overkill broke down beside Sgt. Bash's CPZ. 101 slammed into it, pulling flecks of armour off, and Sir Killalot attacked, flipping Overkill with its lance. Sir Killalot then ran over Overkill, crushing it with its huge weight. Cease was called.

"Overkill, over the top. Over and out. 101 through and next up, The Iron Mask and Weld-Dor."
— Jonathan Pearce

Winner: 101

The Iron Mask vs Weld-DorEdit

The iron mask weld-dor

Weld-Dor hooks under The Iron Mask's chin

Both robots moved forward slowly, but nothing more than nudging happened until Weld-Dor lowered its forks. Weld-Dor briefly got beneath The Iron Mask, but the silver robot retaliated by pushing Weld-Dor back with its pushing power. The Iron Mask's axe was unable to strike Weld-Dor due to its size and proximity. Weld-Dor then slipped one fork underneath The Iron Mask's "chin" and pushed it into the side wall, neutralising The Iron Mask's weapons and wheels simultaneously.

"And I thought this might happen, that the iron mask at the front of the robot of the same name might cause problems, and might be impaled, and that's what's happened, on the spike of Weld-Dor."
— Jonathan Pearce
Iron mask weld-dor

Weld-Dor topples The Iron Mask

Weld-Dor pulled The Iron Mask off the side wall and dropped it, allowing it to escape. The Iron Mask returned and suffered an axe blow from Weld-Dor. The Irish machine ended the match by lifting The Iron Mask and rolling it on its back, immobilising it. Strangely, cease was called immediately.

"Well, I'm not too sure about exhilarating, but Weld-Dor go through, The Iron Mask gone. Next up, Eric against King Buxton"
— Jonathan Pearce

Winner: Weld-Dor

Eric vs King BuxtonEdit

King buxton eric

Buxton drives up Eric's side. Notice the left prong missing its tip

Eric and King Buxton met in the centre, with King Buxton darting off to one side and pushing Eric. It quickly lost purchase on the smooth sloped side of Eric, and Eric dodged away. King Buxton charged, but Eric activated its lifter and pulled King Buxton into mid-air, blocking the charge. Buxton pushed into Eric, but lost the tip of one of its prongs in the process.

Eric king buxton

Eric and King Buxton wedged on the pit

"Ooh! King Buxton's lost one of the tips to its front rams there. Somewhere on the arena floor is a steel tip."
— Jonathan Pearce
King Buxton Eric

Eric, submerged in the Pit

It attacked again, but drove up the side of Eric, who opened its lifter to keep Buxton suspended. Eric flipped King Buxton up, but King Buxton retaliated by pushing Eric almost into the pit. Two of King Buxton's wheels were suspended over the pit, and when Eric attempted to pit it, it freed Buxton and reversed itself in.

"Eric towards the pit - oh goodness me! And King Buxton is left teetering on the brink of oblivion! And Eric - oh no! - has backed itself down into the pit! King Buxton spun away and Eric went down."
— Jonathan Pearce

Winner: King Buxton


Round 2Edit

101 vs CenturionEdit

Centurion 101

Centurion lifts 101

Centurion 101 1

101 knocks Centurion back with its spike

The battle's start was very quick, with each robot trying to face its weapon towards the opponent. Centurion was the first to achieve this, and used its lifting prongs to lift 101, but 101's tracks remained on the ground, and it simply drove off the prongs. Centurion then lifted 101 and pushed it into the arena wall, where it was caught by Sgt. Bash briefly. 101 escaped and Centurion managed to lift it again, this time skewering its prong against the track. However, with one track still on the ground, 101 merely drove off. 101 slammed into Centurion, who finally lifted enough of 101 of the ground to prevent it from moving.

"Centurion, again with the eagle showing clearly, turning away, like some first world war tank slamming against another here."
— Jonathan Pearce

Centurion shunted 101 into the side wall, but 101 re-entered the battle, dodging Centurion's axe, and pushed it towards Sgt. Bash. Centurion dodged Sgt. Bash, spun around and passed 101, with 101's automatic spike firing and pushing Centurion away. 101 was briefly impaled on the arena spikes but managed to steer away from trouble by using its track to steer around in a circle. Centurion pushed 101 into Sgt. Bash's CPZ, but the House Robot was outside his zone and did not arrive before 101 escaped. Meanwhile, 101 took command of the battle by pushing Centurion into the side wall.

101 centurion

101 pushes Centurion into the side wall

Centurion killalot

Sir Killalot dislodges Centurion's forks

"Ray Tait wants to go and work for NASA, the space agency. Well, hardly a performance out of this world, for either of these robots so far."
— Jonathan Pearce

Centurion became stuck on the arena wall, and despite 101's spike pushing it away, it could not move off the wall. Sir Killalot and Dead Metal closed in, and Sir Killalot's claw sliced Centurion's front, dislodging the lifting forks. Cease was called.

"The Roman wars are about to come to an end here! Et tu, Killalote? Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it "in for me"!"
— Jonathan Pearce, referring to Caesar's assassination with two famous quotes, the first from Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar, the second being from the film Carry On Cleo

Winner: 101

King Buxton vs Weld-DorEdit

Philippa Forrester: "Nothing I need to know about? No technical traumas?"
Phil Brett: "No, no...couple of scratches"
Philippa Forrester: "Yeah, I know, that's not technical trauma."
Simon Harrison: "It is for us"
Philippa Forrester: "Its vanity, for goodness sake."
— King Buxton's pre-match interview
"Love and peace? I'll give them a few technical traumas unless they get it on here!"
— Jonathan Pearce, on the friendly working relationship between King Buxton and Weld-Dor
King Buxton Weld-Dor 3

Weld-Dor misses with its axe

Weld-dor king buxton

King Buxton inside Weld-Dor's wheelhub

King Buxton and Weld-Dor both attempted to push their weapons against the other, and King Buxton drove up the side of Weld-Dor. It reversed off; dodging Weld-Dor's axe, and ran up it again, pushing it around. It took one axe blow doing this, but got its forks in a position to block the next. King Buxton pushed Weld-Dor towards the pit twice, driving up onto Weld-Dor on the second attempt. It then circled around and pushed Weld-Dor towards the flame pit, pressing its fork into the wheel arch. King Buxton mistakenly drove itself onto the flames by accident, but managed to make up for this by pushing and dragging Weld-Dor around the arena, its spike still lodged into the wheel arch.

"That’s King Buxton dragging Weld-Dor across the arena for one purpose – to push it towards the pit. Towards the pit. Ooh, they’re trying – Simon Harrison there – just to turn Weld-Dor towards the pit."
— Jonathan Pearce

King Buxton attempted to push Weld-Dor into the pit, but failed to do so. King Buxton then dragged Weld-Dor back and revealed damage had been inflicted to Weld-Dor's left wheel, before ramming it into the side wall - ironically, the very same place where Centurion had been immobilised. Shunt then crossed the arena and rammed its snowplough into the pair, freeing King Buxton from the wheel arch. Weld-Dor seemed unable to move away from the wall, and King Buxton slammed into it, pressing it against the wall. King Buxton charged again, but Weld-Dor's lifter raised King Buxton, smashing its charge against the rounded body and bending one of the prongs completely out of place. Despite the offensive move, Weld-Dor had broken down, and the House Robots attacked. Sir Killalot sliced through Weld-Dor’s axe and took away the weapon.

King buxton weld-dor

King Buxton slams Weld-Dor into the side wall

Killalot weld-dor king buxton

Killalot drills into Weld-Dor

"I don't know, but I think Weld-Dor here has been immobilised and it could be - moments ago, we saw a problem with the wheel on the left...oh look at Killalot! In with the pincers! Merciless! Off goes the ostrich feather. No weapons left then on Weld-Dor, and I’m sorry boys, very little hope."
— Jonathan Pearce

Shunt’s axe damaged the dome of Weld-Dor, and Sir Killalot drilled into the shell, lifting it off the ground. Despite minor harassment from King Buxton, Sir Killalot carried Weld-Dor around and placed Weld-Dor into the pit.

Philippa Forrester: "And congratulations on being such lovely friends and having a little go at Sir Killalot like that. It was like a flea on a dog."
Jonathan Pearce: "Killalot’s just been onto me King Buxton – he wants your phone number. In the final, you're up against 101."
— After the battle

Winner: King Buxton

Heat FinalEdit

101 vs King BuxtonEdit

Mike Franklin: "We want revenge, because they beat us last time, with Robo Doc"
Philippa Forrester: "Ohhhh, I remember."
Simon Harrison: "Who'd have thought it'd come to this. We're going to have to fight like demons to beat you, but we must."
— The hot rivalry
King buxton 101

101 drives off King Buxton's top

101 king buxton

King Buxton shoves 101

The robots moved off to a steady start, and 101 was the robot to push beneath King Buxton, and pushed it back until King Buxton drove off. King Buxton then met 101 and the cheap robot slid on top of Buxton, sitting on top. 101 managed to place part of its tracks on the ground, and drove off King Buxton easily. King Buxton was given trouble by the arena spikes, but quickly escaped and pushed 101 broadside into Matilda. 101 then drove into the single spike and was bumped, but met King Buxton again, kicking its opponent away with its automatic spike. King Buxton stopped briefly near the flame pit, but 101 kicked it over the flames and into Dead Metal. King Buxton took damage from the circular saws mounted on the wall, but ended up knocking the circular saw out of position. King Buxton escaped and rammed 101 broadside once more.

"And there the circular saws on the arena wall, taking damage themselves and I think put out of play, the circular saw there."
— Jonathan Pearce
Shunt king buxton

Buxton attacked by Shunt

King buxton vs 101

King Buxton starts smoking in the final seconds

It lost its purchase briefly and ran into the side wall, but quickly recovered and slammed back into 101. King Buxton pushed 101 into the side wall after escaping Shunt, but 101 drove on top of King Buxton and positioned itself behind. 101 was now pushing King Buxton into the side wall. The two robots crashed into Shunt whilst battling around the arena, and King Buxton took a blow from the axe. Buxton escaped and ran back into 101, driving on top of one of the moving tracks, and being tussled by it before driving off.

"Very very close this so far. A good old tussle, isn't it?"
— Jonathan Pearce

King Buxton drove onto one of the tracks, and sat there with smoke beginning to pour from the machine. Buxton had slowed down significantly by now, and time began to tick down. 101 and King Buxton both remained mobile at the end, and the match was decided by the judges.

Craig Charles: "The judges have made their decision! Its unanimous - that surprised me - they've gone for 101! Can you believe it, you're through to the Series Semi-Finals!"
Mike Franklin: "Well that was for Robo Doc!"
Craig Charles: "Your revenge was sweet, was it?"
Mike Franklin: "Revenge was very sweet."
— The grudge is 1-1

101 was put through to the semi-finals.

Heat Winner: 101

"We're not anoraks, geeks or bores, we're just addicted, to Robot Wars!"
— Craig Charles' sign-off

Special EventEdit

SpectreGeneralFootball

The General beats Matilda

Between Round 1 and Round 2 of each heat, a Special Event or Trial took place. For Heat J, it was the final Robotic Soccer heat.

Spectre vs The GeneralEdit

Winner: The General


Trivia Edit

  • Centurion and Weld-Dor, very similarly designed machines, both fought through Round 1 but fell in Round 2 by breaking down beside the same wall.
  • King Buxton's prongs broke in both of its victories.
  • The famous 101/King Buxton rivalry was addressed here, with 101 defeating King Buxton to make the score 1-1.
  • This episode was filmed on Amy Franklin's birthday.
  • The four battle winners from this heat went on to be seeded in The Fourth Wars, those being 101, King Buxton in the form of King B3, Centurion, and Weld-Dor, in the form of Weld-Dor 2.
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