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"The chainsaw revs again. The teeth rip and tear. No tender loving care. As our valiant heroes bravely battle on. Their mission to boldly go where these bots have gone before. To the series semi-final. More competitors than ever before. More spinning and winning. Let's bash and crash. Let's rip and rend. Boo-hoos if you lose. No tears. Let's crank the gears! It's time for fears! It's time for Robot Wars!"
— Jonathan Pearce's introduction

Heat N of Robot Wars: The Third Wars (also referred to in recaps as Heat 14) was the fourteenth of sixteen heats which determined the Semi-Finalists of Robot Wars: The Third Wars. The episode featuring Heat N was originally broadcast on 17 March 2000 on BBC Two. The broadcast managed to attract 5.21 million viewers, a decrease of 640,000 viewers when compared with the previous episode. According to BARB, this meant it fell to second in the top thirty highest rated BBC 2 broadcasts during 13-19 March, behind Journeys to the Bottom of the Sea.

"I don’t trust technology. I mean we reckon computers are so intelligent, that we put them in charge of things like life support machines. And the other day, I played my computer at chess and I won! And I’m terrible at chess; I thought a pawn was a Chinese delicacy. Then there’s the one in my car that does everything. It tells me where to go, when I’m driving too fast. On long journeys, I half expect myself fighting with the radio. And I still can’t set the clock! But what can we do? We have to embrace new things like robots, or at least have fun watching them tear each other apart for a place in our Robot Wars semi-finals. Revenge is sweet!"
— Craig Charles' introduction

Competing Robots[]

Newcomers[]

Cerberus S3 Crop
Cerberus
Weight 83.0kg
Dimensions 0.53 x 1.50 x 0.79m
Clearance 0.30m
Power 2 x 24V Motors
Weapons Circular Saw & Steel Claws
Notes Cost £800
From: London
Team Members: Theo Kaccoufa, Vaso Vassiliou & Alex Wink
Crippler S3 Crop
Crippler
Weight 79.7kg
Dimensions 1.27 x 1.04 x 0.66m
Clearance 0.15m
Power Wheelchair Motors
Weapons Executioner's Axe
Notes Full 360 Degree Control
From: Manchester
Team Members: Barry Willetts, Christopher Willetts & Steven Willetts
Prizephita S3 Crop
Prizephita
Weight 71.2kg
Dimensions 0.50 x 1.16 x 0.61m
Clearance 0.60m
Power 2 x Wheelchair Motors
Weapons Front Uppercut and Rear Jab
Notes Renewable Acrylic Shell
From: Surrey
Team Members: Roy Alcock, Eddy Alcock & Philip Chaplin
Thing II
Thing 2
Weight 76.3kg
Dimensions 0.52 x 0.84 x 0.76m
Clearance Variable
Power 2 x 4 Pole OC Motors
Weapons Lifting Arm with Spike
Notes Cost £1,500
From: Surrey
Team Members: Nick Adams, Isabelle Adams & Jake Adams

Veterans[]

All Torque S3 Crop
All Torque
Weight 79.4kg
Dimensions 0.25 x 1.01 x 0.97m
Clearance 0.30m
Power 2 x 750W Motors
Weapons Front Scoop
Notes Custom Made Tyres
From: Edinburgh
Team Members: Martyn Sloss, Richie McBride & Robin Iddon
Daisy Chopper S3 Crop
Daisy Chopper
Weight 77.8kg
Dimensions 0.88 x 0.94 x 1.05m
Clearance Variable
Power 2 x Motors
Weapons Vertical Flywheel
Notes Cost £250
From: Surrey
Team Members: Eric Hodgins, Martin Beckett & Neil Hodgins
Griffon S3 Crop
Griffon
Weight 78.7kg
Dimensions 0.12 x 1.27 x 0.77m
Clearance 0.15m
Power 2 x 750W Motors
Weapons Lifting Arm
Notes Polycarbonate Shell
From: Berkshire
Team Members: Oliver Steeples & Ben Steeples
Killerhurtz S3 Crop
Killerhurtz
Weight 83.1kg
Dimensions 0.90 x 1.41 x 0.74m
Clearance 0.40m
Power 2 x 24V Motors
Weapons Axe with Interchangeable Heads
Notes Microprocessor Controlled
From: Oxfordshire
Team Members: John Reid, Dominic Parkinson & Rebecca Reaston-Brown

Round 1[]

Philippa Forrester: "Everyone's in for the chop when they come across Crippler."
Jonathan Pearce: "Will All Torque be, Philippa? They line up against Crippler's scoop and axe. Killerhurtz, there is beauty and destruction against Cerberus, a growler in shiny packaging. Daisy Chopper, the penny farthing of robots against Griffon, the big bad vole brothers. Thing 2 threatening to magically flush away Prizephita, Mike Tyson's head on Craig Charles' body!"
— Lead up to the first round

All Torque vs Crippler[]

All Torque vs Crippler

All Torque slams Crippler into the wall

All Torque started the battle by charging into Crippler and then barging it against the arena wall. Crippler's axe came down, but caused no damage to All Torque's shell. Crippler came forward slightly, before All Torque slammed them twice in quick succession. Crippler then drifted over the set of arena spikes, which allowed All Torque to charge at them once more.

"It's a quick, nifty robot."
— Jonathan Pearce on All Torque
TorquepitsCrippler

All Torque forces Crippler into the pit

All Torque backed away, and then, as Crippler made its way towards the centre of the arena, All Torque attacked it side on and drove it across the arena and down into the pit.

"And immediately, the bulldozer of All Torque pushing Crippler into the pit."
— Jonathan Pearce

Winner: All Torque

Killerhurtz vs Cerberus[]

"It's not just All Torque. That's a good robot. An impressive victory against Crippler. And Killerhurtz up against Cerberus next."
— Jonathan Pearce
Killerhurtz vs cerberus

Killerhurtz axes Cerberus...

Killerhurtz suicide

....but then commits suicide

Killerhurtz made its way towards Cerberus, before stopping, as Cerberus spun on the spot. Cerberus then drove towards Killerhurtz, who slammed its axe down on the head of Cerberus. Cerberus pushed once more, with Killerhurtz firing its axe again as it was forced back. Cerberus then retreated, with its back facing Killerhurtz; Killerhurtz came on the attack and axed Cerberus again, this time causing notable damage, putting a hole into Cerberus' shell, and partially smashed a battery. Suddenly, after a short period with little action, Killerhurtz drove away from Cerberus, and as it was turning, drove straight into the pit.

"How much bite has now been taken out of the dog from the underworld? Oh no, Killerhurtz has gone straight into the pit! Oh, what a disaster there, for John Reid at the controls!"
— Jonathan Pearce speculates how effective Cerberus will be without its circular saw before the battle turns on its head
John Reid: "I cannot believe I did that."
Philippa Forrester: "Well we thought it was quite funny."
— The post match interview

Winner: Cerberus

Daisy Chopper vs Griffon[]

"Ugh. Spots and scabs? Pick one for me. Cerberus through. Killerhurtz, "you're driving is the pits, man!” Daisy Chopper and Griffon up next."
— Jonathan Pearce
RW3GriffonLiftDaisyChopper

Griffon lifts Daisy Chopper

Griffon lifts Bash

Griffon unsuccessfully tries to flip Sgt. Bash

Daisy Chopper made its way towards Griffon, who didn't move for a couple of seconds. Daisy Chopper's weapon made contact with Griffon, before Griffon used its lifting arm at the wrong moment.

"Looks like some great thing from the Industrial Revolution; from a sewing mill or something."
— Jonathan Pearce on Daisy Chopper

Griffon then pursued Daisy Chopper and used its lifting arm again, this time flicking Daisy Choppers weapon over to the other side.

"This is a curious battle."
— Jonathan Pearce

Daisy Chopper moved away from Griffon to gets its weapon up to speed, before driving towards Griffon and hitting it again, causing little damage. Griffon lifted Daisy Chopper, who fell onto its caster on the other side. Griffon then stopped for a short period, while one of Daisy Chopper's tyres seemed to jam up.

"Ooh, now, look at the tyre! Has one of the tyres, there, been lifted away from its wheel base?"
— Jonathan Pearce as Daisy Chopper has problems with one of its tyres

Griffon finally came back to life after a small touch from Shunt, but drove into Sgt. Bash. Griffon got away, but struggled for mobility once more, before suddenly driving forward, and slamming into the arena wall inside Sgt. Bash's CPZ. Griffon got out, but then slid underneath Sgt. Bash and lifted it, but couldn't fully topple it over.

"That's great stuff! Well done, Oliver! Lifting up Bash, the House Robot. He'll be annoyed."
— Jonathan Pearce as Griffon lifts Sgt. Bash

Griffon then drove into Dead Metal, and tried to flip it, but Dead Metal sliced into Griffon's lifting arm. Cease was called, and the judges gave Griffon the win.

"I wouldn't like to call that one, but the judges have given it to Griffon!"
— Craig Charles

After the fight, the Daisy Chopper team appealed against the decision, and the judges reconsidered their verdict. But Griffon still won by two to one.

"Ooh a split decision. They say they'll be back, Daisy Chopper. Griffon go through though and next up, Thing 2 against the Prizephita."
— Jonathan Pearce

Winner: Griffon

Thing 2 vs Prizephita[]

"Will Prizephita have the punch? Ding ding! Round 1!"
— Jonathan Pearce as the battle starts
ThingPrizephita

Thing 2 strands Prizephita against the arena wall

Prizephita got the first flip on Thing 2, but it stayed the right way up. Thing 2 then reversed into Prizephita and lifted it slightly with its back spike, before running away and then attacking Prizephita side on. Prizephita's ground clearance and curved side made itself easy to get turned over on Thing 2's wedge, but it self-righted with the boxing glove.

"There's the srimech, the self-righting mechanism, the flipper, the lifting arm, which rights itself. So important in this series of Robot Wars."
— Jonathan Pearce as Prizephita rights itself

Thing 2 attacked once more and slammed into the side of Prizephita, who was nearly toppled again, but this time landed back on its wheels. Thing 2 continued to pressure Prizephita, and charged at it again, toppling it over and ramming it into the arena wall. Thing 2 kept close to Prizephita, and bundled it towards the CPZ as it attempted to self-right. After the scuffle in the CPZ, Sgt. Bash got Prizephita's boxing glove caught on the arena wall.

"In the red corner! And staying there, Prizephita, I should think."
— Jonathan Pearce as Prizephita is attacked in the CPZ

Sgt. Bash torched Prizephita and Matilda came in as well, before Shunt freed Prizephita, who, at this point had become immobilised. Shunt axed it repeatedly, before Cease was called.

"Well. Prizephita goes down in the first round. Thing is through to our second."
— Craig Charles

Winner: Thing 2

Round 2[]

All Torque vs Thing 2[]

Thing 2 vs All Torque 1

Thing 2 and All Torque in close quarters

Thing 2 vs All Torque 2

All Torque holds Thing 2 under Shunt's axe

Both robots charged towards each other, with All Torque clipping Thing 2. The two collided again, before All Torque got under the front of Thing 2 and forced it towards the arena wall. Thing 2 got away and the two danced around each other, with Thing 2 trying to line up an attack. All Torque shoved Thing 2 towards the arena wall again, before Thing 2 decided to try to use their spike. Another short scuffle took place, and the action wandered towards Shunt's CPZ, where Thing 2 suffered from an axe blow. All Torque pushed Thing 2 again, but took damage from Shunt itself, before both robots got away from the CPZ.

"Splendid battle, this, now."
— Jonathan Pearce
Thing II vs All Torque

Thing 2 pins All Torque against the arena wall

All Torque axed

Shunt and Sgt. Bash trap All Torque

Thing 2 then got underneath All Torque from the back and lunged it into the arena wall. Both robots met head on again and a short pushing match ensued. Thing 2 slammed into the front of All Torque and then followed it up with a side attack, sliding under All Torque, and forcing it straight into Shunt's CPZ. All Torque narrowly missed an attack from Shunt as it reversed, before Thing 2 fed it into the House Robot again, where All Torque sustained damage from Shunt.

"A bash, a crash, metal crinkled and buckled and bent."
— Jonathan Pearce as All Torque is axed by Shunt

Shunt ended up breaking All Torque's radio receiver, immobilising it.

Winner: Thing 2

Griffon vs Cerberus[]

Griffon pitted quickly

Cerberus achieves the quickest ever pitting

Griffon moved slowly forwards, before stopping. Cerberus used this opportunity to attack Griffon side on and push in straight into the pit before it could start up again, before nudging it slightly further in with the tail end afterwards. It was the quickest battle of the series at ten seconds, and was the quickest ever for four series and two Extremes. It remains the quickest battle not to involve an out of the arena flip, and the quickest battle where a robot pitted the other.

"London against Berkshire. Cerberus, the London team, glossy and shiny. Don't forget, it has that steel-head RAM to push Griffon into the pit straight away!"
— Jonathan Pearce's entire commentary for Griffon vs Cerberus

Winner: Cerberus

Heat Final[]

"Well. Two robots left quaking in the trenches, about to go over the top for a place in our series semi-final."
— Craig Charles

Thing 2 vs Cerberus[]

Thing 2 Cerberus

Cerberus pushes Thing 2 around

Thing 2 under Cerberus

Thing 2 gets underneath Cerberus

Cerberus Thing 2

Cerberus overturned

The two robots drove around each other to start with, with Cerberus swinging its tail into Thing 2. Cerberus backed away and spun, before Thing 2 got underneath Cerberus and pushed it slightly. Cerberus hung around the flame pit before the two collided into each other.

"Thing 2 shoving the dog from Hades towards the flaming pit from hell."
— Jonathan Pearce

Cerberus forced Thing 2 across the arena, causing one of the side balls to come off. The two scrapped next to the arena wall, there Cerberus lingered near the flame pit before Thing 2 charged at Cerberus, but drove up and over its lifting tail and ended up in the CPZ with Matilda. Thing 2 escaped, and after a short period of time, got underneath Cerberus and dislodged the tail linkage. Then with some clever steering Thing 2 rolled Cerberus over, thus winning the heat.

"And the dog from Hades is showing its underbelly, and it wants a little bit of a tickle, and it wants respite and relief, because Cerberus has been dogged to death by Thing 2."
— Jonathan Pearce

Heat Winner: Thing 2

"When my gran's watching telly, she normally snores, but she's shouting "bash 'em senseless", on Robot Wars!"
— Craig Charles signs off

Special Event[]

InquisitorPinball

Inquisitor lifts Matilda

Between Round 1 and Round 2 of each heat, a Special Event or Trial took place. For Heat N, it was the eighth Pinball Warrior run, featuring Inquisitor Mk. 2.

Score: 70 points

Trivia[]

Prizephita s3 stats

Prizephita's statistics board displayed with the Rattus Rattus team members

  • Heat N was the only Heat in Series 3 in which all eight competing teams would feature in another main competition, either future or previous wars.
  • Heat N featured three robots that would compete in The First World Championship, none of which represented England.
  • Heat N was the debut of the vertical spinner in Daisy Chopper which, much like the team's other robot with a debut weapon Caliban, got eliminated in the first round.
  • Heat N saw Cerberus defeat Griffon and break the shortest battles record, and retain it all the way until Series 7.
    • Cerberus' battle with Griffon and All Torque's battle with Crippler ranked third and equal twenty-first respectively, prior to the reboot which pushed each down to fifth and twenty-ninth.
  • In this heat, Prizephita's statistics board mistakenly displayed the names of the Rattus Rattus team instead.
  • Daisy Chopper's statistics board referred to its vertical flywheel as a circular saw or a hammer.
  • Heat N was the first time in Robot Wars' history where the losing team declared they were going to appeal the judges' decision. Daisy Chopper did not agree with the judges' verdict that they lost to Griffon in their first round battle and informed Philippa Forrester in the post-battle interview that they would be appealing the decision. The decision stood, with Forrester providing the losing team with the judges' notes and scoring sheets from the battle.
  • For unknown reasons, Heat N was not shown on H2 when they aired Series 3 in early 2016. Instead, Heat M was shown again. However, it was eventually shown on the channel at sometime.
  • Team Predator and Cerberus would also appear in Heat P of Series 4 with both falling in the first round of the heat. Killerhurtz would also appear in that heat as well, albeit in the Pinball.
  • This heat was the first appearance of the Adams Family and their successful Wild Thing robot.

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