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"Position vaccines. Wanted: one robot to complete our semi-final line-up. Applicants must be ready to rock 'n' roll. Dance a waltz, a terrible tango. Saints alive, a jive too. No we don't need dancing or prancing. We need crashing. And smashing and bashing. However they've done it so far. In and under, over the top. Fifteen robots through. Who will join them, with a shove, or a push? Now listen. Just sshh roboteers. You think you're up for the chop? You'll have to shoot down the Robot Wars lob!"
— Jonathan Pearce's introduction

Heat P of Robot Wars: The Third Wars was the sixteenth and last heat which determined the Semi-Finalists of Robot Wars: The Third Wars. The episode featuring Heat P was originally broadcast on March 31, 2000 on BBC Two. The episode managed to attract 5.32 million viewers, an increase of 480,000 viewers when compared with the previous episode. According to BARB, this meant it ranked first in the top thirty highest rated BBC Two broadcasts during 27 March-2 April.

"Robots fall into two groups: either you’re terminators, psychopathic killing machines who sort of cut off your arms and say “How ya diddlin’?”, or they’re like C-3P0, always packing a light lunch whenever Luke Skywalker goes on a suicide mission. So, under which category do the robots in Robot Wars fall? After all, some of them are cute, some of them are colourful, and some of them are the demon lovechild of a microwave oven and a vacuum cleaner. The thing is, whatever they look like, the eight robots here to do battle for a place in our series semi-finals are terminators every last one. Let’s just hope I’m not the one they’ve come back to kill!"
— Craig Charles' introduction

Competing RobotsEdit

NewcomersEdit

Psychokiller
Psychokiller
Weight 83.3kg
Dimensions 0.68 x 1.33 x 0.81m
Clearance Variable
Power 2 x Electric Motors
Weapons Axe
Notes Build Time: 3 Months
From: The Wirral
Team Members: Stephen Burns, Martin Burns, Matthew Carroll
Rattus Rattus
Rattus Rattus
Weight 78.8kg
Dimensions 0.58 x 1.37 x 0.71m
Clearance Variable
Power 24V Electric Motor
Weapons Grinder & Forward Facing Spikes
Notes Build Time: 3 Months
From: Guernsey
Team Members: Gary Pike, Richard Ozanne
Scarab UK
Scarab
Weight 80.0kg
Dimensions 0.76 x 1.30 x 0.35m
Clearance 0.60m
Power 2 x Wheelchair Motors
Weapons Hydraulic Jaws
Notes Build Time: 6 Months
From: Potters Bar
Team Members: Martin Eaves, Andrew Miles
Smidsy
S.M.I.D.S.Y.
Weight 77.3kg
Dimensions 0.25 x 1.05 x 0.65m
Clearance 0.20m
Power 4 x Electric Seat Motors
Weapons Crushing Jaws
Notes £750 Building Costs
From: Kent
Team Members: Mike Reed, Andy Pugh, Robin Bennett
Trident official image
Trident
Weight 76.5kg
Dimensions 0.61 x 1.24 x 0.73m
Clearance 0.60m
Power 2 x Drive Motors
Weapons Axe
Notes Build Time:250 Hours
From: Leeds
Team Members: Peter Benn, Neil Ward, Stephen Benn
Twn twrn official image
Twn Trwn
Weight 83.3kg
Dimensions 0.95 x 1.54 x 1.00m
Clearance 0.50m
Power 2 x 12V Wheelchair Motors
Weapons Front Ram
Notes Fibreglass Shell
From: North Wales
Team Members: Mark Harmsworth, Nicholas Barrowclough, Ian Wynne-Williams

VeteransEdit

Dreadnaut s3 arena
Dreadnaut
Weight 78.6kg
Dimensions 0.52 x 1.44 x 0.77m
Clearance 0.10m
Power 2 x 24V Wheelchair Motors
Weapons Forklift
Notes New Design for Body Shell
From: Nuneaton
Team Members: David Vowles, Faye Vowles
Victor 2
Victor 2
Weight 73.8kg
Dimensions 0.86 x 1.40 x 0.43m
Clearance 0.38m
Power 2 x 12V Wheelchair Motors
Weapons Flail/Lawnmower Blade
Notes Rebuilt Over 6 Months
From: Surrey
Team Members: Guy Pickett, Gareth Goddard, Ken Goddard

Round 1Edit

"Too late for our robots to kiss and make-up now. Let the wars begin!"
— Craig Charles

Rattus Rattus vs S.M.I.D.S.Y.Edit

Rattus rattus vs smidsy

Rattus Rattus gets underneath S.M.I.D.S.Y.

Rattusvssmidsy

Rattus Rattus drives over S.M.I.D.S.Y.

Rattus rattus vs smidsy arenaspikes

Rattus Rattus pushes S.M.I.D.S.Y. onto the arena spikes

SMIDSY spike

S.M.I.S.D.Y. is bounced upwards by the Arena spike

S.M.I.D.S.Y. edged away at the start, while Rattus Rattus immediately went on the attack, sliding beneath and past S.M.I.D.S.Y. before reversing its grinder into the Cyberspace machine. S.M.I.D.S.Y. sat still, only opening its jaws as Rattus Rattus attacked again, but Rattus Rattus' attack resulted in it driving over an arena spike and being tossed up and down. During this, S.M.I.D.S.Y. had started to move. As Rattus Rattus tried to regather some composure from its incident involving the arena spike, S.M.I.D.S.Y. edged towards them; Rattus Rattus turned, however, and edged S.M.I.D.S.Y. towards Dead Metal. S.M.I.D.S.Y. got away from danger, as Rattus Rattus flew over and past them. Rattus Rattus crashed into S.M.I.D.S.Y. twice in quick succession, while S.M.I.D.S.Y. continued to weakly drive in Dead Metal's direction, and Rattus Rattus shunted it onto an arena spike.

"Really, S.M.I.D.S.Y. is doing very little attacking work, it's all Rattus Rattus..."
— Jonathan Pearce
Rattus Rattus burning

Rattus Rattus burns on the Flame pit

SMIDSY pit

Dead Metal puts S.M.I.D.S.Y. out

Both robots then spun around, before S.M.I.D.S.Y. slowly positioned itself back onto the arena spike, which bounced it three times, with Rattus Rattus then shoving it aside and getting bounced itself. Dead Metal seized S.M.I.D.S.Y., but its claws were too high to grasp it. Rattus Rattus came in to knock the escaping S.M.I.D.S.Y. back in towards the CPZ, but its bodyshell bumped into Dead Metal's claw and was knocked askew. Rattus Rattus slammed into reverse and escaped, but backed onto the flame pit, before Shunt came in and lifted Rattus Rattus up with its scoop, keeping it over the flame pit, causing it to smoke. Meanwhile, S.M.I.D.S.Y. was in a tussle with Sir Killalot, before zipping across the arena floor and into Dead Metal's claws. Rattus Rattus nudged into S.M.I.D.S.Y., keeping it in Dead Metal's grip, which then sliced into it. Dead Metal then wandered out of his CPZ and towards the pit, while still cutting into S.M.I.D.S.Y. before the House Robot stopped temporarily, and then pushed S.M.I.D.S.Y. into the pit, beaching himself over the edge in the process.

"S.M.I.D.S.Y.'s finished, I think Rattus Rattus deserved it in the end."
— Jonathan Pearce as S.M.I.D.S.Y. is pitted

In the post-battle interview, the S.M.I.D.S.Y. team noted that they would not have been able to fight if it weren't for their opposition lending them spare parts and tools.

Winner: Rattus Rattus

Twn Trwn vs TridentEdit

"Whiskers frazzled or not. Rattus Rattus through and next up, Twn Trwn against Trident."
— Jonathan Pearce
Trident axes Twn Trwn

The kill shot on Twn Trwn

Trident

Trident wins the battle

Twn Trwn vs house robots

Shunt and Matilda cause additional damage to Twn Trwn

The two machines crossed the arena tentatively, and Trident slammed its axe home on the huge body of Twn Trwn. Trident then pulled its axe free, and fibreglass crumbled away, with Twn Trwn coming to a halt. Trident nudged its foe twice, but with no resistance.

"It seems to lack weaponry...and just about everything else."
— Jonathan Pearce

Trident then moved over to the other side of its opponent and continued to nudge Twn Trwn, but out of respect for the effort put into the machine, did not attack with the axe. Sergeant Bash showed similar restraint, and Matilda and Shunt inflicted damage, but did not destroy the machine. Eventually, cease was called and Twn Trwn was eliminated.

Winner: Trident

Scarab vs Victor 2Edit

Scarab vs victor

Scarab catches Victor 2 side-on

Victor self damage

Victor 2's weapon comes loose and damages itself

Victor 2 charged at Scarab, but its left wheel clipped Scarab's jaws; Scarab kept its pincers around Victor 2's left wheel, although not doing damage. Scarab then backed away, and Victor 2 grazed Scarab with a reverse of its own. Scarab harassed Victor 2, whose flail tore off its own protective mesh.

"Something came flying out there - not too sure what it was... Ooh, it's the grille, look, the mesh."
— Jonathan Pearce
Scarab bounced

Scarab is bounced by the spikes

Victor 2 backed off and lined up an attack from a different angle, while Scarab continued its attack. Both robots swapped positions, spinning each other around, before Victor 2 managed to push Scarab onto the arena spikes, which lifted and stabbed at the undersides of Scarab. Evidently, the damage was terminal, because cease was called immediately.

"You know, this is the point of the spikes. You're not meant to be able to see them, but everyone really knows they're there"
— Philippa Forrester

Winner: Victor 2

Psychokiller vs DreadnautEdit

"Oop! Let's go into a war and oop! Forget about the enemy. Scarab, are you sure? Victor 2 through. Psychokiller next up with Dreadnaut."
— Jonathan Pearce
Killalot psychokiller

Sir Killalot slices off Psychokiller's axe

Dreadnaut psychokiller

Dreadnaut gouges welts in Psychokiller

Dreadnaut got underneath, and rammed Psychokiller with its lifting spikes, before turning away and spinning. Psychokiller temporarily stopped moving but then drove at Dreadnaut, clipping it with its side. The two robots then danced around each other, before Psychokiller drove off into the distance and into the arena wall. Dreadnaut nearly went into the arena wall on the opposite side of the arena and drove close to the pit, with the two robots then meeting once more near the centre of the arena. Both robots glanced each other, before Dreadnaut rammed Psychokiller - whose axe was now in an upright position - over the flame pit. Psychokiller accelerated, driving over the flame pit again, before fleeing the flames and running straight into Sir Killalot, who effortlessly sliced the axe of Psychokiller in half.

"They've got no weapon now! Look at it - what a sorry looking thing it is, sticking out. It looks like...an earbud, to clean your ears out, let alone take Dreadnaut on!"
— Jonathan Pearce
Psychokiller shunt flamepit

Dreadnaut shoves Psychokiller onto the flame pit where Shunt causes more damage

Dreadnaut carved a welt in Psychokiller with its fork while on the turn, with Psychokiller resorted to using its wedge, the only offensive move it had left, but Dreadnaut drove off the wedge before it could be flipped. Dreadnaut then shunted it into the same flame pit as earlier, allowing Shunt to slam its axe onto the body shell of Psychokiller. Shunt pushed Psychokiller aside, and Dreadnaut rammed it into Dead Metal. Here, it was tossed by the spike, toppled by Sir Killalot and continuously axed by Shunt.

Winner: Dreadnaut

Round 2Edit

"Lining up in Round 2 of Heat P, Rattus Rattus against Dreadnaut. Victor 2 and Trident. And don't forget, they've playing to fill the last place in our semi-final line-up."
— Jonathan Pearce

Dreadnaut vs Rattus RattusEdit

Dreadnaut rattus rattus

Dreadnaut nudges at the lifeless Rattus Rattus

ShuntChasesDreadnaught

Shunt chases after Dreadnaut

Rattusrattus vs matilda

Matilda pushes Rattus Rattus

Rattusrattus vs deadmetal

Dead Metal slices into Rattus Rattus

Dreadnaut came across the arena to meet Rattus Rattus, who had not moved since activate was sounded. Dreadnaut placed its forks underneath Rattus Rattus, before backing away and then clipping Rattus Rattus with a drive. Dreadnaut held back for a short period and lifted its forks into the air, as Rattus Rattus continued to show little signs of life. Dreadnaut then nudged Rattus Rattus against the arena wall.

"They say it came from the fourteenth century - well, the engines probably ground to a halt long ago since then."
— Jonathan Pearce

The House Robots then came out to play with the immobile Rattus Rattus, with Matilda ramming it, sending it across the arena floor. Shunt, Sgt. Bash, Dead Metal and Matilda all attacked, and cease was called.

Winner: Dreadnaut

Trident vs Victor 2Edit

"Well it was hardly a close squeak. Rattus Rattus out. Dreadnaut through to meet the winners of Victor 2 and Trident."
— Jonathan Pearce
Trident vs victor

Trident axes Victor 2's flail

"Well we're a bit worried about damaging their lovely, shiny bodywork, and we did say we'd put feather dusters on the ends, but we decided against it."
— Confidence from Victor 2

The battle started with the two robots clashing near the arena floor flipper. Trident struck Victor 2's top twice in quick succession, before Victor 2 moved away and the spun around. Trident then met Victor 2 head on, stopping the flail of its opponent and attacking twice more, with Victor 2 straying into Sgt. Bash's CPZ shortly after. Victor 2 was then pressured by Sgt. Bash and Trident, before getting away, but as Trident continued to press Victor 2, its flail stopped. Trident used this to hit Victor 2 with the axe again, before Victor 2 managed to revive its flail.

"And it's sparked into life again."
— Jonathan Pearce as Victor 2 temporarily resuscitates its weapon
Trident victor

Trident pushes Victor 2 down the pit

Trident brought its axe down, and kept it there, halting the flail once more. It was brought back to life briefly but conked out for good shortly afterwards. The weaponless Victor 2 spun around and dropped one of its wheels into the pit, teetering on the edge. Trident leaped at the advantage and pushed Victor 2 in.

"Victor 2... towards the pit! Spinning! Whirling, like a whirling dervish, but demonically in the pit!"
— Jonathan Pearce

Winner: Trident

Heat FinalEdit

"Back to Formula 1? Guy Pickett couldn't get the formulas right in the chemistry class. It's Trident in the Heat Final with Dreadnaut."
— Jonathan Pearce

Dreadnaut vs TridentEdit

Dreadnaut trident

Trident's major axe attack

Dreadnaut made its way towards Trident with its lifting forks raised. Trident swiftly positioned itself behind Dreadnaut and slammed its axe down on the domed machine twice. Dreadnaut pulled away and attempted to position its spikes to face Trident, dodging two axe blows in the process. Both robots kept their distance, before Trident attacked the forks, which appeared to be frozen. Dreadnaut edged slowly away, and Trident attack the forks once more, causing dents. Dreadnaut sat motionless as Trident dropped its axe down again, before Dreadnaut moved sluggishly across the arena, into the side wall.

"And the weaponry of Trident could be important here, because they've been the more adventurous, certainly."
— Jonathan Pearce

Trident pinned it to the side wall, before Dead Metal slammed into Dreadnaut and pushed it away. Dreadnaut was announced immobile by the judges, and the House Robots came out of their CPZs.

DreadnaughtAndTridentBothImmobile

Trident and Dreadnaut are both immobilised

Dreadnaut3

Dreadnaut sits immobile

Trident attacked

Trident is attacked

However, the House Robots all attacked Trident. Dead Metal carved welts into Trident's rear, whilst Shunt slammed his axe home and caused an immense dent in Trident's top.

"House Robots come from dark and dingy places; they do not like sleek and gleaming, shiny machines."
— Jonathan Pearce as the House Robots attack Trident

During Trident's plight, Dreadnaut sat completely undamaged, but it was ruled out of the competition.

"This is a party for us you see on Robot Wars. Trident the winners. We don't care. Take some of that. Poor old Dreadnaut long, long, long ago dead."
— Jonathan Pearce

Heat Winner: Trident

"The neighbours are banging on the studio doors, cos we won't keep the noise down on Robot Wars!"
— Craig Charles signs off

Special EventEdit

MortisPinball

Mortis gets itself stuck on the pit

Between Round 1 and Round 2 of each heat, a Special Event or Trial took place. For Heat P, it was the final Pinball Warrior run, featuring Mortis.

Score: 60 points

Trivia Edit

  • S.M.I.D.S.Y. (in its debut season) lost in Round 1 of the main competition for the only time in history, whereas Dreadnaut (spelt Dreadnaught in this heat) made it to the Heat Final stage for the only time.
  • This heat contained four debuting teams which would never return to Robot Wars after Series 3, including Heat Winner Trident. Another one of these robots was Scarab, the first robot to wield a horizontal crusher.
  • In the opening titles recap, the clips from Heats M and N were switched round.
  • The clip of Craig Charles saying "let's charge back into the wars" was a shortened version of it used from Heat L, presumably as the Pinball had finished in this heat.
  • This was the penultimate episode not to feature a heat finalist from a previous series in the line-up. The last episode would be Heat H of Series 7.
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