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"...and yes, Vinnie Jones is cowering behind the sofa, because it's the return of the Robotic Soccer cup!"
Craig Charles introduces Robotic Soccer in Series 3, Heat B

Robotic Soccer was a small side competition held throughout Robot Wars: The Third Wars, based on the Football Trial from the First and Second Wars.

Eight competing robots - most of which did not appear in the main series - were divided into four two-way qualifiers shown in various Heats, where they were required to score a single goal in order to secure a place in the final round. In the final - broadcast as part of the overall Grand Final - the first of the four finalists to score a goal would be declared the overall winner. In the event that no competitor scored, the last robot to remain mobile, or the robot which was considered the most active player by the Judges, would be declared victorious.

The House Robots used for this competition were Dead Metal as goalkeeper and Matilda as defender, with Sergeant Bash also appearing in the final.

Competing Robots[]

Clearance, Weapons and Notes were not included on the statistics boards for the Soccer competitors, and home towns were not announced

Velocirippa s3 arena
Velocirippa
Weight 75kg
Dimensions 0.5m x 0.9m x 0.45m
Power Electric
Team: Trevor Wright, Matthew Wright
Demolition Demon 2
Demolition Demon 2
Weight 75kg
Dimensions 0.7m x 0.2m x 0.3m
Power Electric
Team: Alan Rowse, Peter Harrison, Theo Mauger
Malfunktion
Malfunktion
Weight 74kg
Dimensions 0.4m x 1.2m x 0.6m
Power Electric
Team: Malcolm Darlow, David Glenister, Darren Finigan
Gnasher football
Gnasher
Weight 79.2kg
Dimensions 0.5m x 1m x 0.5m
Power Electric
Team: Mark Bailey, Steve Brady
Evilweevil s3 arena
Evil Weevil
Weight 74kg
Dimensions 0.3m x 1.0m x 0.7m
Power Electric
Team: Kevin Pritchard, Andrew Davies, Michael Walsh
Alien Football
Alien
Weight 70kg
Dimensions 0.40m x 1.20m x 0.60m
Power Electric
Team: Jon Dunn, Charlotte Dunn, Raymond Dunn
The general
The General
Weight 79kg
Dimensions 0.40m x 0.90m x 0.60m
Power 2 x 24V Motors
Team: Alan James, Tom James, Haydn James
Spectre
Spectre
Weight 63kg
Dimensions 0.50m x 0.90m x 0.40m
Power 2 x 24V Motors
Team: Paul Howell, Mark Howell, Joe Hawkins

Other robots, including Razer[1] and Miss Struts[2], were due to compete, but their matches were cancelled following a behind-the-scenes accident. The latter robots instead entered - and won - the Pinball Competition and one of the Walker Battles, respectively.

Qualifiers[]

Velocirippa vs Demolition Demon 2[]

"So it’s easy chaps! All you’ve gotta do is stick the ball in the net! Easy peasy! Yep, that’s what we thought about England!"
— Jonathan Pearce at the start of the match
MatildaBlocksVelocirippa

Matilda blocks Velocirippa

This qualifier was held as part of Heat B. Velocirippa had the quicker start, driving down the arena towards the ball, whilst Matilda drove over to try and stop Demolition Demon 2. Matilda drove around Demolition Demon 2, which slowly moved towards the ball, but Velocirippa got to the ball first. As Velocirippa rammed the ball towards the goal charging at it, but Matilda stopped the ball, and blocked Velocirippa as it tried to regain possession.

"Matilda, good solid chunky full back. Don't think you'd see many pin-up pictures of Matilda in soccer strips, would you?"
— Jonathan Pearce as Matilda blocks the ball
MatildaFootballMistake

Matilda accidentally gives the ball away

VelocirippaDD2Football

Velocirippa scores

Velocirippa reversed, and Matilda pushed the ball to the side of the arena. Whilst the competitors waited in the centre of the arena, Matilda drove to the ball and flicked it to the centre of the arena, but as she did so, Velocirippa charged at the ball, intercepting it and pushing it straight towards the goal. Dead Metal rushed off his line, but missed his charge, allowing Velocirippa to score, putting itself through to the final.

"Mistake by Matilda, well we might have thought that would happen, but look at Velocirippa, great pace, puts the goalkeeper Dead Metal the wrong way, super goal! We never even saw Demolition Demon, really! Bigger, taller, heavier, but it's David against Goliath, and David goes through in the shape of Velocirippa!"
— Jonathan Pearce after Velocirippa scores


Malfunktion vs Gnasher[]

This qualifier was one of two held as part of Heat E.

"…let’s get stuck into a game of Robotic Soccer, where silky smooth soccer skills are about as much use as an Eskimo’s hedge trimmer!"
Craig Charles before the match
GnasherFirstToBall

Gnasher gets to the ball first

Gnasherscores

Gnasher scores

The two robots slowly moved towards the ball, with Gnasher getting close to the ball first, but missed its charge and drove past the ball. Malfunktion was close to the ball, but as Matilda drove at it, Malfunktion reversed into her, leaving the ball open for Gnasher. Gnasher pushed the ball up the arena, but as it got close to the goal, Matilda rammed into its side, and then Dead Metal knocked the ball away. As the ball hit the wall, Dead Metal held Gnasher in its arms to keep it still. Dead Metal let Gnasher go, and Gnasher got to the ball. Dead Metal suddenly turned away from Gnasher, giving it a clear shot on the goal, and Gnasher took advantage, pushing the ball in. Dead Metal tried to stop the ball, but it was too late. Gnasher had scored and was through to the final.

"Well, looking back it wasn’t perhaps goal of the season because of Dead Metal’s dreadful positioning in goal – went absent without leave!"
— Jonathan Pearce watched the replay

Evil Weevil vs Alien[]

This was the second qualifier shown in Heat E.

EvilWeevilgetsball

Evil Weevil gets to the ball

Evil Weevil started by charging at the ball, as Matilda came out to block it. Evil Weevil drove past Matilda’s front, and then reversed into her, pushing her back. Evil Weevil pushed the ball down the arena, into one of the arena boards at the bottom. The ball bounced away, but Matilda got to the ball before Evil Weevil could.

"Quick to get the early possession, going the wrong way, slamming it against the arena boards."
— Jonathan Pearce
EvilWeevilramsAlienintowall

Evil Weevil rams Alien into the wall

Evil Weevil rushed over as Matilda tried to flick the ball away from the wall. Evil Weevil was hit by Matilda's tusks as she turned, and crashed into the wall. Evil Weevil reversed straight onto Matilda's tusks, quickly getting away, but drove into an arena board. Evil Weevil reversed into Matilda, trying to stop her getting to the ball, but Matilda pushed past it, knocking the ball off the bottom wall. Evil Weevil reversed as Matilda flicked the ball away from the arena board. As Alien tried to get to the ball, Evil Weevil charged at its side, ramming it into the wall.

"Evil Weevil also, fouling Alien, but anything goes really, in the Robot Wars Soccer championship!"
— Jonathan Pearce as Evil Weevil rams into Alien

Evil Weevil reversed for another charge, which gave Alien a moment to push the ball away, and Evil Weevil missed its charge. Alien pushed the ball down the arena, and Evil Weevil reversed after it. As the ball went into the bottom arena wall, Alien turned around to try and get the ball away, but this gave Evil Weevil a chance to get to the ball. Evil Weevil rammed into the ball, but couldn't get it free, with the ball merely rolling up its spikes, then falling back. Evil Weevil struggled to move, and Matilda came in, flicking the ball away from the wall, but Evil Weevil pushed the ball, knocking it back into the wall.

"A bit of a stand off-situation between Evil Weevil and Matilda..."
— Jonathan Pearce as Evil Weevil tries to get to the ball
EvilWeevilMatildaBall

Matilda and Evil Weevil struggle for the ball at the bottom of the arena

Meanwhile, Alien drove over an arena spike, which flicked it onto its side. Dead Metal came over to tip it back onto its wheels, but it had broken down. Evil Weevil continued to nudge the ball, but couldn't get it away from the wall; one of its decorative antennae fell off as it did so, until it got at the side. Before Evil Weevil could get control of the ball, Matilda got the the ball, but she accidentally knocked the ball straight into Evil Weevil, and Evil Weevil was able to push the ball past her. Evil Weevil pushed the ball away from the arena board, gave Matilda a push, then pushed the ball up the arena. As the ball hit the arena board, Evil Weevil drove past the ball, and reversed into it, knocking it away from the wall.

"Difficult to see what they're trying to do here, eventually ... oh there's, that's it, the... the... the... the goal boys! That is the aim of the game."
— Jonathan Pearce questions Evil Weevil's tactics
MatildaBlocksEvilWeevilShot

Matilda blocks Evil Weevil's shot on goal

Matilda got to the ball, flicking it away from the wall, and pushing it to the centre, close to the goal. Evil Weevil seemed to be having steering problems, as it turned and drove into the goal.

"Well, Evil Weevil's gone in the goal net, minus ball, don't think that counts lads!"
— Jonathan Pearce

Evil Weevil drove to the centre of the arena, but despite having a clear shot at the goal, decided to turn around and reverse into the ball. Matilda rushed in to block the ball, with the ball bouncing into the air. Cease was eventually called, and Evil Weevil was put through to the final due to being mobile for longer and having more possession and shots.

The General vs Spectre[]

Spectre general football

Spectre 'tackles' The General

The final Qualifier was shown as part of Heat J. The two competitors moved forwards, but The General was quicker, getting to the ball first, driving between the ball and Matilda and knocking the ball aside. The General managed to charge at the ball before Matilda did, but missed its charge, so reversed, but didn’t drive at the right angle to push the ball forward, so the ball rolled aside. Matilda rushed to the ball, pushing it down the arena. The General rammed into the side of Matilda, but Matilda drove forwards over the scoop. Before Matilda could get to the ball, The General rammed into her back, and Matilda had to turn away. However, The General’s scoop became stuck under one of the arena barriers, until it reversed out from under it, driving into Spectre.

"No good actually, tackling one another there boys, you need to get hold of the ball!"
— Jonathan Pearce as The General reverses into Spectre

Matilda drove up the arena, and The General charged at the ball, with Spectre following close behind. The General pushed the ball across the arena, briefly becoming stuck on the wall, until Spectre drove between it and the ball, getting under The General’s scoop with its wedge and pushing The General against the wall. However, The General pushed back, and got at the ball, pushing it up the arena.

SpectreGeneralFootball

Matilda tries to block The General

"…and it’s The General with the control, and I thought that front ram may well come in useful!"
— Jonathan Pearce as The General pushes the ball up the arena

Matilda was ready to block as The General pushed the ball into one of the top arena bumpers, but turned at just the wrong moment. Matilda turned to face The General just as The General flicked the ball towards goal, so the ball rolled past her. Matilda turned back, pushing the ball into the goal, sending The General through.

Final[]

Velocirippa vs Gnasher vs Evil Weevil vs The General[]

The Robotic Soccer final was shown as part of the Grand Final.

"Forget your Jules Rimet trophy, forget your European Champions League, this is the big one! The Robot Wars Robotic Soccer cup final!"
— Jonathan Pearce at the start of the match
Gnasher Matilda Soccer Final

Gnasher rises to early challenges from Matilda

VelocirippaBurntOut

Velocirippa lays immobile following a relay burnout

As the robots moved forwards, Velocirippa got closest to the ball first, but missed its charge, driving into Sergeant Bash. Velocirippa quickly reversed to get away from the House Robot, reversing past the ball. The General tried to get to the ball, but Matilda got at its side and lifted it up with her forks, leaving Gnasher to get to the ball first. Gnasher started to push the ball up the arena, but one of its prongs was bent, and the ball started to slip away. Matilda rushed in front of Gnasher, blocked it and knocked the ball away. As Matilda turned away, Gnasher went after the ball again, but as it got to the ball and started pushing, Matilda rushed over to block. Matilda pushed the ball away from Gnasher. Gnasher turned and drove after the ball, but both of its prongs were now bent, having bent the other one on impact with Matilda. Meanwhile, Velocirippa had broken down near the top of the arena, its relays having burnt out[3].

EvilWeevilMatildaBallCorner

Evil Weevil tries to reach the ball

Gnasher tried using its side to control the ball, but Matilda rushed in and pushed the ball away from Gnasher, sending it rolling down to the bottom of the arena. Gnasher tried driving after the ball, but Matilda stopped it, pushing it against the wall. As Gnasher reversed, Matilda flicked the ball away from the wall, but Evil Weevil was waiting close by, so Matilda knocked the ball straight to it. However, the ball rolled over Evil Weevil’s lifting forks and back into the wall, so Matilda pushed the ball into the corner. Evil Weevil tried to get to the ball, but Matilda struck Evil Weevil with her tusks and pushed the ball into the corner, striking Evil Weevil again as it tried to get to the ball.

"Evil Weevil is still motoring, into the corner, they need to get the ball out of there!"
— Jonathan Pearce
GnasherMatildaBlockEvilWeevil

Gnasher and Matilda block Evil Weevil

The General Gnasher

The General takes its turn to possess the ball

Matilda spun to knock the ball away from the wall, and despite The General ramming into her, pushed the ball, but drove into Evil Weevil, and the ball rolled away into the wall. Matilda flicked the ball away from the wall, straight to Evil Weevil. Evil Weevil tried pushing the ball up the field, but Gnasher and Matilda blocked Evil Weevil, with the ball being bounced backwards over Evil Weevil by an arena spike. Gnasher reversed by the ball, but The General got to the ball first, and pushed it across the arena into one of the side bumpers, where it rolled to Gnasher. Matilda rushed in before Gnasher could push the ball, getting to the ball and flicking it down the arena. Evil Weevil charged into the back of Matilda, allowing Gnasher to get to the ball.

"Very little control out there, someone needs to put a prong or a blade on the ball boys, and just get this game under control."
— Jonathan Pearce
Gnasher Out

Gnasher is flipped over by Evil Weevil

However, Matilda got free and rushed over to the ball, but couldn't get it away from Gnasher. Gnasher turned around to try and get the ball away, reversing into Evil Weevil, and tried pinning the ball against the wall to stop Matilda getting the ball. Matilda pushed past Gnasher, so Gnasher turned away and Matilda got to the ball. As Gnasher turned away, Evil Weevil got its forks underneath Gnasher, and flipped it over.

"Well, certainly Gnasher takes a sort of a Franco Baresi-type challenge and is flung over!"
— Jonathan Pearce after Evil Weevil flips Gnasher over
Evil Weevil attacks Matilda

Evil Weevil locks forks with Matilda's tusks

Matilda flicked the ball away from the wall, where it rested by the overturned Gnasher. Evil Weevil tried to get to the ball, but missed its charge, and Matilda got the ball. Matilda pushed the ball down the arena, and Evil Weevil drove into her. Matilda lifted Evil Weevil with her tusks and pushed it back towards the ball, but couldn't push past it. Evil Weevil got its forks under the front of Matilda, and tried to lift her, but Matilda kept pushing, so Evil Weevil reversed away up the arena. Matilda knocked the ball clear of the wall, and Evil Weevil rushed to the ball. Meanwhile, The General was barely moving, merely rocking back and forth, having run out of battery power[4].

"Evil Weevil still alive, I'm not too sure about the other robots here in this final."
— Jonathan Pearce notices that Evil Weevil is the only mobile competitor

Evil Weevil pushed the ball against the wall, but as it reversed, Matilda knocked the ball into the corner. Evil Weevil held back as Matilda pushed the ball away from the wall. However, when the ball was free, Evil Weevil seemed to have steering problems, turning away from the ball. Matilda pushed the ball into the arena centre, and Evil Weevil slowly drove towards it, but incorrectly drove beside it.

"It's come back into free play! Chance for Evil Weevil! Couldn't take advantage though, slow to react, going the, you're going, you're going the ... the wrong way! The wrong way! That's it, turn back, there's the goal! Remember the thing between the posts and the net, ball goes in? Object of the game..."
— Jonathan Pearce questions Evil Weevil's driving
FootballFinal

Evil Weevil beside the burning football

The General late push

The General makes one final push in the closing seconds

Gnasher Ball of Fire

Gnasher lays on its side next to the "Great Ball of Fire"

Sgt. Bash suddenly set the ball on fire, and Evil Weevil cautiously pushed it away, but then drove to the side of the arena. Matilda got to the ball, as Velocirippa started moving again. Evil Weevil reversed, but Matilda got to the ball, pushing it against The General. The General regained some mobility, pushing the ball into the wall, and the match ended with the ball resting by Gnasher. Time then ran out, and the judges were called to make a decision.

"Evil Weevil tried to take out Gnasher and succeeded, so good aggression from Evil Weevil, and d'you know, I think that could be the most decisive part played in this entire final, by Evil Weevil!"
— Jonathan Pearce whilst reviewing the highlights

Evil Weevil was deemed victorious by the judges, declaring it the Robotic Soccer champion, despite failing to score a goal throughout the whole event.

RobotSoccerChampion

Evil Weevil, Robotic Soccer champion

Winner: Evil Weevil

Trivia[]

  • For this competition, the Arena surface was illuminated with green lighting, to mimic the appearance of a football pitch.
  • Velocirippa was originally due to compete in the Pinball, but a behind-the-scenes accident caused filming to be delayed, and it was moved to the Robotic Soccer.
"We turned up for the Pinball tournament only to be told that we had been cancelled as filming had been delayed. As you can imagine I was none too pleased and kicked up a fuss, Mary-Jane took pity on me and negotiated a place in the soccer tournament to be filmed that day."
— Original Velocirippa website[5]
  • Wolverine was due to take part in the competition, but its team were asked to withdraw to allow another robot to compete.[6]
"...after we'd been on site for a while it became clear that the filming was behind schedule, and sure enough by the end of the day we had been asked to drop out from the footy match to allow another team a chance. We didn't mind seeing as we still had another game to play."
— The Wolverine website on the Robotic Soccer tournament
  • The competition was filmed on Wednesday 27 and Thursday 28 October 1999, with the final being filmed straight after the game between Spectre and The General[7].
  • As the robot's home towns were not announced on introduction, the home towns of Alien, Gnasher and Malfunktion are unknown. Of the others, Jonathan Pearce mentioned that Spectre was from Warwickshire, and the remaining four appeared in other episodes.
  • Robotic Soccer winner Evil Weevil did not score a single goal throughout the course of the competition.
  • During the final, the ball got set on fire for the second time in as many series.
  • Evil Weevil was the only Robotic Soccer participant which fought in the main competition in the same series, although Demolition Demon had fought in the previous series, and Velocirippa would make its UK Championship debut in the following series.

References[]

Navigation[]

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