- "It was General Lee of the Confederate Army who said 'It is well that war is so terrible, otherwise we might grow too fond of it'. Well, bad news Mr. Lee 'cause we already have! For the wars that have been raging in our designer war zone have given us some superb entertainment. There've been sparks, there's been fury, there's been the odd breakdown or two, but most of all, there's been some great combat. Which is why tonight we're giving all your galvanised grapple fans a chance to see the greatest hits, bashes and total mash-ups of Robot Wars. This is the best of the best! As they used to say on Blue Peter: Now's the time to ask your granny to leave the room!"
- — Craig Charles' introduction
The Best of Robot Wars was an end-of-series highlights compilation of Robot Wars: The Second Wars, originally broadcast on BBC Two on 19 March 1999. Hosted by Craig Charles, it took a look at some of the 'best' and 'worst' moments from the series. The broadcast managed to attract 3.01 million viewers; according to BARB, this meant it ranked thirteenth in the top thirty highest-rated BBC Two broadcasts during 15-21 March.
Craig Charles introduces the episode; note the unused behind-the-scenes clip of Minotaur (top-left)
Best Laid Plans[]
Mortis taking on the House Robots
- "You've charged your batteries, you've primed your weapons and you've hatched your plans like a mechanised mother hen but on Robot Wars the best laid plans of men and machines are often worthless."
- — Craig Charles
- Mortis' Gauntlet run in Heat C. After reaching the end, the Random Violence Technologies machine attempted to take on and deal some damage to the House Robots Matilda and Shunt, fulfilling Rob Knight's original intentions. However, Mortis was beaten and ended up being dumped in the pit by Shunt.
- Inquisitor's Gauntlet run in Heat D. Though the team stated that it would not be able to damage the House Robots, it successfully completed the Gauntlet course despite Shunt's intervention.
- Razer's Arena Semi-Final against Inquisitor, also from Heat D. Team Razer's machine was expected to win as a result of its highly damaging crushing beak, but after breaking Inquisitor's flail and buckling its rear armour, Razer lost drive. Inquisitor escaped and Razer ended up being attacked by the House Robots, to its team's dismay.
- Challenger's Joust Trial during Heat C. Challenger's team were unable to keep their robot in a straight line and Matilda ended up pushing it back to the start line.
- Caliban's Gauntlet run in Heat A. After getting stuck in the left-hand route, it came under attack from Sir Killalot, who proceeded to hook and turn Caliban over by its spinning flail.
Best Stunts[]
Cassius self-rights
- "As a rule, robots like ground. They weigh up to 80 kilos, they have wheels, they're designed to roll, not to fly. But rules are made to be broken, especially by robots."
- — Craig Charles
- Panic Attack's Gauntlet run in Heat F. With Sir Killalot holding the see-saw ramp down, Panic Attack launched off the end and landed on top of Dead Metal.
- RoboDoc's Joust run in Heat I. After driving into Matilda, the House Robot flipped RoboDoc over onto its back. As RoboDoc was invertible, it was able to last the full time limit after getting pinned against the ramp barrier.
- Cassius' Arena battle against Haardvark in Semi-Final 2. Within the opening seconds, Cassius twice flipped Haardvark over in rapid succession.
- Mortis' Gauntlet run during Semi-Final 1. Mortis drove off the see-saw ramp in the centre route, and after hitting the separator bars landed upside down.
- Cassius self-righting for the first time during its Pinball run in Semi-Final 2.
- The climatic Grand Final battle between Cassius and Panic Attack. Panic Attack drove over Cassius' wedge shape at high speed.
- Cassius' Grand Final Eliminator against Roadblock. After being turned over by Sir Killalot near the PPZ, Cassius once again demonstrated its self-righting capability.
Best of the House Robots[]
Shunt axes Panic Attack
- "Arguably, the true stars of Robot Wars go by the names of Matilda, Sergeant Bash, Shunt, Dead Metal and Sir Killalot. Week in and week out they tirelessly fight the good fight, mocking the opposition, taking no prisoners. They're vindictive, they're cruel, their reign of death and destruction knows no bounds and if you want action well, it doesn't get any better than this!"
- — Craig Charles
- The House Robots attacking Leighviathan and Mace during their Arena Semi-Final fight in Heat B.
- Shunt repeatedly axing and puncturing the top armour of Panic Attack during its Heat F Gauntlet run.
- Matilda and Shunt pinning and attacking Wheelosaurus against the Ramrig, during its Arena Semi-Final battle with Chaos in Heat B.
Best Think Again[]
Matilda flips Panda Monium over
- "Imagine you're a roboteer on the eve of battle. You've considered your strategies and anticipated every counter-attack. Nothing can go wrong, glory awaits. Then everything goes pants, you'd best think again."
- — Craig Charles
- Sting in its Gauntlet run in Heat H, being attacked and eventually pitted by Dead Metal.
- The Rameses II team explained their robot's improvements over its Series 1 incarnation, namely by replacing its wheels with tracks and upgrading its hammer weapon. These, however, did not prevent Rameses II from tipping itself forwards when trying to clear the breeze blocks during its Gauntlet run in Heat C.
- Team Panda confidently introduced and demonstrated the lifting spike equipped on their entry Panda Monium. However, their faith in their robot's high weight and low centre of gravity was displaced in its Heat A Semi-Final against Napalm, whereupon Matilda turned Panda Monium over as soon as it entered the PPZ.
- Team Ivanhoe expressed confidence in the rollover properties of their their titular machine's body shape, potentially enabling it to self-right. However, this potential was swiftly disproven by G.B.H. in their Heat J Final, which lifted Ivanhoe onto its side without it being able to roll back onto its wheels.
- The Tantrum team were 'reasonably confident' before their Tug of War Trial run in Heat B, but this did not prevent their machine from being pulled into the pit.
- Dartford Girls Grammar briefly detailed the chainsaw weapon on Napalm, as used in its Gauntlet run in Heat A. However, the weapon ended up being removed completely by Sir Killalot and was never refitted.
Best of the Infernos[]
The football after being set alight by Sergeant Bash
- "Chainsaws might cut you up and hammers might fall but there's one fate a robot fears above all: Being barbecued over the flame pit or lightly roasted by Sergeant Bash. With this in mind, let's warm things up a little bit with the best of the infernos."
- — Craig Charles
- All Torque getting dumped on the Flame Pit and left smoking in its Gauntlet run during Heat I.
- Rameses II being hung over the Flame Pit by Sir Killalot in its Heat C Semi-Final against Mortis, immediately following the team's comments regarding its lightweight, but hard to cut HDPE armour.
- Sir Killalot being inadvertently set on fire by Sergeant Bash while hoisting RoboDoc in its Gauntlet run in Heat I.
- Nemesis' fur - as usual - being set alight by Sergeant Bash during its Heat G Gauntlet run.
- ORAC being attacked, positioned and left over the Flame Pit by Killertron in their Heat E Semi-Final.
- Elvis getting set alight by Sergeant Bash during the course of its Football Trial in Heat D.
- Sergeant Bash setting the football alight during the Heat H Football trial.
- Milly-Ann Bug's hair being burnt in the Heat D Football Trial.
- R.O.C.S. getting tipped over by Sir Killalot while on the Flame Pit in its Gauntlet run in Heat G.
- Haardvark being held over the Flame Pit by Sir Killalot in its Semi-Final 2 fight against Cassius.
- Piece De Resistance being held aloft over the Flame Pit by Sir Killalot, immediately after its Skittles run in Heat A.
Worst Performances[]
Spin Doctor breaks Matilda's tusks
- "Of course things don't always go the House Robots' way. Matilda, Sergeant Bash, Shunt, Dead Metal and Sir Killalot have all been on the receiving end of some severe punishment. They've tasted the bitterness of defeat, they've been humiliated once too often and there can be no excuse for performances as poor as this!"
- — Craig Charles
- Cassius ramming under Dead Metal and flipping Matilda onto her side in the Heat H Final against Loco.
- All Torque ramming and pushing Matilda aside to emerge victorious in the Joust Trial of Heat I.
- The conclusion of Demon's King of the Castle run in Heat K, in which it brought Sergeant Bash along with it upon being pushed off the edge by him and Dead Metal.
- While plucking GroundHog off the floor in its Heat H Gauntlet run, Sir Killalot lost balance and ended up tipping forwards.
- Chaos' victorious Tug of War run in Heat B, where it became the only competitor to pull Dead Metal into the pit.
- Panic Attack driving Shunt off the edge of the Sumo ring in Heat F.
- During Roadblock's Pinball run in Semi-Final 2, Matilda accidentally reversed into the pit while attempting to fight the Series 1 champion off.
- In the Heat F Final against Whirling Dervish, Panic Attack succeeded in breaking off Sergeant Bash's circular saw through repeatedly ramming him.
- Spin Doctor's King of the Castle run in Heat E, where it succeeded in breaking off one of Matilda's tusks.
- Wheelosaurus damaging and ripping off Sergeant Bash's flamethrower towards the end of its Heat B Gauntlet run.
- Matilda driving off the edge of the King of the Castle ring with Technophobic in Heat E, as the latter was bring pushed off by Shunt.
- Dead Metal being driven backwards into the pit while attempting to attack Talos during its Heat J Gauntlet run.
- Haardvark taking Dead Metal down with it while being pushed off the Sumo ring in Heat L.
- Sir Killalot reversing into a nearby pit during Mortis' controversial Pinball run in Semi-Final 1.
Best Forgotten[]
Sir Killalot hoists Piece De Resistance over the brick wall
- "A poor performance, dodgy workmanship, driving so bad that you'd easily qualify for three penalty points. In Robot Wars some things are best left forgotten."
- — Craig Charles
- Ron's 4.6-second Sumo run against Shunt in Heat F.
- Pain failing to start its second Heat E Gauntlet run, ultimately retiring due to electrical and radio interference issues.
- Griffon's 3.4m Gauntlet run in Heat C, wherein it came under attack from the House Robots despite Oliver Steeples' confidence in being able to turn one over.
- Tender Caress' team in Heat L were confident of their robot's performance and were seen juggling in The Pits. However, their confidence was misplaced in the Sumo Trial in which Tender Caress was swiftly and forcibly eliminated by Dead Metal.
- Leighviathan getting lifted and severely damaged by Sir Killalot during its Heat B Gauntlet run.
- Piece De Resistance's Gauntlet and Skittles runs in Heat A, where it was respectively carried over the breeze blocks by Sir Killalot and unable to knock over a single barrel.
- The upgraded Bodyhammer getting beached on the Ramrig and pinned by Sir Killalot in its Heat D Gauntlet run.
- Flirty Skirty's armour being removed by Sir Killalot at the end of its Heat L Semi-Final battle against Havoc.
- Cruella being pinned against the Ramrig by Sir Killalot in its Heat C Gauntlet run.
- The Semi-Final 1 Gauntlet Race-Off between Mace and Panic Attack. Both robots were tied on distance on their initial runs, the outcome of the Race-Off being decided when Mace fell into a pit on the centre route with assistance from The Sentinel.
- Vercingetorix being pitted by Sir Killalot following its immobilisation against Haardvark in their Heat L Semi-Final. Also seen during Best Pits & Pieces.
Best Pits & Pieces[]
Killertron pits Technophobic
- "Let's face it, Robot Wars is all about carnage and destruction. The sheer brutality of two tin plated warriors smashing each other into tiny pieces. The spectacle of one crazed machine pushing another into the pit of oblivion. In recognition of this fact it's time for the best pits and pieces."
- — Craig Charles
- Mortis by Panic Attack and Matilda in Semi-Final 1, Arena.
- Cassius by Sergeant Bash in Heat H, Final.
- Groundhog by Matilda in Heat H, Final.
- Behemoth by Sir Killalot in Semi-Final 1, Trial (Pinball).
- Flirty Skirty by Sir Killalot in Heat L, Gauntlet.
- Oblivion by Matilda in Heat C, Gauntlet.
- Nemesis by Onslaught in Heat G, Semi-Final.
- Disruptor by Panic Attack in Heat F, Final.
- Technophobic by Killertron in Heat E, Final.
Best Music in the World... Ever![]
The International Wreck Crew perform their theme song in the Arena
- "There's nothing harmonious about robots locked in battle. But for one team, Robot Wars isn't just about tuning engines..."
- — Craig Charles as he puts on some earplugs
As "Robots' Revenge", the theme song of the International Wreck Crew began to play, Craig Charles grimaced and placed pieces of cotton in his ears during his intro. This transitioned into a montage of the team performing their theme in the Arena, interspersed with clips of Plunderbird 2's battles and events throughout the series. The main clip of the International Wreck Crew's performance was original footage, not previously featured in the series. It also included an appearance from the four Second Wars Grand Finalists - Killertron, Cassius, Panic Attack and Roadblock, joining Plunderbird 2 on the arena. Another robot can also be seen in the arena, but remains unidentified due to being obscured in shadow. It is unknown when this performance was recorded, but it appears that this was filmed prior to some kind of minor event that was never aired on television.
Best Behaviour[]
The House Robots turn on Demolition Demon
- "It might appear chaotic but the sport of Robot Wars is governed by some strict regulations. When told to activate, you activate! When told to cease, you cease! However, on occasion the House Robots have been known to misbehave..."
- — Craig Charles
- The House Robots ganging up on Demolition Demon following its Skittles run in Heat A, turning, beaching and causing damage after it had accumulated the highest score of this Heat.
- Despite 'Cease' being called at the end of Rameses II's Joust run in Heat C, Matilda continued to push Rameses II back, prompting a reprimand from Craig Charles.
Best Battles[]
Killertron attacks Behemoth
- "When push comes to shove - and it often does on Robot Wars - there can be no greater sight than two robots locked in battle. Chainsaws throb menacingly waiting for release. Hammers and axes strike with deadly accuracy. Shrapnel flies across the arena floor like confetti at a wedding but robots don't live together in married bliss, they want to divorce the hell out of each other!"
- — Craig Charles
- Killerhurtz vs Roadblock, Heat G, Semi-Final.
- Matilda cutting into Broot's wooden wheels, Heat J, Gauntlet.
- Matilda attempting to cut into Wheelosaurus' wheels, Heat B.
- Behemoth vs Killertron, Semi-Final 1, Arena. Specific focus was placed on Killertron damaging and pulling Behemoth over with its pickaxe.
- Mortis denting and puncturing Oblivion's top armour with its axe, Heat C, Final.
- Panic Attack vs Whirling Dervish, Heat F, Semi-Final.
- Behemoth vs Inquisitor, Heat D, Final. Specific focus was placed on Behemoth pushing Inquisitor into Sir Killalot, who proceeded to remove the latter's flail.
- Dreadnaut vs Oblivion, Heat C, Semi-Final.
- "So there you have it, you lucky people! You've seen the axle grinders and the circular saws. Now you've seen the best, of Robot Wars."
- — Craig Charles' sign-off
Trivia[]
- This was the first of two special episodes broadcast during the run of Series 2 with a focus away from robot combat, primarily being a highlights compilation of the main series.
- The episode featured clips from all the Heats, Semi-Finals and the Grand Final of the series but none from the Grudge Matches special. Additionally, behind-the-scenes clips could be briefly seen sometimes during the segments featuring Craig Charles.
- The video wall backgrounds shown in the introduction and 'Best Music' segment were reused from the spin-off Robot Wars Revealed, containing a mix of footage from the main series alongside behind-the-scenes and 'video diary' material. Outside of its initial BBC Choice airings, this made the special one of a few instances where footage from the series was publicly available prior to the Mech+ streams.
- The 'Best Music' segment would be the final time the song "Robots' Revenge" was used in Robot Wars.
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